I completely live by fidelity and I don't know whats wrong with me. My husband has always wanted to watch me with another man (his fantasy), while I have played into it during sexual moments, I do tell him it'll never happen. Although lately I've been really attracted to our neighbor. He's very good looking although we don't converse more than HI and bye, I stare at him when he's outside most of the day. My husband is aware of the attraction, but I don't think he knows how attracted I am. It turns my husband on though.
I feel really guilty, is this normal? I have two kids 2 and under, just quit my job and this is the first time I haven't worked in 15 years. My husband and I have mindblowing sex (unfortunately only about once or twice a week). I don't know if I just want someone to be attracted to me or if it's deeper. I feel so guilty. Is this normal? Has anyone else been through this?
2007-08-14 13:29:43 · 30 answers · asked by mom of 2 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
it is completely normal and whoever tells u it is not, is lying. Try talking about him 2 ur hubby and see what he thinks. But be aware that bringing another person into your relationship sexually is dangerous, even if it is a fantasy. That is great that u and ur hubby have mind blowing sex. You might be surprised 2 find out that ur hubby has little secret attractions as well. I have that same fantasy with my spouse but she is not up to it. So give yourself a pat on the back for trying to keep ur man satisfied. Good luck and have fun
2007-08-14 18:57:49 · answer #1 · answered by jayman31 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
It's a hyper-sexual activity.
We did this as swingers. It's like taking a hit of Cocaine instead of caffeine only it's sex, not drugs. You're getting a super dose of seritonin(sp?). It's a feel good chemical the brain produces after sex. If I am not mistaken, it can lead to addictive behaviors.
I have to caution you that even though the physiological response is normal, you will not want to do this. He will eventually want to do full foursomes and you may not be ready to see him with another woman.
If you have mind blowing sex, leave it at that... don't fix it if it isn't broken. You will break it if you do this.
Here is what you can expect if you do it.
1. You will love it and it will be THE MOST INTENSE SEX you have ever had.
2. Regular sex will loose it's appeal over time.
3. You will probably find a better lover than your hubby and hope secretly for the better lover.
4. People will find out and your reputation will be smudged if not ruined.
5. Unless you are completely amoral, you will have issues with guilt.
6. Once you cross this bridge you can never come back.
EVER!
I do know some couples that make this work, but mostly, I see couples that are hurt, dysfunctional and one of the couple is looking for fulfillment where the other one lacks.
2007-08-14 13:42:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
What do you feel guilty about? oh I know what you wrote but that was not the whole story.I believe you have your sexual fantasy although you claim to only indulge your husband's and have done so .How did you indulge your man's fantasy when you say it will never happen( he wants to watch another man have sex with you).Now you say you are sexually attracted to your neighbor.It appears that you are sexually starved and are looking for an outlet which does not involve your husband's fantasy.Being a mother of two and unemployed are totally irrelevant to your current desires, which by the way are normal.It is apparent that you want mass permission from the folks at Yahoo Answers to indulge your desire but I suspect you already know that no one can make this decision for you except you.I hope you make the right one for everyone-yourself, husband,kids, and your (maybe fortunate) neighbor.
2007-08-14 14:02:17 · answer #3 · answered by abbeycoolit 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
My husiband is the same way. He likes for me to pretend its another man Im having sex with. I feel werid doing that but htat is what he wants. I know him though, should I really hook up with someone it would be a source of problems. I just let him play it out in bed and thats that. I am however attracted to someone else. I just picture him as I have sex with the hub...as close as I will ever get to actually doing it.
2007-08-14 15:10:42 · answer #4 · answered by tweedy778 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well I'll say it's not normal for your husband to want to share his wife with another man and also, you may be attracted to the neighbor and he may be equally attracted to you, but that doesn't mean he wants to join the freak fest you guys have going on in your house.
2007-08-14 13:53:00 · answer #5 · answered by Truth Hurts 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Once you go there, you can never come back. I have a really dear friend who's husband asked her to swing a little. Once she said OK she realized she didn't feel comfortable and she told her husband but now her husband won't go back to the way things were. It ruined their marriage. Think about your values, decide what they are, stick to them. You may want to talk seriously about it to your husband. (Like: not when you're having sex). Tell him how you feel and tell him why it is important to you.
You obviously have some moral problem with it. Don't allow yourself to fantasize into things that make you feel bad about yourself. When you feel guilty, it is called your concience. You know in your heart that it would mess up your family life, or you wouldn't be feeling bad about it.
Be honest with yourself and be true to yourself.
2007-08-14 13:51:36 · answer #6 · answered by Sara B 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It's not normal. You sound bored. You have two children. They are looking to you to provide them with a stable home...mommy and daddy. You should feel guilty if you think about cheating. Once or twice a week of mindblowing good sex,is terrific. Why do you want to risk getting an STD or wrecking someone else's marriage? You have TWO CHILDREN. Be a mature mother; even if their father is warped.
2007-08-14 13:41:27 · answer #7 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 5⤊ 2⤋
What I find strange is that your husband has a fantasy of seeing you with another man. Usually a man's fantasy is to see you with another women. But if he likes that you need to talk to him about it before you go any step further. Men are strange. They may say it is ok but when you actually do it they may not like it. So talk to him about it first.
2007-08-14 14:31:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to decide what you want. IF you believe in fidelity and you cheat on your husband, you are cheating on yourself.
Just the fact that you are calling sex with your neighbor cheating, even though your husband may want to watch, shows that you believe it is wrong. Stay true to yourself and your beliefs.
2007-08-14 13:35:47 · answer #9 · answered by mj69catz 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You're the one who has raging hormones, believes in black magic, and wants a nanny cam.
Yeah- cuckolding your husband sounds like yet another brilliant decision in a long list of recent brilliant decisions you've been making. Like having 2 kids in 2 years with a man who wants you to screw some other guy infront of him and then quitting your income source.
As if what someone here says will stop you.
2007-08-14 13:34:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 2⤋