Do you like my poem../?

Question

Once again, I'm sitting here
Tapping on the keys
I've put the chicken in the pan
Mixed veg? Or will it be peas?

A glass of wine or maybe two
Who knows, let's wait and see
It's dinner time in my house
Boring, or is it just me?

Answer 1

A lovely poem

Answer 2

I liked the poem quite a bit actually, but the "veg?" line doesn't work on several levels. What about, "Mixed veggies or just peas?" Also, "a glass of wine..." why not tell us what kind of wine...how about "A glass of Chardonney or two"? it has the same beats and is a little more personal...you could have done the same thing with the chicken if you'd care to: "A rosemary chicken in the pan" or, if you wanted to show a lack of refinement, "a bar-b-que chicken in the pan"...something that tells us more about you and how you spend your boring time. See my point?

nice poem though

Answer 3

You could teach Pam Ayres a thing or 2

Answer 4

I really like it, it's the sort of modern poetry I can deal with. You can practically smell the deeper message. However, the last line doesn't fit yet, maybe you should think about changing it a little, or think of a new one.

Answer 5

It certainly echoes the monotony of life. Go do something exciting! Live a little and you'll come up with some fantastic poetry.

Answer 6

That is ...... the most moving thing I ever read. It must be all that olde english literature. Have one myself inspired by you
''I fell into the hedge
Having eaten mixed veg
it was only the wine
Mixed with the thyme
That put me over the edge''

Answer 7

Nice.

Answer 8

Nice little limerick. Well done.

Answer 9

You are correct it is Boring and so are you

Answer 10

I like it! very true! hehe! =]