I have been with my current boyfriend for a little over 2 years now. When we met, we immediately moved in together and have had the most dishonest relationship you can imagine. I have been ready to move on for the past 9 months and he refuses to leave. I don't feel it's necessary to get authorities involved. What can I do to make him leave? By the way...it's my house he lives in, so I am not moving out.
2007-08-14 02:54:02 · 25 answers · asked by Stephanie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I've been in a similar situation before except we both rented the place and in the end I left. Since you own your house, this is obviously not what you want to do. One day while he's at work (take the day off if you have the same work schedule), pack all of his stuff up and sit it outside. Have a locksmith come over and change the locks to the door. If he gets violent or makes too big of a scene, than you might have to get the authorities involved whether you like it or not. The best way to handle this would be to talk to him first before you end up having to do it but it sounds like you've already done that. Either way, what you're about to do will be one of the most liberating things in life. Have fun!
2007-08-14 03:02:15 · answer #1 · answered by Miranda 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do not tell him you are going to do this, but just sell the house. let the realtors sign in the front lawn be his notice. If he wants to buy it, make him get standard mortgage, do NOT lend him the money, do not let him make payments to you. If he refuses to buy it, put it on the market and SELL it. It is only a house. Move your valuable things to a storage unit and leave the keys to it with your family and do not tell him you are doing this either. Keep the contract at your familys house as well. Do it all while he is at work or at the offices where the realtor is located or at the storage unit site.
When it is time to move, make sure all of your brothers and sisters and your dad and all the other boyfriends and husbands etc are present to help. Bring an army. No one may touch him physically but the police no matter what he says or does unless he lays his hands on someone. If he becomes violent in anyway. even vocally.. call them. Have him arrested but do NOT lie to the police. He could sue you later for false arrest.
Just do it.
2007-08-14 10:33:17 · answer #2 · answered by jokerthefreak1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you aren't ready to get the authorities involved, you're going to have a tough time. You need to document that you have told him to leave though in case you ever DO want to get the authorities involved. Since it's your house, you may eventually have to go through landlord/tenant court to get rid of him so documentation that you are 'evicting' him will speed up the process if it comes to that. Whatever you do, don't just change the locks or put his clothes out on the street because you could end up being charged with an illegal eviction and end up owing him a bunch of money.
Since you are not ready to go through legal channels yet though, you should make the living situation as (legally) unbearable as possible. Treat it like you would a landlord/tenant relationship. Don't let him involve himself in your personal life, don't be overly friendly with him, do your own thing. If you've moved on and want to date, then date. Don't include him in your planning of meals, your activities, whatever. If you include him in all that stuff or don't date because you feel it will make him uncomfortable, then he will never get the picture and move on. As long as he is not ready to move on and can keep you from moving on, he's not going to leave.
2007-08-14 10:05:50 · answer #3 · answered by nspir8ion 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was going to say that you will have to be the one to leave, but this is your house. The relationship is over, no longer friends, he has to leave. It has been 9 monthes? You need to call the authorities, give him one last warning and if he doesn't comply, call the police and have him arrested for trespassing. You will have to be able to prove the house is yours, just be sure you have the papers ready incase the police want to see, mortage, rental agreement, if his name is nowhere on it, he should be removed from the house. Have you asked why he does'nt move out, move on? You have to be responsible for yourself anad your possessions. The dishonest relationship has been over for awhile, is it going to take for something to be stolen, before action is taken. Maybe have a good friend available for support, so he knows you are serious.
2007-08-14 10:10:39 · answer #4 · answered by colway 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't feel it's necessary to get the authorities involved, but he refuses to leave, then you're kind of at a standstill. IF you're serious about getting him to move out, you need to serve him with a legal eviction notice. This website has information on how to go about doing that - http://www.easyevictionnotice.com/.
If you're not willing to legally evict him, you may just have to resign yourself to having him there until he's ready to leave.
2007-08-14 10:00:44 · answer #5 · answered by greeneyes_bjb 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If it is your house and you truly don't want him there then if he refuses to leave you will have to get the authorities involved to have him removed from your home.
Sorry, but that is the only way if he won't leave on his own.
You could box all of his stuff up, set it on the porch and have the locks changed...but then you will more than likely be asking for problems.
Get him removed from your home and get a restraining order.
be cool...
2007-08-14 10:06:01 · answer #6 · answered by CC Babydoll 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can legally evict him if you own the house (or have your landlord do it). I think if I were you I would pack his things one day/night when he isn't home and set them all outside the door and change your locks. Good luck I was in this situation once it was really BAD! I ended up moving out of my apartment b/c he would not move out and well the land lord had to deal with him then.
2007-08-14 10:56:01 · answer #7 · answered by sophia_of_light 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you dont want to get the athorities involved, but it might be the way to go. If it has been over for nine months and he still wont leave, then something has to be done. It seems to me that he is hanging around out of spite or jelousy or maybe because he is a free loader I dont know. If its your home and you want him gone. Honey get the Athorities involved. That way you have the law on your side. the longer you wait the harder it is going to be. Goodluck to you sweetie
2007-08-14 10:09:11 · answer #8 · answered by milatarywife 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might want to check your state laws, but legally you may have to serve him an eviction notice. Either that or get some girlfriends together, pack up all his crap, throw it outside and change the locks...it's up to you! Whether you find it necessary or not right now, you might have to get the authorities involved if you want him out bad enough! Good luck :)
2007-08-14 10:01:33 · answer #9 · answered by FirefighterWife 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Either(and I know this is probably hard ) Leave all together by selling your place it's still under your name right?, or if u really want to stir things up....start dating other people without letting him know your intentions...at all....sorry i'm a very bold person and when i wanto to get things done, i get them done....with or without anyones approval....yes i have some respect but only to those that have respect for me....get out!! or full speed ahead with your life!!! think about it...no games,no tricks , just truth!!! Deal with it!
2007-08-14 10:10:00 · answer #10 · answered by Jaxx 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋