Is it possible to change this?

Question

My friend just recently opened up and told me a secret he has been holding onto since he was 13. He dates girls but he flirts/lead others on and even make the other ones believe they are in a relationship because he is not satisfied fully with the personality of one, and he said he "picks and chooses" the personality he likes within couple of girls even if it means being with selected girls on the side. If it didn't make sense, I mean, If his gf is missing a personality, he finds another one on the side to fill that in. He finally fell in love with a woman but he never told her that he had one on the side also because of his bad habit. He wants to make it right and change, and he asked me to help him, but I have no idea how to help him with that. I told him to tell her the truth and be honest with her. Do you think when she finds out, that he deserves the chance if he's willing to change? And is there a name for the type of person he is? He's not a bad guy, made bad choices though

He also mentioned that when something goes wrong with his gf or she's mad at him, he runs to the other(s) for either comfort or to replace what he's lost/loosing with his current gf. I hope I wrote it to make sense, he explained it to me, but I wished it was him explaining it and not me.

Answer 1

Your friend has not figured out lesson one with regard to personal relationships, which is that your partner's happiness must be as important to you as your own. This can be as simple as picking up after yourself, but it most definitely includes loyalty and fidelity.

There is no "perfect" partner at the outset. You find someone you love and respect, and grow into the partnership over time through a combination of experience, compromise and good faith. Until your friend accepts that he has to pick one person, make a committment and work at the relationship until they are genuinely partners he will be a romantic loser.

There is no easy way. There is also nothing worth doing more.

Answer 2

You can talk to very intelligent people, very accomplished people, and they would agree with you down the line that everything you say was true but not change. And if you're poorly advised, you'd go away wondering why is it that this person can agree with me and still remain unchanged? And the answer is very simple: Where people are wounded is in their emotions, where people are hurting is not in their reason, it's not in their intelligent process, its in their feelings. And where someone has been wounded by a father, in his or her feelings; it may often take a lifetime (not that it has to) but it may often take a lifetime to recover from that wound.

Your friend has been wounded and it is not what the girlfriends are missing; it is what he is missing. God is the Only Healer for a wounded child.

Answer 3

He sounds like he has some serious commitment issues, insecurity issues. He needs to seek perfessional help.