Please help.. I am confused why was he so angry?

Question

My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me a few months ago. It was very painful for me as I didn't want it. He was saying that he doesn't want long-distance anymore. But he kept saying it's for now. When I told him that I need to cut all contact with him as it hurts me to be in contact with him, he was always angry and would be doing everything for us staying in contact. He was telling me that he wants us to talk to each other whenever we need. I tried to be strong but these days I really needed him to talk to me. I asked him 2 days ago to talk but he ended up shouting at me that it's not his role anymore to be alwys there like he used to. I was upset and he then got really angry and told me that he is fed up and he has moved on and he hates me and he doesn't need me anymore. But 2 weeks ago he said he needed me when I wasn't answering my phone. I feel so hurt by this. We arranged to meet to talk face to face but he now asked for a week to think as he needs to decide if we should meet.

Answer 1

Geesh!!! - and you miss talking with him???

And he still wants to talk to you???

Get a boyfriend you can see in person!!!

I got annoyed just reading the question - you two must really be annoyed by it. Your FANTASY relationship is NOT real. Move on - leave each other alone - get a hobby or read a good book.

Answer 2

I agree with the other answers.....LDRs are hard to maintain; and from what you wrote he is not in love with you ...YET he still wants you to be there, available, whenever HE feels like talking ! This is NOT fair and it is also NOT healthy.

You should look at what he DOES..not at what he SAYS. Talk is cheap!

He sounds like an immature and selfish person...Why do you want to have someone like that in your life? You deserve better than this manipulator !!!

Stop ALL contact: no calls, no emails, no visits, nothing! He is making it very hard for you to move on and that is HOW he's doing it: by still being "there" and making you think about him...So don't continue to play this harmful game and cut the strings.
Move on and don't look back. Someone who will love and respect you is out there....Good luck!!!

Answer 3

Letting go is a very painful to ones heart & soul.
This is the end of the line, you need to quit enabling him to hurt you. Only you can put that wall up!
It is better to be hated for what you are
than to be loved for what you are not.
Haven't you heard that old saying:
I fear our love will fade
I fear for fealings forgot
The pain of passion dying
outweighs knowing love not.

What this means is it is time to put your heart & soul for this person in the past, and move on where there is no more pain!
I was once like you & now I have learned that I am a person that doesn't want to suffer the pain & passion of love to a person that treats my life like a roller coaster.
It is up to you to make that decision in life if you want the pain to stop.
If you choose the road that I am on, first step is loosing all contact with this person. Quit letting him treat you this way. You are allowing yourself to let this person hurt you.
You are a person with a heart & soul so stop the pain!

Answer 4

If I were the shopper, i does not have been indignant. despite the fact that, i could have been very aggravated with the aid of using such slang. It does sound vulgar, and not what i could anticipate from a mature person guy or woman. it could grate on my nerves. different than for the "men", in case you communicate on your shoppers such as you write, your English is abominable. i'm initially from Brooklyn, ny, the place that language is meant to be straight forward. despite the fact that, i've got by no skill heard it that undesirable over there. the place did you %. it up? on the different hand, it is likewise unsettling when I hear sir or madam; a minimum of in my portion of the country. that is lots extra straight forward in the South. i circulate out to consume lots. most of the waiters and waitresses are youthful. they're all very friendly and polite. yet i've got by no skill heard them tackle absolutely everyone like that. they could say, "How is all and sundry on the instant?" And while we end our meal, they could say, "grew to become into each thing ok?. Have a great day". i'm hoping which you at the instant are not indignant with the aid of my answer.

Answer 5

In any break in a growing relationship, it is likely that one person will find new boundaries to explore and may see existing or old boundaries as the barriers that were subconsciously imposed at the beginning of your relationship as restrictive. He may now view your originally shared limits of normality as restrictive. Wanting to 'move on' is a dangerous, yet exciting experience which can only be cushioned by being allowed to hold on to the past through you. Allowing him access to the past by 'talking' permits him to explore new areas of life independently whilst having the comfort of normality that is you, that was your relationship. The dangers of this situation are that it effectively makes you a 'doormat' if he moves on permanently, or 'the love of his life' if he doesn't. It can only be your choice. Good luck!

Answer 6

Why are you letting this guy run you all over town and rule your life? He broke it off, now he has to deal with that decision. Stop asking him to talk to you, stop talking to him just because he wants to, and tell him to move on. It will hurt a whole lot less if you set this guy adrift. But you need to get a backbone and take charge of your own life.

Answer 7

Oh please ... get rid of him honey. He's crazy to do this to you. It is not fair and it keeps re-opening the wound. I know you must miss him but the best way to get over him is to take control and cut the strings. By prolonging this, you are prolonging your pain. You deserve to have a man treat you the right way...not play these games. Either he wants you or he doesn't but this is no way to live. Be strong, you will make it and find someone better!!!

Answer 8

I personally wouldn't waste my time with him, he is stringing you along and it seems as though he only wants you when its on his terms and thats not how friendship and relationships work.
He sounds really selfish, and is probably saying that he hates you and has moved on to hurt you and get you chasing him as you weren't there to speak to him when he wanted too.
Move on..it will be realy hard at first but it will get easier, you will find someone eventually and you will be a lot happier rather than hanging about waiting for him to speak or see you.x

Answer 9

if he really loved you and wanted to be with you he would deal with the long distance. if you really want to be with someone you go to all lengths to make it happen. i was with my boyfriend for 2 years and a year we spent it long distance 9 hours away from each other and we made it work. we had our rough times but we did our best and we always reminded each other how much we wanted it to work and we made it happen. and 2 years later we are still together and engaged doing great. you need to move on and find someone who wants to make things work and will do watever it takes to be with you. he isnt worth all the pain you are going through.

Answer 10

Your boyfriend is a control freak. None of what he says is about love, or caring; it's about control, specifically about him having control over you.

You need to get therapy or counseling to help you understand and recognize an abusive relationship when you see it, before you get into another relationship. And you need to cut all contact with this person, as he is behaving abusively.

This is a website that I have found helpful in gaining insight into abusive personalities and abusive relationships. http://www.drirene.com/verbalabuse.htm

Please get help. If you cannot recognize an abuser and understand the dynamics of abuse in a relationship, you are at risk of great harm.