Would you be hurt if your husband didn't want to add you on his checking account?

Question

My husband has quite a lot of money. I have asked him to add me to his account, but he just laughs it off. I have added him to mine? How can I approach the subject without getting laughed at?

Answer 1

Hi Kelly,

I would be hurt! Very hurt! And nervous and suspicious. But that is just me. I would tell my husband in no uncertain terms that he is to add me as everything that is his is just as much yours. His money became joint marriage money the moment he said, "I do". You are entitled to know exactly what is going on with your finances.

Good luck. I am sure he is a good man, and has some silly reason for avoiding this - but he has no right to do so.

Answer 2

ineffective after basically a 12 months looks like a quick time. i don't be attentive to what the placement is between you 2 (the type you met, why you're married already, etc.), even though it incredibly is going to take him plenty longer than a 12 months to recover from his final spouse or perhaps to pass previous her dying. do no longer rush him or he will merely finally end up resenting you. After coming returned and analyzing your added info, I nonetheless do no longer think of everybody is at fault right here. it incredibly is unrealistic to anticipate your husband to handle you as in case you're his first spouse because of the fact the reality is that he did have a spouse till now you. He won't have been interior the terrific state emotionally while he met you and proposed to you, yet now which you're already married the only element you're able to do is see him by way of this era. You needless to say married him because you have been in love with him. do no longer fault him for grieving. Be honest with your self. in case you do no longer think of you may positioned up with each little thing you have discovered because marrying him, then do the two one in each of you a desire and get out of it.

Answer 3

Frankly, I would be hurt if that happened to me. I would want to know why and would not be satisfied until he gave me a legitimate answer. Does he think you're frivolous with money? Is it an issue of keeping some things independent? If my husband felt I couldn't be on his account, I would have to have an account of my own as well without him on it.

Answer 4

I agree that things like financial arrangements should be addressed and discussed before you get married. There's nothing wrong with having separate finances, but it is something both people need to discuss - coming to an arrangement that satisfies both of them. My husband and I talked about our finances shortly after we moved in together (about a year before we got engaged). I was the one in favor of keeping finances separately (I got really screwed financially in my last marriage), but he made the case for having joint finances, and after thinking about it I agreed it made sense.

Ask your husband to discuss your financial arrangement. How do you pay your bills? Do you have a joint account from which your joint bills are paid? He might not want to have joint finances, and there's nothing you can do to "make" him do things the way you want them to be - but at least you can work out an agreement that makes both of you happy, like contributing money to a joint account to pay the bills as well as to a joint savings account, but also having your separate accounts at the same time.

Answer 5

This is something you should have discussed before getting married. Since you waited, however, you have to force him to have a serious discussion with you. If he laughs, say, with a straight face, "This is serious to me, and I do not appreciate your laughter." Ask him specifically what his concerns are, and address them honestly and openly. Finally, make an appointment for the two of you to go to the local branch of his bank so you can be added, and then follow through.

Answer 6

I didn't and I wouldn't add someone to my accout. I didn't and wouldn't want to be on theirs. Get a joint account and use it for the household. You maintain your account and he maintains his.

I didn't have quite a lot of money, but I wanted to have it and know how much I had. That is very hard to do if someone else can take it out.

Answer 7

First of all, this should have been discussed BEFORE the wedding. Secondly, when you're a couple, what's his is yours and vice versa. Perhaps some counseling might be in order, since your husband doesn't appear to comprehend the idea of a marriage partnership.

Answer 8

I'd ask him why? I'll never care to join my income with another person for as long as I live...but I've been burned in the past. I say create a joint acct for household stuff, and still maintain your own individual accts. But this is something that I will discuss should I ever find myself co-habitatiing another ever again.

Answer 9

Miss Kelly, Remind him of your wedding vows, two becomes one flesh ! Hon my older sisters and their husbands all have seperate accounts too. I just don"t get it. I am 47 and divorced and my x left me with a bunch of debt, If I do get married again I would still be wide open financially and emotionaly ! Money will not be my God !

Answer 10

Marriage is 50/50.. well.. suppose to be. I would be highly ticked off if my husband did that to me.. but remember: He will do to you what you LET him do to you. If he knows it is irritating the heck out of you.. he is going to laugh in your face everytime you mention it. I would take him off of your account and leave the bills to him since he thinks it's so funny.