I have been married for almost 4 years now, my husband has cheated on me in the past and I found out about it, He has promised never to do it again but I am still scared he will. How do I let go of the pain he caused me? How do I regain trust in him?
2007-08-14 05:34:25 · 11 answers · asked by agonynextacy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Trust is something that builds up over time. It is up to him to make every effort to regain your trust. How long or if it will ever be there again is entirely up to you. Living a life of fear and resentment is no way to live. Fear takes up to much negative energy. I hope that you will find it inside you to let go of the fear, for your sake not his. Know that in your mind him cheating on you is not the end of the world. You can and will survive without him if you need to. Don't let his cheating control your mind. It will never work if you do.
2007-08-14 05:43:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some people CAN overcome this awful experience and "forgive and forget"...BUT some just cannot!
Try going to therapy or to church by yourself and see if you can deal with your feelings and issues. Trust is a very delicate thing, and once it's broken it can never be fully repaired...! It is a basic ingredient in a marriage, IMO, so if you feel scared -rightly so- then perhaps you need to sort out if you love him enough so you can try to overcome this. But if you cannot do this, then consider a separation or a divorce...and move on with your life.
No one deserves to be cheated on, and it is terribly painful to go thru such an experience. But cheaters have deeply-rooted issues that they cannot or will not deal with- and that is what makes them cheat. (That is why people say that cheaters never change- it's hard for them to stop because it's a part of who they are.) Good luck!
2007-08-14 12:58:34 · answer #2 · answered by Nena S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only answer to this is time. If he proves himself trustworthy in time the pain will begin to subside, I will however tell you that you will never ever forget what he has done and he too needs to realize that what he has done though he may have been forgiven it will never be forgotten. So due to his betrayal he must agree to mind his behavior from this point on, even when he is innocent you may ask him for reassurance until the trust is regained.
2007-08-14 12:46:08 · answer #3 · answered by 20+ years and still in-love! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By slamming the door on him leaving. Myself 1 time your gone> You have no trust in him he has no respect in you whats left. Diseases.Your asking for a quick fix for betrayal there isn't 1. If you forgive than you will never forget??There are nice people out there with out the drama??
2007-08-14 13:05:51 · answer #4 · answered by 45 auto 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has to prove to you that he loves you and will not even think of doing this ever again. The fact that he did this already leaves the door open for him to do again because it seams to get easier for them. Make him aware that you know everything that he does even when away at work. ( you may not know) he won't know if your spying on him or what, just tell him that YOU KNOW EVERYTHING... he was so good at bluffing you, he may not ever do anything again.
Try spending more time together doing things.. outings and such...
2007-08-14 12:51:34 · answer #5 · answered by Hi its me again 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TIME and PATIENCE. i know its hard but if you want to make it work just try to not think of it and dont let that be in your head all the time b/c it will just get worse. and try to find out why he did that what was the reason for him doing that? if you really love him youll give him some trust now and gradually improve it
2007-08-14 13:01:48 · answer #6 · answered by TTC #2 Baby Dust MEEE! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's virtually impossible, he's going to cheat on you again if he has already cheated more then once, why not get some self-esteem and start looking at the situation for what it is not what you hoped it would be. he's a cheater!!!!!!!!!!
2007-08-14 12:45:07 · answer #7 · answered by Steven's Mommy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't get over it.. you either live with it or move on.. cheatng is something no one really gets over.. and if they say they do there lying.. so you either reconize it was a complete mistake and that he loves you and you know he won't ever do it again. and know you'll have to live with that lack of trust for the rest of you life or move on.. my husband did it to me before i married him..just once. and he knows that in order to be with me the rest of his life hes going to have to deal with my lack of trust in him for the rest of our life. he's willing to do that as long as i don't take it to far.. good luck. i hope you make the best decision for you..
2007-08-14 12:47:14 · answer #8 · answered by momma/2 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say once a cheater, always a cheater.
2007-08-14 12:43:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him. He is not worth it.
2007-08-14 12:47:58 · answer #10 · answered by angrywm14 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋