Should I believe him?

Question

I have been dating my bf for almost 2 years now. We're in an LDR, he's 5000 miles away (he's military) there have been times it's been rocky, but he says he's never cheated on me. He had a myspace page and there were girls on it i didnt know from home and from where he is now. There is one girl he's been friends with all his life, A. I never considered A an issue, she was engaged when we met, i never met her, but she'd drop him off at my house, one time i called her phone (he told me to) when they were out. Well on myspace she'd leave messages like, i love you, miss you, etc. It bugged me. He said, they are just friends, known each other since they were babies. I flew out to see him a month ago. A week ago on his myspace she called me a psycho stalker ***** and said i flew a long way to get laid. I was livid. I told him about it, he doesnt know y she'd say that. Myspace has caused us issues, so shortly after that he deleted the thing. I dont know if i should believe him

our RL has been off and on and he has been away for a while now. My guess is that he hasnt told her about us and she thinks we are FWB and flying all that way to see him for sex. I do remember one time he told me to call her phone (when he was home) i called, i expected him to answer, but she did so i hung up. I had called a few times...so yeah that might be why she's callng me psycho.

might i add that the RL was off in MY eyes, not his. He says he's never cheated on me.

i saw the message before he had seen it. To be honest i didnt think much of the i miss you, where are you's, are you alive? I think she only said i love you once and it was like, miss you, love you. I can see where friends would say that to each other since mine say it to me. I LOST it when she called me a psycho ***** though. She doesnt even KNOW me. He swears that he hasnt talked to her about me in ages, he said he hasnt even talked to her in ages. I believe that because of all the are u alives? i also looked at his cousins page (yeah maybe i am psycho) and she had writte, where is your cousin, did he find a new best friend in europe? (that's where he is) he is adamant that nothing happened with them, if anything did happen it would have been thsi past xmas, but i was there too...cant imagine he was with us both...agh.

Yeah clearly there are red flags hence the fact that i'm writing here. I just dont know if i should believe him. Seems that i am giving him the benefit of the doubt.

i'm sure he's enjoying the fact that she's jealous...but i know him better than all of you and i just dont think he'd be leading either of us on at this point. He's known her his whole life, their families are friends. I had an amazing time with him when i went out to see him. It was perfect, he tells me how much he loves me, wants to live with me when he comes home, marry me, have kids with me. I have given him a lot of **** about this, i'd think if there was something with her, he'd have given up on me at this point. and like i said, he cancelled the myspace and had NOT been in contact with her for months. My issue is why does she think i'm psycho..but i might know the answer to that.

Answer 1

Sounds like he's playing both of you!
guys love girls to fight over them
don't give him the satisfaction
DUMP HIM!!!

Answer 2

She's probably just jealous of your relationship with him, which is why she's calling you a psycho. If he got rid of his mypsace after she left that comment and he hasn't talked to her in awhile, I don't think you have anything to worry about.

One thing that raises a red flag though is how come she doesn't know that you're his girlfriend? Next time you're all in town together, you should insist that you all get together if he's gonna be friends. If she's such a good friend, he should want the two of you to meet. Play nice and see how she acts and how he acts. Then you'll know better. Good luck!

Answer 3

Generally I'm the first one to take a woman's side in these things but, I think he sounds like he deserves the benefit of the doubt. I have a myspace page and I get add requests from other women and it clearly states I'm a happily married woman. I wouldn't hold that against him, especially if he's deleted it because it was making you unhappy.

Answer 4

If there is no trust in your relationship then it's not much of a relationship then. Maybe to him she is only a friend but to her she her feelings might go beyond what he thinks.
He must be telling her things to make her talk bad about you unless she is trying to break the two of you apart.
But remember there are always two sides of a story. Two years is alot of time to just give up on your man if you really love him. But 5000 miles is also a long ways away.

Answer 5

Dont believe him, he is very involved with this girl--you dont use such loving talk as "i love you and miss you" when you are "just friends". She called you a stalker from her own sense of guilt---and good for him to delete Myspace, but i dont know if you can trust him. Decide what you can tolerate---if you must have trust, I would find someone else.

Answer 6

Yea..you do know the answer to that, and if they are only friends...best friends how come you haven't been introduced to her yet? I gotta tell you, if a female was dropping my man off...I'd have met her by now. You usually become aquainted with a guy's friends when he cares about you...men are just like us in that area, they want their friend's approval of their mate. Just the fact that you haven't been physically introduced yet is a red flag to me, but then again maybe he isn't messing around with her...maybe she said what she said cause she likes him?

Answer 7

Why are you checking his myspace page???
The most important thing in a relationship long distance or not is trust. If you don't trust what he is telling you is true its time to move on.

Answer 8

what i've always been told and it truly holds water, is that if it doesn't make sense, then it's probably not the truth. it doesn't make sense that she says these things about you without some provocation on his part - whether it's he doesnt' support you behind your back, or whether he's cheating, or whether he disses you as his girlfriend to these other girls. all i know is that if he was 100% into you without pause, these girls would have nothing to say to him. think about it....

Answer 9

Sounds like you don't have anything to really worry about, he seems to be taking your feelings into consideration. Now as for his friend, she may just be jealous of your relationship with him, so as far a she is concerned, I wouldn't worry to much about her either.

Answer 10

I see red flags all over the place.