I allow my man to brouse porn and often sit with him while he does so. But my Q, is, when does it become a problem? He does it 1 day to 2 weeks a month, depending on situations at hand. No big deal. But last night he broused so heavely that for 3 hours around dinner time he could not be talked to or interrupped. And then he went at it again at midnite till 2am.
Is this normal and is he just chillin or needing a new woman cause I am not good enough? He says it's cause work and kids get him stressed and that his one day or 2 weeks a month is nothing I should worry about. So do I have insecurities or do we need help? Thanks
2007-08-14 08:53:06 · 36 answers · asked by Patience Edmondson 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thanks all who answered. Some really hit home and have me reeling from concern. It's hard to put the whole thing on here, about whats going on. But I have come to the conclusion I see he/we need help. Yesterday it interfered with promises he made to the children and I. And I am a open person, wearing sexy things for him, and even exposing myself for him while he is doing this. He just ignores me at times. Or will come do something and then go right back brousing for hours. So it's a problem.
Thanks everyone.
2007-08-14 09:34:01 · update #1
WOW. Ok, there are lots of bad answers here. It's really ashame.
Do you masturbate? How often do you masturbate?.. Masturbation is a feel-good, beneficial, and completely normal act. Its most likely that he IS stressed from work, family, bills, etc and porn time is his time to unwind, calm down, and let one go.
It has nothing to do with you or you not being good enough. There is a significant amount of men out there who hide their porn because they are afraid that their wives are going to throw a fit about it. Really, Kudos to you for allowing your man to engaged in the healthy act and even sharing it with him. Know that if he needed or wanted a new woman, he WOULD be out finding one and not at home with you and looking at porn.
Because of our schedules and work, sex in my relationship is usually kept on the weekend and during the week we use porn and masturbation. That way no one's sleeping schedule is getting ruined for work, no one's cheating, and we're working out the day's stresses. Personally, my hormones are a little heavy on the testosterone side and I have a strong craving for sex. I've learned (as many, many others have) that delaying orgasm can make the final orgasm extremely strong and satisfying. I usually masturbate daily and will look at porn online for 1-3hours in the evening. Is it a lot of time? To some, yes. But for me, it doesn't interfere with my life and leads to amazing orgasms.
Even if you blow up and cause this to turn into a huge fight that ruins the relationship, the next guy that you get will still look at porn and masturbate; he just might be better at hiding it. Really, you're better off with the guy who is honest about it and doesn't hide things from you. At least you know where he is at, what he is doing, and that he's not doing it with anyone else.
If it is bothering you that badly, tell him about it. Let him know that you don't mind him looking at porn (make sure he knows that you don't want him to stop completely), but ask him if he can limit it to certain times where it would least interfere with you and the kids (like the late evenings or early mornings).
Make sure you don't let him replace your sex-life with his masturbation. Sometimes its easier to just masturbate than to have sex; put on some lingerie and get on all fours and remind him why sex is better than Ms. Palmer and her four daughters.
2007-08-14 16:16:31 · answer #1 · answered by .jess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-07-20 13:51:41 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I look at porn "heavily" when I am without a woman, but if i have a girlfriend i still do it. It's just a habit, and women have it too. People can become addicted and that twice a day incident sounds like what a teenager who just discovered porn would do.
He is a family man though, and if he is ditching you and the kids for porn I would call it a problem, or the begining of one. It shouldnt be such a heavy priority for him, he has other responsibilities. If his life is too much that he needs his own time to look at porn (i think it's cool to share though, id sit down with my girl and look at porn) then maybe you need to find someone who cares more about what's really happening in his life.
2007-08-14 09:00:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have times that i will look at it for hours but I get my fill of it and i don't view it again for 1 to 2 weeks and I have been this way for many years and have not gotten addicted to it . I don't know why or what gets a person addicted to it maybe not gettting the sex they really want but it sounds like he uses it for a relaxation and there is nothing wrong with that. If he did it every single day week after week then yes i would say he has a problem.
2007-08-15 18:00:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all I think saying that you "allow" you man to browse porn is an illusion. A grown man will do it whether you want him to or not. If you don't like it, he will find time to do it when you're not there to nag on him. I've never met a guy that didn't like an "adventurous" woman. If that is you....lure him away from the old porn sites with some real live nasty lovin. Get a kinky little outfit that he doesn't know about...and surprise him when you notice him on the computer. I'm willing to bet he wouldn't be sitting there very long. Good Luck!
2007-08-14 09:03:32 · answer #5 · answered by bulldogclover75 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some do get addicted to it like other things. The more he views the more he will want to view. A day or so is ok, but I would worry too if it went on for a few weeks at a time and not able to interrupt him for dinner. That is a good indication of an addiction. He may need to keep an eye on it before it consumes him and the marriage.
2007-08-14 08:58:39 · answer #6 · answered by mayihelpyou 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"if all those videos on youtube porn are free then how those pornstars make so much money and WHY are for free ?" They're not free- they're stolen, pirated content. "then how those pornstars make so much money" Pornstars don't make that much money. There used to be a Golden Age of porn, but given the amount of piracy nowadays, it just isn't as profitable a venture. "what about those amateur videos-do they still get paid for?" Depends; there are some companies that produce amateur videos and thus the people in the videos get paid for their performances or for sending in their content; for the most part, they are posted online for free by the people in them. "How is this porn industry online actually working-anybody knows?" I'm not sure what you're asking; it's working okay. People pay money to access content online.
2016-05-17 22:13:14 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women find this difficult to fully understand but men like porn.
It sounds like your man has been repressed for a long time and now that he has regular access to porn he's going over board with it. This might run it course but it could become a problem.
Don't feel insecure or like you're not good enough. His problem most likely isn't with you but with stress (being a family man is toughtest thing most men do). Porn like alcohol shouldn't be used as a daily stress relief.
Some of his behavior bothers you and you'll have to let him know that. Tell him that you'll be willing to allow him a certain amount of freedom within set boundaries. You and him are in a relationship so it's not about either you or him but the two of you together.
Spend some time with him in non-judgmental conversation. If he feels comfortable enough he might tell you what's on his mind and to of you can work this out.
2007-08-14 09:16:07 · answer #8 · answered by brianjames04 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's a tough one. Porn becomes a problem when it inturrupts the daily activities of life. If he's able to surf, but instantly leave it when he needs to do other things, it's no big deal. If not, it's something to worry about.
But, it's not YOU. I'm married to a beautiful woman, and I like porn. Basically, it's a chance for guys to not have to worry about pleasuring another person. It's very selfish and all about us. We don't worry about anyone else, and we enjoy the alone time. I never think about another woman in real life and I love sex with my wife. If it REALLY bothers you, talk to him, but otherwise, don't worry.
The day you NEVER check out another guy is the day his looking at porn is bad. He's just looking. We're visual.
2007-08-14 08:58:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound like it has anything to do with you so don't be insecure. But if it bothers you, you need to talk to him about it. There are many other things he could do to relieve the stress of kids and work. Talking to someone about his stress could be good and at the same time it might get at the reason why he feels like he has to spend hours looking up porn.
Start your own dialogue first, if that doesn't work seek professional help.
Good luck!
2007-08-14 09:01:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋