how do i control my anger?

Question

i get angry pretty easily at times. like the other night my boyfriend was supposed to call me around 5 and he never did. instead of him calling me and telling me that he just didnt call at all so i was sitting around waiting for his call. i finally called him at like 9 that night and yelled at him. he hates when i call just to yell (so do i) and it doesnt happen too often but its the only way i know how to deal with anger, to yell. instead of yelling all the time and complaining, how can i fix my anger. i need helpful tips. thank you so much!

Answer 1

Yeah, I've had that blow up kind myself where you have to let the monster out of the cage or you think the roof is going to come off your house. I have learned that we get mad for different reasons than we usually think though, mostly fear...like I've been afraid of losing someone, or losing control of a situation, or that someone is lying or doesn't care. So one thing I've had to work on is asking myself what my own deal is behind the scenes. Of course, in that moment of feeling explosive there's too much adrenaline to be so rational. So, there's this list I got ahold of, I'll just rattle off a few things from it, hope it helps.
throwing ice into a shower
shredding paper
scraping paint
chewing gum and blowing bubbles really hard
blowing up plastic bags and popping them
beating a bag of ice with a meat hammer
breaking sticks
stomping your feet
pretending the person your mad at is in a chair and telling them off

I live in the country, so I can also go outside and yell at the barn, which is nice because it just sits there and doesn't care what I have to say, nor do I have to apologize! In the end, it's best to tell the person how you feel in a calm way, like...when you do this, I feel this way, would you consider doing this instead, it would mean a lot to me...etc...

Answer 2

The singular emotion of anger is self-destructive and puts an end to relationships and jobs - IF you allow it, throughout a lifetime.
Your first mistake, was "waiting around" for him to call when he didn't call at the appointed time. You should have just gone on about your business of the evening, and thought real seriously, "is this a now and again thing? -or a pattern of disinterest in me?" -but allowing anger to take hold so you make a largescale as* of yourself by calling him and yelling, is trite, if not wholly immature on your part. -And you don't state how old you are, but if you're in your teens, time is on your side to conquer this "knee jerk" reaction of yours. If your "complaining" is right up there "neck and neck" with your anger unleashed - you need to take a look at yourself and this relationship. Is it only HIM you react to in these kinds of ways? or others? -If the latter, you do have a life problem to tackle and learn to deal with.

Try taking a short walk around the block, putting on some soothing music and thinking, a bubble bath - anything that will calm you down and BACK to being a reasonable person. You said how you feel clearly - that YOU don't like yourself in this vein of behavior, so only YOU can do something about it dear. Try these things in an effort to regain self-control, for believe me, you'll never be sorry if you rein in this behavior, and will be light years ahead in life by conquering the "enemy" - which in a nutshell is: loss of self-control.

Goodluck honey...it isn't easy, but it won't be the hardest thing you ever learned to do, either - and you will LIKE yourself better for it!

Grace

Answer 3

Anger is not good for young girls. We have to be kind, happy, refined. If he doesn't make you happy there are still a lot of young boys and you can choose. If you are not happy now, imagine the two of you after 15 years together: you-a busy mum with 2 or three children, angry and frustrated all the time that he can not come in time to help you with the chores.He- a frustrated young man who does his best for the family but never enough cause he has a unhappy yelling wife.

Answer 4

Anger is a result of things not being the way you want them to be. You must change your expectations. If he doesn't call big deal, life will still go on. Move onto thinking about something else.

Answer 5

My anger controls me.

Answer 6

I am the same way! i've really been trying to work on my anger and what works for me is distracting myself or writing everything down. I have a book I call my anger diary and i write the most awful things, i'm ashamed of myself but hey it works and nobody has to hear it!

Answer 7

Try thinking about what you are going to say before you say it.

remind yourself that it's not a big deal and just remember to calm down. Remember to relax and process what you want to say the person so you don't injure your throat (and the other person's eardrums!)

Answer 8

just calm down read a book that always help think about the happy times u had wth him

Answer 9

you how to count when you angry ,you must be pretty girl if you count to 10 then blow your breath .or take out on your pillow when you get home if need more help emial me at

Answer 10

tell urself he probaly got caught up in the moment or he just forgot and coutn to ten and try to relax as much as u can. =)))