Am I to old for my husband?

Question

I am 36 and he is 27. When we met it was clearly lust. But now I can see the childishness that he carries, jealously, insecurity, and control, not sure if I can handle it. We have been married a year and a half.

Answer 1

not too old, just more mature and experienced in life and relationships. not to put your husband down, but i haven't been like that in a relationship since i was in high school...and that was 10 years ago. has he not been with many girls?

Answer 2

Well, being the older person in the relationship, you really need to make your husband understand that the things he does are not what a mature individual does. I am not suggesting you scold him as if you were his mother, but rather educate him. Give him examples of the things you have learned. Don't try to make him be like you but force him to look at things differently. You have to put him in your shoes so that he has a different perspective. At the same time, you knew what you were doing when you got involved with him so...you made your bed, now you have to sleep in it. If he is controlling and you really can't handle it, speak with him on the level about the possibility of you leaving. He needs to understand that by hurting you he is pushing you away and that is not what people do to people that they love. Good Luck!!!

Answer 3

I don't think that age has anything to do with this type of thing because he could have been your age or not and honey he could be the same. I think that maturity has a lot to do with it and he clearly wasn't ready for your level.
What I would do is try to fight for my marriage though I would not give up that easily I would try to get some professional help as in marriage counseling. I hope that your lust for each other turned into love or else it will never work.

Answer 4

To your question "Am I too old for him" - no. You are just a foxy cougar - revel in it!

To the rest of your comments - that is a different problem entirely. It is not just the age thing (my sweetie is 27) - it is a fundamental personality difference. Either that, or he may have other issues that are keeping him from becoming all the way grownup. Maybe some counselling, or some heart-to-hearts between the two of you would help.

Much Love,

Jessi

Answer 5

I'm not going to say you are too old for your husband but I will say the things you mentioned of being jealous and insecure which always leads to a control freak is really bad news. He's not going to change any time soon if at all so you have to decide now, not later. Good luck.

Answer 6

When you met him it was pure lust this was not suitable for marriage because you should have known all these things about him before you married him now it seems like its to late well its never to late. hes jelous and controling insecure how did you not notice this before you were married. First of all he is still very young and has a lot of growing up to do i dont care how good he ws in bed.
Do what ever floats your boat.
best of luck

Answer 7

i don't think that age should have anything to do with it. Age is just a number....maturity is the person. Does he feel like he's missing out on being a club-goer and wants to things per his age? You are obviously more mature because of some of the things you have gone through that he has not. This is one of those things you have to remember. Does he know that you are annoyed? I think you need to talk to him about why he acts certain ways and figure out if its something he's willing to change or if he likes being the way he is. Maybe it is just a phase he is going through and wants attention from you in the wrong way

Answer 8

You are not to old for your husband. The problem is that he is insecure.
My husband when he was alive was very jealous , insecure and a control freak. He was two years older than me . He was like this the whole 20 years that we were married.
Try a marriage counselor. May be he is one in a million and want to stop this behavior and not loose you.Good luck.

Answer 9

I understand. Sometimes even though a man is 27 in age, he has not matured. Women mature faster than men. I'm sorry to hear that you are having a problems. I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 10

You fell for physical attraction, but as you get older you need a bit more than that to keep you happy in a stable relationship. You should have waited for a man that you could relate to, but then again you probably wouldn't have found one so physically attractive. What draws us isn't always enough to keep us, that's why there are so many lousy relationships. It's up to you if you want to remain with him, but if you do you shouldn't critisize him, because you knew who he was when you married him.

Answer 11

Sounds like he is too young for you. Too old for him would mean that your age prevents you from having a vibrant and healthy relationship. Clearly it is not an age issue, but rather a lack of maturity and self confidence on his part.