I'm 16, my fiance is 21, can we get an apartment together?

Question

We're in Virginia. I do have permission from my mother to live with him. Can we get an apartment together? If so how can we go about it? (He's military if that matters)

It's spelled pedophile, not "petifile" or the few other misspellings I've seen so far. (Please, if you want to insult him, at least spell the word properly!) I'm 16. Not 6. If anything he would be a ephebophile.

I'm asking for real answers. Not "You're too young". I know I'm young, and I know a lot of you will disagree with it, but that's not what I'm asking. I'm asking if we can get an apartment together. Please leave it at that.

It's legal for us to have sex in Maryland wehre we're both from, and the UMJC says 16. I have finished high school (I graduated at 15) and I'm starting college this winter semester.

Please. I'd like actual answers to my question. So far I'm getting that he'd have to sign the lease himself, without me? I'm fine with that, but I just need to know exactly what to do.


Oh, and I'm not gay. I'm using a (male) friend's account.

Answer 1

If he's military that definitely matters because the military will not tolerate any time of fraternization with a minor because they can use military judicial action against him which in turn could cause him to lose rank and money or both. You need to think about this before you harm your fiance military career. Enjoy.

Answer 2

The only way this could ever happen is by your parents permission & come on finish high school & go on to college . If u think that u have all of it planned out think again. First off do u expect him to pay all of tyhe bills like the light, gas, groceries, electricity, rent, phone. Also if you decide to go to college which I hope u do there's lab, tuition, books to pay for. Now that's another bunch of money Ask your mom how much is all of that. Once u r married forget about going out friday & Saterday nights you'll be struggaling going to school & a job cuz he would probably want u too help with the bills. I know this cuz my fiance wants & expects that of me & I'm 23. See u r young u should enjoy yuor life more & so should he. He should finish college too (If he's not done) & if he dose love u he should wait 4 u to find a career u want & get it then get engaged. Another thing is children. If u thought that maybe I'll go to college when my children start school cuz it sounds easy well u r definatly wrong on that.Children are also expensive & Imagine comming home from work kids come through the door as soon as u begin to study your man isn't home yet & 1 says mom I want u to play with me & the other says I'm hungry have to put everything down. Once u think that's setteled your hubby enters the door & u have to set dinner, wash the dishes, do the laundry, clean the bedrooms & so on. Now u have to put the kids to bed after u bathed them. Sure u may say my husband can help but what if he comes home late from work & he's so tierd he hits the bed. U r on your own. So think about it do u want the begining of that or do u want to explore more of life before one day u look at your life & wish you did have more fun with your friens & had a longer social life or do u really want to grow up really really fast.

Answer 3

Has your fiance read anything from the Military Code of Justice? You are not going to be able to get on the lease of the apt until you are either married or turn 18. The reason is that you cannot be held legally responsible for paying rent or for damages until you are considered an adult.

Are you in school?

Law in Virgina states legal age to consent is 18

A person 18 and older having sex with a 13- or 14-year-old faces a felony
charge, which carries a punishment of two to 10 years in prison and up to a
$100,000 fine. A person 18 and older having sex with someone age 15, 16 or 17
faces a misdemeanor, punishable by up to one year in jail and a $2,500 fine.

Also, not wanting to insult you intelligence, but your fiance would be considered an ephebophile, if he were only attracted to underage children. For you sake I hope that is not the case.

Answer 4

OK, first of all the UCMJ does not say 16 years old is acceptable. It does not matter if your mom says it is alright, if someone from the state were to find out, the state attorney could bring charges against your boyfriend. He then would face civil charges as well as a likely court marshall. To answer your question, it depends on what the application asks for. Since you are a minor, you cant sign a lease yourself. You would just be listed as a resident of the apartment.

Answer 5

My parents got married at that age (but dad was 22) And they got a divorce. I saw them grow apart, cause my mom who was young, grew up while in the relationship. Priorities change when you get older. Please think about this some more. Why not wait till you are 18?

Very ironic, that my father was in the military also. This is not a easy life either. You will have to move around alot. He will have to leave you behind sometimes. And if you have kids, they have to go to new schools, and find new friends all the time. Not a life for everyone. Think about what kind of life you want to have. Good luck.

Answer 6

James, James, James. You are only 16 and your 21 year old military "fiance" has no business being with a child -- that makes him a pedophile and possibly guilty of statutory rape (if you are sleeping with him) depending on the laws of your state.

You need to finish school. He needs to concentrate on his military service, including the possibility that he might be shipped out overseas.

I'm assuming you are gay (not that there's anything wrong with that), and this adds an extra dimension of complexity to the whole scenario, including added stress for a military man that he probably doesn't need. Please rethink this. If it's meant to be, it will be -- after you finish school. It's only another 2-3 years.

ADDITION: The fact that you even know what an ephebophile is tells me that your relationship is on the WRONG track. You may be post-pubescent but your "education" has taken you way off base. Forget sex with the 21 year old and concentrate on your school work. All it will take is one phone call to the Armed Forces branch your "fiance" serves, and he will be thrown in the stockades for conduct unbecoming a soldier, contributing to the delinquency of a minor, and whatever other charges they can come up with. Then there will be no apartment, no sex, and no way for you to earn a living except out on the street!

Answer 7

I do think it is a bit weird, but I have heard much worse- to everyone else-
He can sign the lease because he is over 18... You can think of it like- if there is a single dad with a daughter- that is the closest thing I can think of to tell you that you can do it- especially if you have permission from your parents.
Know that (if you are in school) you will have to either live close to your mom so she can sign school papers, or you can go to court and do a bunch of paperwork so you become an adult in the eye of the law, then you can sign as an 18 year old- eve though you are still underage.....
GOOD LUCK and congrats!

Answer 8

No. go home and finish school.You will only be able to get military housing if he's married and he doesn't make enough money in the military for an apt. you'll have to get a job then and forget about school. or dating or going out with your girlfriends and shopping. No more will you enjoy the pleasures of being 16 because after being thrown into adulthood you'll have only one worry, BILLS,BILLS,BILLS and how you are going to pay for them and food and clothes and housing.?
Go home and get a grant for College through the lottery, get a job to help your schooling then have a life that is better than you would otherwise. Otherwise, play house like I know you'll do anyway, then regret it in 16 years when your a grandmother at age 32

Answer 9

You are not of legal age to sign a contract until you are 18. With your parents permission you could live there with him (if the apartment complex has no issues with him having you there) but you cannot legally be on the rental agreement.

If you are that independent you should go to court and have yourself legally emacipated. It is just a quick court hearing that shows the court you are capable of taking care of yourself financially and can live independently. Once you do that you can enter into a legal contract.

Answer 10

Him being military does matter, I think. Might want to check the UCMJ on what constitutes child molestation as state laws are superceded by UCMJ.

Even if you have permission...which in my opinion means you MOM doesn't care enough to actually raise you, the military may not approve and can actually throw him in the brig, stockade etc. as well as dishonorably discharge him. He should have a copy or at least have access to the uniform Code of Military Justice.

Answer 11

I'd wait till you're 18 and finish high school. The chances of this relationship lasting that long are well under 50%. BTW, he can be arrested for stat. rape. And why is he even with a minor in the first place ? He can even get in trouble with the military !