M 35, cud not get married due to the carelessness of my parents, now they r bringing proposals that does not suit me at all. Everybody says that one has to compromise in life but to wat extent one shud....in looks, in qualification ...in habits like drinking.....or in other unrevealed facts. They will just get rid of me...but how will I get rid of life, if it becomes hell with such compromises? Pl help...I am numb coz this man is not my choice..just to go out of my existing hell...I may take a decision, but I dont want another hell hereafter, I dont want to regret any of my decisions...either Yes/No.
2007-08-14 05:35:44 · 26 answers · asked by Leena 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Never be afraid to believe that you can have what you want and deserve; the minute you settle for less, you get even less than you settled for!
Does he qualify to be in a relationship with you? Be honest with yourself. It's time to take a careful look at those who are around you and ask yourself a hard question "Do they qualify"?
Finding yourself in the wrong relationships (courtship, friendships, jobs,) can be frustrating. You tell yourself, "This is the one. This is what I have been looking for!" only to be painfully disappointed. (you've already said he's not the one)
It's time to pre-qualify your relationships and guard your heart against unnecessary pain. Life is too precious to be spent on guesswork!
Who's around you?
Do those around you know who you are and what's in your heart? Do they have what it takes to prepare or bring it out? Did you choose them or did they choose you?
Surround yourself with people who see the real you, despite your present situation and support you in becoming your best.
The right one will: push, challenge, encourage, support and direct you towards destiny. God will give words of direction for your life through them that will refine your life to make you more productive. Every relationship that God selects for you will bring you closer to Him, not pull you away. Let that be your decision in choosing......
2007-08-14 05:47:56 · answer #1 · answered by paytaymak 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By age 35 one should realize the fact that no one except you bears the responsibility or accepts the blame for inequities in your life but you. You can marry whomever you like or find compelling enough to be your spouse, but when you characterize a man as "underqualified", it implies that you are currently too arrogant to seriously entertain the notion of marriage, and as such it is you, not him, who is underqualified. I realize this seems a harsh indictment, but I don't know you, so I have no vested interest in being proven right in this regard...I just offer this as food for thought so that you may make informed decisions before entering into legally binding arrangements for which you may not be fully ready.
2007-08-14 05:49:55 · answer #2 · answered by Captain S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
never underestimate love, love is something which to do this day cannot be defined to a single definition which can be applied to every single human being. In my life beauty plays no importance, well outer beauty. i think everyone is beautiful in their own way and if one did suppose thier spouse was ugly etc then love would be far off their agenda LOl Inshallah we all have a spouse/spouses who love us for who we are and not for what we look like. I guess i never really look at people like dat, or maybe haven't developed that instinct as i am way too young or maybe just a lil more intelligent than sum! LOOl Though i have to say if a person is 'ugly' because they keep no personal hygiene then they would be a big no no!! since purity is given much importance in islam.
2016-05-17 10:58:19 · answer #3 · answered by fern 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't marry someone who you don't like or love. Only you know what is a compromise you can't take. I could not marry Some who drinks regardless of how educated or good looking they are. Your parents can't force you to marry anyone you dislike because it will be worst if you divorce and have wasted their money on a wedding you told them you did not want. I saw this happen with one family.
I don't know if you are be a drama queen or truthful
" They will just get rid of me..." becareful you are on the public internet and sound like they will kill you.
Get a job and some money and move out and arrange your own marriage. Look for someone who is a nice guy who is good natured. They do excite.
2007-08-14 05:49:40 · answer #4 · answered by jewelsthomas 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to cut the cord between you and your parents and go out and make a life on your own and if and when you find a man you can love and want to share the rest of your life with get married. These arranged marriages are sick in my opinion..
2007-08-14 05:47:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has a way of life you don't agree with, such as the drinking, then it's not going to work. Nope. Pass on this one. There are certain qualities you should NOT compromise on. Stick to what you want.
2007-08-14 05:41:33 · answer #6 · answered by casw1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go where your heart takes you or you could be dis contended for the rest of your life. You may marry a person who has a lesser qualification but certainly not someone you dint want to.Under qualification could just be an excuse.
2007-08-14 05:43:07 · answer #7 · answered by capricious_me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, you have a choice! You DON'T have to marry a man just because your parents say so! And what do you mean they will just "get rid of" you? You should just leave and make a way for yourself with God's help. You are not worthless! Do you know how valuable you are in God's eyes? Ask God to help you and He will hear you and rescue you!
2007-08-14 05:49:27 · answer #8 · answered by Lydia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you ever hear the saying..... trust your gut?
trust yourself and do what your guts tells you no matter what you mom, dad , and rest of the family thinks no offense but life is to short not to be happy and to live the life somone else whats you to live instead of living the life you want.
It helps to be independent ( like have your own place) responsible and pay all of your own bills, school then no one can tell you who to marry and when. If you don't make plans of your own you will fit into someone else's plan. Good Luck.
2007-08-14 05:46:27 · answer #9 · answered by Thebronx 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go out of your parents house and BE on your own. They do not own you. They obviously want you to go and get your own home, your own wife and your own life.
You do not have to have an arranged marriage. Many billions of people all over the planet find their own love and marry whom they will. You can do the same. Go out into the world, be good, and live!
2007-08-14 05:46:47 · answer #10 · answered by Winnie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋