my wife says instantly she feels numb and needs space.we have had eachother for 7yrs.is she cheating?

Question

everything was great and all of a sudden she has change.She says she feels numb and don't know what she wants and don't wanna hurt me but she needs space.I dunno know why this is a sudden thing and i thought that things was going good not great but good enough that she wont want this.im heart broke and i think that there is somebody else at work maybe she wants that old feeling like you used to have back in high school i dont know but somebody help me,,we have 2 kids also i cant live without my kids and her...is she cheating what do i do what can i say..im lost

Answer 1

It sounds like she is maybe having an "emotional affair" with someone she comes in contact with on a regular basis. Get you both to a marriage counselor before this goes on any longer. Do you help her with home chores or are you a barcolounger? When was the last time you snuck up behind her while she was doing the dishes hugged her and told her how much you appreciate everything she has done to make your life everything you wanted? This other person makes her feel special and you need to make her feel more special.

Answer 2

If any of your children are recently born she may be suffering from Post Partem Depression. Also, if you married young, she may be depressed about never getting a chance to be young. If she was a mom right away and a wife right away she could be a little depressed. i wouldn't automatically assume she's cheating. Maybe she needs a little romance and less of the rut. Try offering to watch the kids so she can take times to take baths, go shopping for some new clothes. Maybe an out of town visit with family would help. Just be supportive and tell her that whatever she decides you love her and the kids and being a family and you will do whatever she needs to make herself whole.

Good luck.

Answer 3

First off you don't know if she's cheating! You need to ask her! and go from there on this one! Second off you can live without her and the children and if it comes to that you will adjust and be fine! Life may even be better. I think she is just tired of you not listening to her or working on the issues you two have already dicussed that you said you'd fix but didn't. You have forgotten these things now and didn't take them serious b/c you didn't think they were big issues but now she has reached a point that she is now giving up and she just doesn't care she wants to be heard loved and winned and dinned. You won't give in on these issues or even care to stick to these things that mean so much to her. So what is there left for her to do?

Answer 4

^ except when it does. seriously, who would quote this verse as an answer to this question? it's obvious that the questioner loves his wife, and that love will not fail, but it is also obvious that hers IS failing. that's why she feels the way she does.

to the questioner: i'd suggest that you speak with your wife, talk to her about what she feels is missing in your life, suggest maybe a romantic getaway for a weekend, leave the kids with your parents, or some other trusted adult, and get a chance to rekindle the relationship. if she's saying she needs space, it means she feels trapped with you and the kids, and all of the responsibilities of adulthood. take some time to get away from all those pressures and rediscover why you two fell in love in the first place. that will get things back on the right foot.

Answer 5

Poison Ivy is right, this didn't just pop up over night. You took the marriage/relationship for granted. She's been unhappy for quite sometime now. Too bad, you weren't thoughtful enough to ask her simple questions like, Babydoll, are you happy? What's on your mind? How do you feel about us?

You should have been talking to her like your talking to us now on yahoo answers. If the guy she's seeing on the side is serious about her...not playin' her or seeing it as a fling, you'll be out of the picture completely soon.

Answer 6

I couldn't say if she is or is not cheating. Get into marriage counseling. If she won't go then check into some personal counseling for your self. It will help you work out what's going on. Remember in a marriage you have two unique individuals. She does not mirror your feelings. She also gets to choose if the marriage works out. If she is not willing to go with you then you can pretty much guess she's already made up her mind.

Answer 7

well, marital problems dont just sneak up on you. There were issues before she got to this point. She didn't just go stone cold for no good reason. Maybe you aren't as in tune to your relationship as you think? Suggest marriage counseling. Hopefully she accepts. I wouldn't necessarily assume their is someone else though. That seems far fetched to me.

Answer 8

It sounds like she has the 7 year itch. She is probably bored and does miss the excitement and newness of a new relationship. Try to spice things up a bit. I cannot say if she is cheating or not, as I don't know her, however, it doesn't sound good.

Answer 9

I dont think she is cheating. I think she may be a little depressed, or needing to find herself again. She will just need, time, space, love and lots of understanding to do it. Good luck.

Answer 10

I disagree with the posters who said that the marriage is definitely over. It might be, but she might be suffering from depression. The two of you need to see a counselor. Good luck.