Serious Custody Issue?

Question

I have recently filed for divorce. I'm seeking sole custody of my two children. My soon to be ex is seeking Primary Shared Custody. Here's my major issue. He doesn't work, doesn't help out financially, lays around and has his new girlfriend do everything for him. He got injured and suposidly filed for disability. That was 3 years ago and nothing. I personally think he's lying. My kids have both told me that he has been working for cash for a friend of his. He's a complete deadbeat father. Do you honestly think any judge in the great country of ours would actually give this ahole what he wants.

His daughter from a previous relationship wants nothing to do with him.

I also don't think he realized that he would be responsible for half of everything the kids need (he'd had to get insurance on them), medical bills, everything.

Your thoughts and serious answers only.

The kids are 10 and 5. My son as already said he doesn't want to spend that much time with his dad. Him and his dad have never been close.

My main issue with this whole this is he doesn't help them out financially now and has no plans on doing it so why should I agree to let him have them more. He'll never be able to claim them on taxes....If he gets this "phantom" disability, the kids will only get about 400/month total (that's not each). And it's not him paying child support, it's the government paying because he's too lazy to get off his butt and get a job when he's cabable of doing so. I helped out financially, then this wouldn't be an issue. I'm going for sole but he still gets to see them every other weekend just like he is now. The major difference is I take full responsibility in raising them and make all decisions for them. That's basically it.

The kids are 10 and 5. My son as already said he doesn't want to spend that much time with his dad. Him and his dad have never been close.

My main issue with this whole this is he doesn't help them out financially now and has no plans on doing it so why should I agree to let him have them more. He'll never be able to claim them on taxes....If he gets this "phantom" disability, the kids will only get about 400/month total (that's not each). And it's not him paying child support, it's the government paying because he's too lazy to get off his butt and get a job when he's cabable of doing so. If he helped out financially, then this wouldn't be an issue. I'm going for sole but he still gets to see them every other weekend just like he is now. The major difference is I take full responsibility in raising them and make all decisions for them. That's basically it.

Answer 1

Please note that each state has it's own laws. That said, it is not common for a father to get primary custody unless he can prove you are unfit or your home is somehow not appropriate. Being the more stable parent should go in your favor. Depending on the age of your children, they may be able to express what their wishes are as well. Here in New York State, whether or not he is paying support to you would have o bearing on custody. Here they are two separate matters. My advice is get a good lawyer, get your ducks in a row. By that I mean, make sure your living conditions meet any state requirements, that you have adequate child care when you are working, and just be able to show that you are a good mother who is on top of things. Good Luck to you!!

Answer 2

His chances of being named the primary custodian are not good in the shared custody if all what you say is true. He may be seeking shared custody because he is planning on asking for child support from you. It sounds like you are the bread winner and he may be after part of your money. If he gets a job then he less to argue with to get child support. If you can get proof that he is physically capable of working and just faking the injury or disability your lawyer can make sure the judge knows that. Push for the full custody and the every other weekend.

Answer 3

Go to court with a lawyer and file an emergency hearing on custody because of your son's safe is a issues. You will need proof. Get all his former addresses, talk to his former neighbors if their willing, etc. Hope everything goes well because I know you don't want your son or to become a parent at an early age.

Answer 4

My ex works and I still only get 430 a month for two kids.
It's not all about the money its about what is in the best interest of the kids. I'd love to take my kids away from seeing their dad who only lives in a one bedroom house in a shitty side of town. But laws state the children have a right to be with both parents. It's not fair but no matter how red in the face you get and how low you think of that other parent the judge will see "he" wants to spend time with his kids.
Good luck to you and your kids!

Answer 5

I agree with Private P, You need to talk to your lawyer as custody issues vary from state to state. I also agree with PP as anything else said here take with a grain of salt

Answer 6

Yes, how old are the kids? Are they old enough to go before the judge and say they don't want to go to his house for visits? On the other hand is it right of you to want to keep them from seeing their father. He might be a deadbeat dad but, he still has rights just like you.....sorry

Answer 7

your doing the right thing. keep him in court and let him screw up and have to pay the consequences. but there are a lot of men out there that owe thousands of dollars for child support and nothing ever happens to them.

good luck

Answer 8

Your 10 year old is allowed to make that choice but unless you have proof he'll get joint custody with you haveing physical.

Answer 9

Just be sure to sue for the most, he pay for their medical insurance and child support and whatever else, so if he doesn't pay he'll be held in contempt of court, should he not follow through.

Answer 10

Unless you have proof of what he is doing your conjecture is inadmissible. Most likely unless you can give a sound reason with evidence why he should not have joint custody, he will get it.