my boyfriend and i have been together a little over a year and have sex frequently. we are both of age and that isn't the issue. lately it has hurt when we've tried so obviously we haven't had sex in a while. but last night we tried and it hurt, but i let him keep going because i felt bad that i hadn't done anything with him like that in a while. however, i told him to keep his condom on because i was afraid of getting pregnant (i missed a few pills). before i could say anything else he took off the condom and continued. i started crying and he went inside of me. afterwards i started bawling and asking him why he would do that to me and he started crying and said he was sorry. do you think it was an honest mistake or do you think that it was malicious?
2007-08-14 02:45:09 · 34 answers · asked by browvera 1 in Health ➔ Women's Health
i told him to stop after he took off the condom and he didn't. i told him before hand that i've missed a few pills and that of course i didn't want to get pregnant, i'm a 19 year old college student. afterwards he said "i'm sorry i don't know what i was thinking" and all that kind of bs.
2007-08-14 03:39:32 · update #1
If he noticed that you were crying during sex, his actions were reprehensible.
It is possible that he didn't notice you being upset. Hard to say, as I wasn't there. If he cried when you told him what happened, then maybe he got too carried away and didn't notice your pain or discomfort.
But to be perfectly honest, if my wife did cry or not enjoy herself during sex, I would notice, and it would kill my arousal. I wouldn't just keep going.
I think you guys are focusing too much on this sex issue. Yes, sex is important in a relationship, but it seems like it is creating an unreasonable amount of stress in your relationship.
I'd recommend counseling, with perhaps a visit to a gynecologist to try and figure out why the sex is painful.
If it is a matter of you not being able to relax enough and get aroused, you could try spending some time in bed, naked, without it actually leading to intercourse. This can be frustrating for the guy, though, until he figures out what the concept is. It's about getting closer on an emotional level, and just enjoying being close, in a sensual way, without stressing about a successful intercourse.
2007-08-14 02:53:47 · answer #1 · answered by Mika 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
It was wrong because you asked him to stop and he didn't listen. He should also be more respectful of you and care that it has been hurting and the fact that you wanted him to wear a condom. It was not a mistake and sadly alot of men are selfish like this when it comes to sex.
2007-08-14 03:05:00 · answer #2 · answered by c_t_5_2 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, it wasn't a mistake. A mistake is when someone doesn't mean for something to happen. He knowingly took it off.
I dont know if I would call it rape, but it would be close. You consented to it with a condom, but everyone has the right to say stop. When you said it, he didnt stop at that point it was no longer concentual.
2007-08-14 02:56:37 · answer #3 · answered by Midwest 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would say the sex was consensual, however taking the condom off was wrong and rude and immature and nasty and hundreds of other bad adjectives. He was probably overwhelmed by hormones but that's no excuse.
Thinking about it though, it is possible it was rape because you did not give consent for him to have sex with you without a condom. I'm not sure what the law is in that area. Anyway please be more careful with him, maybe dump him.
2007-08-14 02:58:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
That's not rape but is just being inconsiderate and he do not concern about how u feels.... Did u tell him that you do not want to have sex with him if he do not have the protection on? If u do, and he just did it.... then i m sorry to said that he just think of himself at the point of time.... maybe both of you need to have a talk before anything... Good Luck..
2007-08-14 03:14:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, that is a tough one... Did you tell him "no" when he put himself inside you sans condom? Did you try to push him off when he went inside you?
I think he realized after the fact (because he was crying) that it was wrong of him to do that. I don't think it was malicious. Talk to him.
He should have kept the condom on and respected your wishes.
2007-08-14 02:52:19 · answer #6 · answered by Terri 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that was definatly not an honest mistake. im sure he felt bad about it, but you TOLD HIM TO KEEP THE CONDOM ON. unless u were speaking a language he did not understand, then as soon as he took the condom off he was raping you.
2007-08-14 03:04:18 · answer #7 · answered by CWeb 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Depends I think it was wrong of him it sounds like he made a malicious mistake. None of us were there so its all about how you feel. As far as rape and law it would be hard to prove (if you were going to go that far?) he has to know that you wanted to stop, I'm not sure if you said anything or tried to push him away
2007-08-14 02:51:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that was absoluetly wrong you told him to keep the condom on and he dilibertly took it off, he went against your wishes and I do not think his "Sorry" was authentic. As far as thinking you were rapped "NO" you were not raped because you consented to sex and you did not tell him to stop. I think he was being selfish and inconsiderate of you.
2007-08-14 02:56:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
The sex was consensual but it seems he doesnt respect you - if he did he wouldnt have taken it off or made you cry
if it hurts when you have sex - then something is wrong and he should think of you and what could be wrong and not only his pleasure
2007-08-14 03:10:03 · answer #10 · answered by ♥Sabre♥ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋