would it be wrong for me to have the feeling of wanting to move out of state . I'm separated from my wife,we have two beautiful children which i see everyday, and have them everyother weekend. would it be wrong and selfish to do so, just for nice job
2007-08-14 07:00:08 · 27 answers · asked by viking_chef53 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, I think it would be pretty selfish. You have to ask yourself, do you want to be a father to your children or not?
2007-08-14 07:03:03 · answer #1 · answered by leaptad 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would depend on how far "out of state" is. If it is the next state over and you would only be increasing your drive time by an hour or two then it would be good for you. But all the way across the country or even so far that you would not see your children but twice a year that would be wrong. You are a father first. Who is to say the job would be to your liking after you went and moved away(hurting your children and yourself in the process)
2007-08-14 07:10:12 · answer #2 · answered by Laura J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, harsh audience out there. First thing to consider, how far away and how much freedom will this new job provide? will you be able to keep close enough visits and/or correspondence via email, telephone, etc, 2nd-have you considered your contribution towards the children (quality and quantity of time that their age requires of a parent) a 3 year old has different needs than say a 13 year old. 3rd - how is your relationship with the mother? is it effecting the children in a positive or negative manner? If your children are observing an unhealthy interaction (name calling, blaming, etc) some distance may assist an ugly experience into a cooperative, friendly and equitable experience for all. Most important - your children will learn from the experiences you choose. Do you teach them that it is better to make choices based on someone else's wishes and suffer the consequences or to choose to live your life by your own standards, and yes, that includes sometimes making mistakes and doing the best you can with what you know, but it also shows how one can be true to themselves and take ownership for decisions not excuses for blame. In the long run, I want my children to be true to themselves, to recognize the difference and to execute their life with an open and aware heart. Children are smart and they will eventually be making these kinds of decisions for themselves.
2007-08-14 07:24:38 · answer #3 · answered by franked ulsee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you move out of state then you wont be able to see your kids as often as you do now! I know you dont want to do that. Sounds like you are involved in your kids life. Cant you find a nice job close by it doesnt have to be in the same town but just a few hours away. Then you can see you kids during the weekends.
Good Luck
2007-08-14 07:23:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's certainly selfish. How would you feel about your kids (and them about you) if you only saw them about 20 days a YEAR?
And the increase in salary on the nice job would probably get eaten up in travel expenses.
If you really love your children and don't want to subject them to really long travel times, keep everyone close by.
If it's really a huge career thing for you, maybe move the whole family. (you are separated, not divorced yet, are you?)
2007-08-14 07:04:21 · answer #5 · answered by voxwoman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it is only a few states away and seeing your kids is still a option even if once a month then no its not selfish.
If you will never see your kids accept on holidays then that will be really traumatizing to them. Unless its a sh!t load of money that Will allow you to visit your kids then don't do it. You are dealing with the future in these kids. Be the best dad you can.
2007-08-14 07:05:36 · answer #6 · answered by J Bird 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no that is not selfish. Both you and the mother can make provisions for the children to visit you. Meeting half way between the two homes. Also, consider having the children spend summers with you.
2007-08-14 07:05:20 · answer #7 · answered by Lov'n IT! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-02 07:49:14 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Weigh your options and think about your priorities. You may move and have a great job, but think about how that will change your relationship with your children. Will you see them very often? I know that even though my father didn't move, he got remarried and spent less and less and even less time with us as we were in our teen years. He had his own life and his own agenda. Now he wishes he had put his children first and he can't get those years back. It's your decision, but think about your children too.
2007-08-14 07:05:28 · answer #9 · answered by SJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it depends on how you look at it. You just have to ask yourself one question. Would I rather have the money or spend the time with my kids? Me personally, I would rather have the time with my children. You can find a job anywhere.
2007-08-14 07:17:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋