Young, first time mom needs help?

Question

I have cared for children since I have been about 12 years old when my first neice was born. So I've been really great with diciplining older children but I am so confused with my 6 month old! When I sit him down for floor time he gets so angry! He will sit on the floor and I will lay next to him and encourage him so he's not alone but he just does not enjoy this at all. I feel like he is spoiled already. I started trying this...after about five minutes of him loosing his temper I lay him in his crib and let him cry for about ten minutes and then get him back to play again if he has not cried himself to sleep...am I doing the right thing? Is he spoiled by me and my family? I don't want to get into bad habits as he is young, cuz I know how bad it can get as I worked in day care for years!

Maybe some of you read this wrong but I am not mad at my child at all and I do give him toys to play with and I play with him but he is just not happy with that. I was just asking the question to make sure I was doing all I can.

Answer 1

It is good not to give in to your son's temper tantrums, giving a time-out to 2-3 years olds is acceptable, a 6 month old is too young.
Your son throws tantrums because he is frustrated, the one thing he enjoys the most, that makes him feel safe and content, is being held, he can't understand why you're not holding him, so he gets angry. Closing him off from you will make him feel worse, feel insecure and possibly lead to psychological problems.
When you lay him on the floor, play with him...make faces, sing songs, pick him up and dance around a little bit and lay him back down, laugh, act goofy...he will learn that it is play time and stop throwing tantrums. Play with toys that beep, chirp, play music, etc. with him, he will find it fun and interesting, and will eventually become comfortable to just see you in the room and learn to play with his toys by himself.

Answer 2

As a mother of 3, and very soon to be 4, the best advice I can give you in everything that you do with your child is to be consistent and have the willpower to not give in no matter what. It sounds to me like your 6 month old may be a tiny bit spoiled and maybe likes to be held all the time because you and your family have probably held him a lot, escpecially if he is your first. From this day on if you make a consistent schedule of when you feed him, put him to bed, play with him ect.... you have a great chance of making sure he does not grow up to be a tyrant. The hardest part is not giving in or giving up. Sometimes it feels easier to give up, but you have to keep the will power to be able to do this for your own sanity. As far as your current situation you just need to find toys, or other fun activites that he can do while he is sitting on the floor. try some music as well. Also he is still very young so I would not worry to much about certain things right now, but it is never to earlier to introduce a consistent schedule to your child. I promise it will save your life!

Answer 3

My 10 month old had a really difficult time wanting to have "tummy time" or "floor play" and I was really stressed about it because of all the stress the doctors put on these things.

She had this trouble from the time that she was about 4 or 5 months old. I just kept working on it, and doing things very similar to what you are doing, except after a few minutes of me playing with her, I would back away and let her try by herself. If she cried for too long, I would put her in her bed and let her cry for alittle while and try again. We just worked on it and now, at 10 months, she plays on the floor with her toys...she loves to dump the basket of toys out and them put them back in the basket!

Keep up the good work...I think you are doing wonderful job!

By the way...I believe a child cannot be spoiled by love! I mean if it goes too far like buying a ton of material things...but just by holding, hugging, and loving, there is never too much of that!

Answer 4

Hi Young Mom,

I will start by saying that I am an old mom with a two year old son. I did not have a great deal of personal experience with babies until I had my two year old. However I have educated myself and I do have professional experience in working with children. My opinion is that you have not spoiled your child at six months. No amount of love and attention is too much at this age. Every child has a different temperment. As mom you will have to simply be calm and continue to try a variety of different activities, games and books with your child. You will discover what makes her laugh, what holds her attention and interest and what she enjoys doing and how she likes to play. Finally, I would discourage leaving her to cry alone for any period of time. You may want to delay switching to a different methods of soothing her for about five minutes before trying something else.

Pray for inner peace as you go through
Val

Answer 5

A baby that young doesn't know how to be spoiled. I wouldn't try to fix this problem about playing on the floor just yet. a six month old doesn't need discipline. use your swing or chair when you need to put him on his own to play. He wont turn into a bad child because he's not doing what you want right now, he is only 6 months old, he is not trying to be defiant. I feel for you, because I know how hard a demanding baby can be, but try other things to calm him and get him to play on his own. Good luck, I'm sure you'll figure this one out with a little patience.

Answer 6

He does sound spoiled. My first daughter was like that and she is a horribly behaved 2 year old now. She has an awful attitude and doesn't listen. She's sweet to everyone but me. I didn't make the same mistake with my 2nd. She is 6 months old and she loves playing on the floor and she is so happy all the time. I didn't spoil her like I did the first and I wouldn't let the family either. Try to correct it now, but it could be too late. It sounds like you are doing what you have to do, though.

Answer 7

A few suggestions: sit him on carpet, not tile. Tile can be very cold and uncomfortable. While he is on the floor, sit in a chair next to him and interact. Continue to move the chair away from him and look away and then...do a "peek-a-boo" type game. He will realize that you have not left him alone. By 10 or so days, your chair should be all the way across the room and he will know that while you are not next to him...you are still there for him. I enjoyed a book called Babywise by Gary Ezzo. I am now onto Babywise Book Two. I strongly encourage you to read both. Take it easy on yourself, maybe your little one is teething and needs his mommy.

Answer 8

Lots of babies this age just want to be held and are very clingy. Try giving him stimulating toys with lots of color and sound to play with while on the floor. About putting him in his crib, if you are doing this as a sort of "time out" punishment for him, he won't understand that. If you are doing that because you are frustrated and upset and YOU need a time out that's ok, it's better than getting mad at the baby because he is just way too young to understand what you want.

Answer 9

please don't let the baby cry himself to sleep...a baby cannot be spoiled. and no one can be spoiled by being loved too much. there's no such thing as too much love. people are spoiled by having too many things, not knowing the value of a dollar, always getting what they want. your baby is crying because he NEEDS you. you won't spoil him by going to him and letting him know your there to comfort him. babies do not know how to manipulate you. that is a learned behavior when children are MUCH older.

my dd didn't like tummy time either. she preferred me to hold her and play with her sitting on my lap. this of course was not always possible. so i bought a sling. we both enjoyed the closeness. i carried her while doing my house work, shopping, going for a walk. i rarely used the stroller. check out http://wallababy.com or http://mayawrap.com
when we did tummy time, we started out slow. just a few minutes here and there. she eventually started to enjoy it. she is now so independant. she likes to go off and "explore" she'll want me to let her down, and she'll walk off somewhere and come back with something she's found and show it to me so proudly. sometimes she'll take my hand and walk me over with her to where she's playing. but usually, she just wanders somewhere and makes a new toy and i must watch from a distance, lol.

just listen and let the baby guide you.

Answer 10

All children are just so different. With my first I would let her cry for about 15 minutes and she would fall asleep. But now that I have my second I find it very hard to let her cry for even 5 minutes. So I understand where you are coming from. She is actually crying it out as I type. It is so sad. But I do think it is for the best. My two year old will go to sleep when I tell her to now, unless of course she isn't tired at all. Parenting is hard as you know. It is important to help our children to learn on there own. This means letting them figure out how to fall asleep on there own. Good luck, I'm sad sitting here letting mine cry. Gotta Go.