Should I be worried if after my seperation my son hates his father?

Question

my son goes to his fathers every saturday morning around 8:30 am I drop him off before I go to work. My son has told me and my new boy friend who is living with us that he would rather stay at home with my BF and not go to his fathers. Should I be worried about the relationship with my son and his dad?

my sons father is from Guatemala and does not speak english so group meeting is hard. My son is 7 his father won't let him talk about me or my BF in his house hold while he is with my son. I usually let my son stay with his dad overnight until I get him late sunday am I pushing a relationship with my son and his father if my son doesn't watn one?

that is the one rule I have in my household no bad mouthing anyone. I especially do not talk bad about his father infront of him never have I never had a dad growing up so I'm more conserned with the fact of my son going to his dads and not feeling comfortable with him but I don't want to push him in to a relationship where he will resent me if something does happen to his father

Answer 1

yes i would be worried about worried why do you not talk to the fatther and find out what is going on and then talk to your son and find out why he dont want to see his daddy

Answer 2

You should worry, that is what parents do, however, the relationship between father and son will develop good or bad regardless of where you are, if you want them to have a good relationship, remember to talk about all the positive things about dad and get along with the father in front of you son. Any negative opinions should be yours and your son will grow and make up his own mind.

Answer 3

Yes, you should be worried! YOu should talk to the boy's dad and see what's going on. What does your son say about being at his dad's? It's unusual for a boy to not want to stay with his dad. maybe he likes the security of two adults in the house with you. It's really hard to say because I don't know you or the dad. Maybe the dad is strict and makes the boy do chores, who knows.

Answer 4

Absolutely!!
You need to sit down with your son and find out exactly why it is he no longer wants to spend time with his father. There may be something going on that you need to be aware.
I fit is just a matter that he has more fun with your boyfriend, then you need to sit with him and explain that he sees your botfriend all week, and his father really wants to see him also. It is tough for children to have to go from one home to another. Maybe he just does not want to leave the comforts of his home.
Either way, maybe now would be a good time for you, your son, and your ex to sit and maybe re-think the way the visitation is working out, and get your son's input on how you two can make it easier for him.
Good luck!!

Answer 5

YES!!!!! It is NOT right that your son does not want to be with his own Father!!! Try sitting down with your son and getting to the core of his REASON for feeling that way - there may be something going on that could deeply affect your son, and you NEED to find out NOW. PLEASE do not send him back to his Fathers house UNTIL your son talks to you. Including your new bf in the talk is up to you.

Answer 6

Maybe you need to ask yourself and him why he feels that way. If you make negative comments about his father then stop, if you don't, then try and ask him how he feels and why feels the way he does so that you can have an understanding. Sometimes kids see things that adults don't. Yes, you should be worried about their relationship, how can you not? Talk to your son and see what comes out of that conversation.

Answer 7

YES...be very worried.
Talk to him and find out whats bothering him.
You haven't talked bad about his father around him
have you? That's the number 1 thing parents should never do.
Take him to a counsler if he won't talk to you.
All that anger is going to fester and you won't be
able to control him.
I was VERY angry with my Dad as a child and couldn't have
been happier with the divorce. I started acting out and had
to go to therapy for a good while. But none of it effected my
relationship with my Dad the way it could've had my mom not stepped in to find out what was up.

Answer 8

I think your ex needs to have a heart to heart with your son. If it is that important does he give your ex a hard time? You need quite time as much as he needs to know his father...so I would have a group meeting if it is friendly...so it can be talked out...otherwise the child may rebel and cause more problems than it is worth.

Answer 9

How old is he? Children go through stages. I would ask him why. It may be because he feels like his dad isn't doing enough with him when he is there. Or something else may be wrong. Just ask him what's wrong and go from there. If he wants more of his dad's attention, then maybe bring it up to his dad.

Answer 10

I would say yes, you are pushing
I always respected my childrens boundaries even when they were young. They have instincts about things just as we do
I never showed disrespect to their father and always poiinted out what was good and continued to love him,as family, he made his choice , it wasn't a good one but
he was a good dad and husband and he is their father and should be respected.
I would never force my children to be with anyone who they don't want to, never.
Kids have instincts, I'd show some regard for your childs boundaries

Answer 11

You gotta have a loooong talk with him. Find out why he hates his dad??? I am no shrink but I think it's ok as long as he does not start hating himself if he finds some of his father's traits in himself tomorrow.