I'm specifically concerned about my kids inheritence and how my being remarried would effect this, both pro and con.
2007-08-14 11:45:39 · 11 answers · asked by Bill X 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Do your kids a favor...get a prenup from whom ever you marry and then spend every bit of any thing you could leave the kids. It will keep them from fighting over it after you're gone.
2007-08-14 11:55:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I married a widower. I see no reason whatsover why someone should not marry after the death of a spouse--not immediately, certainly, give a year or so at least--but I have never understood why a child or anyone else would deny their parent happiness and companionship in their older years. I was lucky enough (on both sides of the family--his and mine--) to have loving support and encouragement. Even his former in-laws welcomed me--and still do--to the family, and we are still both invited to their gatherings. I know that this isn't always the case. I also know that there are unscrupulous people who seek out widows and widowers to marry for the wrong reasons. But by and large, I think the decision to remarry should be with the person doing the marrying, not with others who want to interfere for their own reasons or interests, or suspicions. I think there should be family support, instead of interference.
2016-05-17 23:19:24 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if I were widowed with teens, I would NOT remarry unless they ALL really, really liked my fiancee. Otherwise, your marriage is doomed. (In which case, wait until the one who dislikes her the most leaves for college). That being said, if they all like her and bless your marriage, go get a lawyer and do pre-nuptial agreement (so everything that was yours before marriage is still yours and everything that was hers before is still hers) and then Wills so that you can leave her 25% of your estate and leave the kids each 25% of your estate. You are right, though. A wife can go to court and try to get your kids' inheritance. And prenups can be broken. So, be sure you know this woman well enough and that she would never do such a thing before you marry her, too. That probably means date her 2 - 3 years before marriage.
2007-08-14 11:59:08 · answer #3 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ALWAYS always always put your children first! In my will I have it so that my 16 year old son receives 50% and my hubby gets the other 50%. He is not his real father. My hubby was actually quite mad at me for this BUT ya know what? I would not feel ready for death if I was not sure my child was going to be okay financially once I was gone. This way I knew 100% he would get the money I was leaving. No matter how much a new lover means to u and how much they reassure you that your children will b cared for- how do u really know they will do as promised? Do what is in your heart and what is best for your kids! If a new love truly loves u for YOU then she wont care at all and will ENCOURAGE you to make sure its taken care of ahead of time as I have done!!!!
2007-08-14 12:07:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since it is financial stuff you are concerned about, rather than their affections toward a new wife, you need to set up a trust, placing all your assets in that trust, and parcel out assets thru it at your death. Have an attorney do this for you. You can revamp it yearly, and you ought to, too. My dad died with a 20 year will as his only instructions, and it was a mess. Assuming you enter into a new marriage, each of you needs to sign an agreement, a prenup. with regard to your assets. And, as and If your relationship survives, increase her amount.... if she ends up taking care of you, don't have it such that your house is to be sold, and given to your children....leaving her on the street...... a house that you two buy should be held outside the aspects of your trust, with rights of survivorship.
2007-08-14 12:06:48 · answer #5 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With regard to money, take out a pre-nuptial agreement. Your new wife will most likely also have kids so probably will support the idea.
With regard to everything else, it's tricky. Talk to your kids, see how they feel. And one important thing: I would recommend not having more babies. The three you have have gone through enough. Best advise? Wait till they are all up and out.
2007-08-14 11:54:58 · answer #6 · answered by skydivemommy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pros:
1. Your children will benefit from a female presence, your boys as much as your girls.
2. Seeing you happy will make your children happy
Cons:
1. They may rebel - but that fades away with time.
2. Make sure you took a real time off after your wife`s passing, you don`t want to traumatize the children with a new wife 6 months after they lost their mom.
2007-08-14 11:53:58 · answer #7 · answered by Jane Marple 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i'm sure you have thought of a pre-nup but some women feel that means you don't love them like you should or you wouldn't ask that of them.you have to look out for them because unfortuantely if you don't who's to say she will when your gone?from what i know about wills and such even if you specify certain things to go to certain ones its not the case if the spouse has a living spouse and still married.might want to check with a lawyer and see what your options are beforehand.i wish you the best and good luck.
2007-08-14 11:53:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that part of it should be discussed with a lawyer. If you are concerned about them emotionally perhaps you should visit with a counselor first
2007-08-14 11:50:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Have the proper papers written up and then they are protected and you can live your life with ease and comfort...
2007-08-14 11:56:21 · answer #10 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋