we are both 28 married at 22 he was a virgin I already had two kids ,so you know I like sex (0: , he seems to last two minutes, or less and blames it on me. He says I am too good, he never wants to give me foreplay he calls everything nasty, what to do??? I am so frustrated my hormones are going crazy I need tender love ,touches he gives me none! its just lay on your back for a minute then he rolls over and fall to sleep. and that is maybe twice a month thats all I get!!!
Maybe there is something going on with his child good ,he doesn't talk to his father who raised him none of the siblings and his 25 year old sister is a virgin and never dated either, I just think its weird. It has always been like this the first year was tough it was maybe four times and he said because he is too shy, with his own wife?
I have had questions on his sexuality and asked him! he told me that a lot of people have asked him that in the past because he was a virgin
2007-08-14 09:06:01 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He lived with a girl he liked from high school for four years sharing the same room never touched her she thought he was gay and the mother allowed them to room together in the same bed because she thought he was a nice gay boy too. this is what he told me but he always liked this girl. He told her he loved her the month we were married he told me he told her that to but he picked me and we moved on. but I need sex is he gay??
2007-08-14 09:08:19 · update #1
I doubt he is gay, nothing you have said would lead me to think that. I would say that he was brought up to believe sex was for reproduction only and not for any pleasure. You obviously married him because you loved him as a person not as a sex partner so I think you should work on your marriage. Try introducing him to human touch in a loving way without being sexual. Put on your sweats and give him a nice massage, cuddle as much as he will possibly let you, compliment his looks, etc..Gotta be tough on you too though.
Your poor nerves are probably shot. Best of luck!
2007-08-14 10:05:59 · answer #1 · answered by CINDY J 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He has a hang up about sex. My suggestion is even if he only lasts 2 minutes the first time, you guys need to keep going. After he has come, he should begin to pleasure you and maybe you could make love a second time where he will last much longer. It is hard to know if he's gay or not but he does have a problem with sex and I think therapy would help you a lot. Your marriage won't last unless you can both have a fulfilling sex life and his being gay or not has no bearing on that. Ask him to go to therapy with you. If he refuses begin to divorce him and find a more fulfilling lover. He is obviously not satisfying you.
2007-08-14 16:22:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know. Most men seem to like sex, but there was this one guy I knew who grew up without a father and I think he may still be a virgin from his history! Another friend is like that too, but she's a girl.
Do foreplay to him and show him how you want to be treated in bed. Make him want you instead of the other way around.
Go to a marriage counselor with him and if there's any underlying issues to preserve the marriage and come to a compromise, since you're willing to come on here and ask us when we don't even know him personally. The therapist can send him to a psychotherapist or sex therapist if need be, but find someone who specializes in sexual issues for both of you.
You could also try to find out if there's something physical or mental going on that makes him and his sister not interested, or maybe it's just their personalities if nothing happened to them when they were younger.
He could also be still wanting someone else (the other girl or someone he has not yet met) and you and she just did not do it for him chemistry wise. Ask him if he's IN LOVE and IN LUST with you.
2007-08-14 16:38:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be many different things...he may have been told all his life that sex is dirty, etc. Especially since his sister is also a virgin. Or, he may suffer from erectile dysfunction and is afraid or ashamed to tell you. Or, he may have been abused at some point in time in his childhood. Whatever his problem is, he needs help. And you're not trained to help him. From what you have written, my guess is he has been abused and is too ashamed to face it.
I would seriously consider counseling. While sex is not all of a marriage, it IS very important to be able to be intimate with your chosen mate. He surely knew before you married that you expected a normal sexual partnership?
If he is not willing to at least seek counseling, it may be time to ask him for a divorce. You didn't get the "package deal" with this man, and that in itself is deception.
If he IS gay, he needs to 'fess up to it and go on with his life. It's not right to deprive you of intimacy, especially if he's not willing to at least TRY to get help. And, he needs to be happy as well. What you have now is two miserable people. Life's too short for that.
Much luck to you! I hope you work it out.
2007-08-14 16:41:17 · answer #4 · answered by Barbi T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your husband has serious issues that need to be addressed in counseling.
I am not the type who thinks that counseling solves every problem, but this man seems to have a history of abnormal behavior. Its possible he is gay, its possible that his family taught him sex was bad, its possible that he is just not an good and giving lover. Whatever the problem is, its going to cause serious issues in the marriage unless it gets worked out. Since this seems to be a lifelong thing, a therapist is your best bet for a change for the better.
2007-08-14 16:15:49 · answer #5 · answered by Melanie J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't know about gay. sounds like he is very sexually inexperienced.
sounds like you need to be the dominating one. instead you get on top and take over.
from his comments about everything being nasty. sounds like he was told that sex was bad during childhood or the made a dirty thing. you two may need to seek professional help.
i never heard of a man sleeping in bed next to the deeduntatdunt, and not even be tempted to do something.
now the more i think about it, yeah he maybe gay
2007-08-14 16:16:57 · answer #6 · answered by karMA_DAME 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i don't think this is an indication that hes gay, i think he needs to be simply taught how to make love to a woman, have you ever tried telling him this, although on the same token it is weird how he doesn't want to give you foreplay and take his time with the intercourse, you really need to find out if he really loves you, if he does then he just badly needs some sex lessons and probably doesn't have complete control over his own mind and body yet and needs to learn how to do this.
2007-08-14 16:16:44 · answer #7 · answered by ARTY 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It could be so many things, apart from his being homosexual. Does he have a mental health issue? Is he on meds? This could interfere with his sex life. Has he been sexually abused? It's unfair to just judge him. It's up to you to explore with him, possibly with the assistance of a therapist. The best to you both..
2007-08-14 19:58:13 · answer #8 · answered by bahjij6 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's gay. Not too many heterosexual men would find anything about a naked lady as being nasty. Especially the one they supposedly love and marry.
2007-08-14 16:40:43 · answer #9 · answered by ricepat2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe he's still in love with her and that's why he's not getting it on with you. and the reason he probably never touched the other girl is because he liked her sooo much that he didn't want to offend her or make a wrong move. just a guess. i'm answering this totally different than the last one you posted...this is solely as if you just wrote the additional details part.
2007-08-14 16:18:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋