I am a white women and I just want to know what provokes him to do this. I've been pushed, slaped and even once kicked. I don't want to tell anyone because I know he really loves me.
In highschool we really hit it off. Then when we got married he suddenly changed.
One day one of my African American friends and I were talking and this came up. She is also married and she said she would never let her husband hit her. What gives her that kind of courage that I need?
2007-08-14 08:26:30 · 16 answers · asked by no name 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Being white doesn't have anything to do with it. All white women don't get hit, and all men don't hit, you just have a bad person for a husband. Get a little courage and a big iron skillet and let him have it!
2007-08-14 08:36:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
If he REALLY loved you he wouldn't hurt you. I don't think it has anything to do with color. I was in an abusive marriage. It primarily was emotional abuse, but there were a handful of physical times. I was a very strong minded and physically strong woman during my marriage and even more so afterwards. Sometimes things happen so fast that there is nothing you can do. After my divorce we were doing the kid swap and he flipped out and grabbed me by the arms and slammed me on the ground. There was nothing I could do. If they have hurt you once or twice it will more than likely continue....and also get worse. The courage you need is to get out with the situation...not to try and stop him from hurting you because that just won't happen. Good Luck!
2007-08-14 15:52:24 · answer #2 · answered by bulldogclover75 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband knows you're not gonna do anything about the beating cause you're submissive, afraid and have a low self-esteem. If you were a strong woman demanding respect and not putting up with any crap he would think twice before lifting his fist.
The only power people have over us is the one we give them.
oh ya....he doesn't love you. Get over that, it's an excuse you're using to not put an end to this abusive relationship.
2007-08-14 16:03:04 · answer #3 · answered by Jane Marple 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the fact that you screen name is "no name" is a clue into your self esteem. But really it doesn't matter how much courage you have....sometimes these types of men sneak through your barriers and wear you don't little by little. I was and still am, or at least working to get back to being a very strong woman. My X husband just wore me down little by little. If he even got wind of one little thing that I even so much as felt bad about he'd grab it and run with it, use it against me, hold it against me, whatever he could to make me feel bad, to make me cry, to make me hate. The more I hate the more power he gained over me....they're like the devil that way. Until I completely shut down one day. I had built up so much anger and hate to the point that I wanted to die. It was my low and I manipulated, blocked, withheld to get away, till I lost myself. But it was what I had to do to get out.
2007-08-14 15:56:04 · answer #4 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he doesn't love you, he CONTROLS you!! sorry to be so blunt, but it will NOT get any better, no matter how many times he tells you he'll stop or that he's sorry
didn't marry a beater, but married a drunk for 10 years that did the same thing!!
only YOU can decide when it 's time for you to go, but the sooner the better
btw, 'white women' don't 'let there husbands beat them'...and just because your african american friend's husband doesn't beat her, does NOT mean other races don't abuse their women!!!!!!
2007-08-14 15:47:29 · answer #5 · answered by SweetPandemonium 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Now, now let's not be color blind. It's not the color of the skin it's the all about dignity self respect and attitude.
You really need to stop and ask yourself why you'd let someone hurt you and then tell you he loves you? that's not love that's dominance and you are being submissive ( like sado- masochism).
So get on your big girl panties a new attitude and a couple of assertive classes under your belt!
You can do it, you must do it and you'll feel so proud when you stand up and say no more!!
2007-08-14 15:45:55 · answer #6 · answered by theladygeorge 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
oh, black women would not be having that crap. if they can't beat the guy up, they will get someone that can. that is why they're so courageous (as you called it). next time your man gets ill with you, don't sit there and cry like a little girl, call your older brother, or an ex boyfriend of yours that you're still friends with or a guy friend of yours. also, this guy didn't just come out and hit you...he's been breaking your self esteem down for a while. it started of verbal and when you stopped sticking up for yourself when you were verbally abused, he realized he could put his hands on you.
2007-08-14 15:38:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I never knew only white women go through this. Your evidence is you and your friend. That's how you got to this conclusion?????Perhaps you need to get more data
2007-08-14 17:45:44 · answer #8 · answered by Jessie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you dont want to tell anyone because you "know" he really loves you?!!!!
Good Lord - give me a break woman. You are unbelievable. So unbelievable in fact I am assuming you are a troll because a man who lays his hand on you - does NOT love you.
2007-08-14 15:41:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
call the cops no man should hit a woman
2007-08-14 16:44:08 · answer #10 · answered by hill bill y 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋