He was sentenced 15yrs. in a state prison.But he is apealing his case and there is a big chance his sentenced will be reduced to 5 yrs with 5 yrs of paroel.He has already served 2yrs....I really love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him.
2007-08-14 10:34:50 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wait till he's out, so you can recap with the last 5 years (it'll of been 5 years when he gets out). Things can change in that period of time. I mean you've only spent time with him for 1 year. Get to know each other better after he gets out, till you decide anything.
2007-08-14 10:40:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it's love, you'll wind up waiting no matter what anyone says and you might be right....Babydoll, I don't know your jailbird, so I can't make any comment about whether or not he'd be worth waiting for, but I can tell you this, with absolute certainty: Loving an inmate is a VERY HARD ROAD....it's about slogging through endless paperwork, it's trying to keep up with rules that seem to change every week, it's waiting for incredibly expensive collect phone calls that might or might not come and when he doesn't call, praying with all your heart that the phones in the day room are just either too busy or broken and that he's not hurt or on lockdown, it's becoming obsessive about checking your mail and the heartsick feeling that comes over you when the letter you want so badly isn't there,it's about getting writers cramp and spending $20 a week on stamps and stationary, it's about dealing with either keeping it secret or dealing with disapproval of the relationship everywhere you turn and mostly it means living in a future you can't be sure of and that really does take a toll.
If I had a choice, I wouldn't do it, but I've loved the guy for over 20 years and I can't quit now...and I'm almost 40, so it's not as if I'm spending my youth dealing with the Dept.of Corrections...think carefully, Sweetie, it is a hard, hard thing to do and no guarantees. ... and do visit http://prisontalk.com .
2007-08-15 05:29:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Think beyond the love part,15yrs not a nice guy .What future will you have he will have a hard time getting any good paying job, Will always have a record.An what are you going to do for the next 3-5-15 yrs getting older an he will not be the same person when he gets out?? You will be going a seeing him playing them leaving. Married so he will have someone to have letters to read. You bring him things. Then when he gets out then what your working to support him.Or he leaves you after waiting.Not much of a life for you.Please think this over he's not going anywhere so wait before marrage.You might meet some nice person that doesn't have issues.Just my thought.
2007-08-14 10:57:31 · answer #3 · answered by 45 auto 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You forgot one critical piece of information:
What is he in for?
That makes all the difference. I am guessing since it is such a long sentence, that it is for some sort of violent crime, or a severe sort of non-violent crime. No good, sweetie.
Prison changes people - he could go in as one man and come back as another.
Since I know so little of your situation, I will only say don't do ANYTHING until he gets out. Spend some time with him on the outside and see what kind of person he is NOW - the man you fell in love with may not exist anymore.
Also, if he was convicted of a sex crime or a violent crime, don't even CONSIDER this.
2007-08-14 10:52:55 · answer #4 · answered by HooliganGrrl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did he ask you to marry him before or after he was sent to prison?
I would think twice about it. Do you really want to wait around for him hoping for a big chance that he will get out and hope that when he does that he still feels the same way for you?
You have been dating him for 3 years but he's been in there for 2. Do you really know him?
2007-08-14 10:46:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I should not and will not judge you or the situation. But here is my opinion.
I'm not sure what kind of a person he is and why he's serving time....but I'm sure you know. You just need to put your feelings aside and think with your brain ...not your heart. Is he really the right person for you? What will your future be like with him? Can you wait 3 yrs....or 13....if his appeal does not go thru.?
I'm sure you guys love each other.....but there is a lot more to it then just love. It's your call. Good luck.
2007-08-14 10:43:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My sister in law married the father of her child while he was in prison. The marriage lasted less than 2 years. The chances of a marriage surviving when one of the spouses is in jail is not good. Its extremely difficult for the partner who's out in society.
Ask yourself this first...Are you prepared for the lonely nights if he has to serve the 15 yrs?
2007-08-14 10:41:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just wait for him to get out... If you still feel the same way by all means marry the man. Men in prison seem more caring because pretty much you are the only contact he has. Be very cautious ask yourself this question. Do I really know this man? If you have not dated him on the outside odds are you really don't.
2007-08-14 10:42:00 · answer #8 · answered by Raven 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why the hell would you want to spend your life with someone locked up in prison? Can you possibly be that degrading. WHY IS HE IN PRISON? 15 years in state prison, oh my dear, I believe he did something wrong?
You must have zero self respect, pride or dignity. No morals and no values if you could even talk to some loser in prison, let alone want to marry him. I cannot imagine your honeymoon.
My advise to you is, get on with your life and don't even think of marrying some creature in prison. If you do make the stupidest decision of your life and you do marry him, DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN! Don't even think of bringing innocent children into that miserable life, because I can tell you already, you are getting a divorce!
2007-08-14 10:46:13 · answer #9 · answered by Very Honest 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Don't marry him until he is out and you are sure he is wanting to straighten up and move toward a life for you 2 together.
there is nothing wrong with loving him and giving him a chance to show you he loves you too, but wait until he has a chance to work out his other problems and get on his feet. If he loves you he will wait too.
2007-08-14 10:41:01 · answer #10 · answered by rumbler_12 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋