I'm getting married in a few months and I'm just not sure if I really am ready. I've been dating my fiance for about three years now. He asked me to marry him a year ago, I didn't know what to say or what to think. I said yes because I was unsure and he asked me in front of his family, I couldn't say no. One day my fiance started talking about having kids and grandkids. I don't want kids and I thought we'd already had this conversation? To top all of that off, I keep losing weight and the dress is going to be all saggy. Oh my god. I don't know what to do. The invitations were sent out like a week ago. Lately I've been noticing other guys...like before I'd see a hot guy and it was whatever. But now, I just want to take off my ring and start talking to them. I can't go through with calling it off... But I don't know if I can get through the whole marriage part. With kids?? I have a career! Help me?
2007-08-14 04:09:30 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Very funny no I don't have AIDs. I'm not dieting either. I work out everyday for half an hour though.
2007-08-14 04:15:21 · update #1
Do not get married, if you are not 100 percent sure.
2007-08-14 04:14:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I thought about calling it off before I got married the first time - notice I said the FIRST time! I should have but I too was scared of making a mistake and embarrassing everyone including myself !
If you aren't ready, you aren't' ready! Don't do something as life altering as marriage if you aren't certain that he is what you want. How old are you? How old is he? If he really loves you and you really love him it will wait! You wouldn't be the first person to call a halt to a wedding at the last minute. Better to stop things now and wait till you're sure! Good luck!
2007-08-14 04:22:44 · answer #2 · answered by Janet H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is serious. Getting married shouldn't be because you're afraid to say no because he asked you in front of family. If your not sure if your ready then nine times out of ten you're not ready. He wants kids and you don't this is a big problem. You need to really talk to him and let him know how you're feeling. I'm not saying quit dating him, but maybe you should post pone the wedding. Calling everyone and cancelling is a lot cheaper than getting a divorce later or getting pregnant and resenting him for how your life is.
2007-08-14 04:17:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take a deep breath, and exhale. honey you are not ready. you might love your fiancee but you cant live your life thinking that you are going to be ok. NO, you need to cancel the wedding because if you dont you are going to hurt yourself. i think that you will be more happy if you called it off. Becoming parents and later becoming grandparents is a great gift from God, a lot of people in this world feel the same way that you do. you are not the only one. do not feel bad that you are thinking of canceling. trust me honey, you needt o let go. i have been married for seven months and we have had our differences, but we are in the same page when it comes to our future goals. if you say that he wants kids and you dont, that is going to cause a huge problem that is waitihg to happen.
It is time to cut the cord , let it go and be happy. do not stress out. and may God Bless you.
oh and one last thing, you are going to go through a though time when you tell your relatives that the weddding is off, but remember that in the end you will be happy and stress free.
2007-08-14 05:22:14 · answer #4 · answered by Lovable ♥♥♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You MUST cancel this wedding. I will tell you from someone who has been there (married 2 years now) People will get over not attending your wedding. People will NOT get over you marrying the wrong man and then divorcing a year later because it wasn't right. Trust me - your wedding is never as important as you think it is. To your guests it is just a blip in their calendar, another obligation. Not to say that YOU aren't important but weddings are weddings. I go to roughly 6 a year and if 1 was cancelled I wouldn't be upset about it.
Cancel the wedding.
2007-08-14 04:36:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have done this a long time ago, but I guess you'll have to do it now.
TALK TO YOUR FIANCE!!!
You should never be pressured into doing something you don't want to do, especially marriage!! If you don't want to get married, dont. If you don't want to have kids, dont. This is your life and you only get one, so do what you want.
Take some time and really think about all this. Don't just listen to a bunch of people you don't even know on yahoo answers. This decision should be yours and yours alone.
Good Luck!
2007-08-14 04:19:31 · answer #6 · answered by Adam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should postpone your wedding this way your not getting stuck in a marriage that your not even sure you want to be in and your not cancling it either, Poseponing it gives you time. Talk to your fiance, tell him that you don't want kids. Tell him that your mind won't change just because your last name will, and that if he truely wants kids that your not the woman that is willing to provide him with this. Maybe he isn't the one for you. I'm sure you love him, but you can love him as a friend, he doesn't have to be your life partner. Take time to listen to your heart. Are you willing to make him happy by having his children? Are you willing to be with this one man for the rest of your life?
2007-08-14 04:27:16 · answer #7 · answered by angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well to begin with you need to call it off now. All the invitations are out but not months ago recently. Send out letters and call it off. Tell your fiancee how you feel. Calling off the wedding now will be less expensive then having to get a divorce a couple of months from now.
2007-08-14 04:14:55 · answer #8 · answered by Mari 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to talk to him about all this stuff. if you guys can't agree on kids and other issues then you don't need to be getting married. look up on the Internet "are you ready to get married" and read all the questions you should be asking each other. and if your not compatible then you can use that as an excuse to NOT get married. don't get pressured or "feel bad" because you aren't ready. look at the money you would be wasting.
2007-08-14 04:22:21 · answer #9 · answered by Cornell is Hot! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only one you can talk to is your fiance, and be completely honest with him. If you guys need to push the date back, push it back, whether the invitations have gone out or not. If you two need to take a break, take a break. It's your life and if you go through with this, it's his life that will be miserable too. Talk to him and together, figure it out. Maybe it really is just cold feet, but you need to talk.
2007-08-14 04:16:25 · answer #10 · answered by ron-D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already know the answer. You are not ready. Tell everyone the wedding is off. Sure you will have egg on your face but, you sent them out knowing you were not ready. You should have been honest with him from the get go.
2007-08-14 04:14:40 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋