I am married to a man with children. we have them 50% of the time. My husband and I had a huge fight 3 years ago when the children were in the other room. I told him I wanted a divorce (he treated me like crap back then) and he just lost it! He hit me a couple of times and I was scared for my life. I grabbed my phone and wanted to call the police, but my husband called for his kids and they jumped on the top of me to take my phone away. They scratched me and pushed me, I had marks left etc. They were 7 and 8 years old at the time.
My husband and I are doing much better now, he never hits me and treats me with respect. We go to marital therapy and it really helps. But what do I do about his kids? I do not know how to forgive them. I thought they loved me and I know I loved them, I did so many things for them and we had a great relationship. Everything is different now, I do not know how to get over this betrayal. My husband feels horrible about this, he apologized to me and the kids
2007-08-14 02:25:10 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The kids refused to apologize...
And no, they were never abuse by Dad and they usually do not listen to him when he tells them to do something good and productive. Maybe they just hate me but were nice to me to please their Dad?
2007-08-14 02:36:15 · update #1
I forgave my husband because he treats me like a qeen now, but his kids never apologized and act like it was not a big deal.
2007-08-14 02:39:40 · update #2
If the children were 7 and 8 at the time, they were not really responsible for what they did. The fault for their actions lies entirely with their father.
When you forgive someone, you are not saying that what the other person did was ok or acceptable. You are saying that you will not hold this action against them and you will love the other person from now on.
How do you forgive? You do it by loving the person who did you wrong.
2007-08-14 02:35:43 · answer #1 · answered by Sldgman 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This attack on you was in no way the fault of those children. You say you feared your husband back then? How do you think those kids felt? 7 & 8 year olds will do as their parents say, even if they know it is wrong.
I am sure these kids feel just horrible about what happened. You say you and your husband are in counseling? Waht about those children? Can you imagine what kind of an impact that incidient had on their lives? Being order to attack at their fathers command!! How horrifying for them!!
You are a very strong woman to have stayed and worked this through, and I commend you for seeking professional help (alot of people would not do that).
Although this should have started when you and your husband started counseling, it is stilll not too late. Get you, your husband, and those children into group counseling!! This situation needs to be resolved for everyone's sake.
Good luck!!
2007-08-14 02:39:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out of these childrens' lives. You are holding a grudge against some little kids!! Grow up!! You have interloped on their lives.
If your husband hit you why would you stay? You should be mad at him not some kids.
He doesn't respect you, he just hasn't started hitting you again.
2007-08-14 02:42:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't blame him somewhat. She must be satisfied he in no way had her arrested for newborn abuse. What she did to him is something that no-one ought to could desire to tolerate. the subsequent time she starts her crap, tell her which you incredibly % not something to do with a newborn beater, then stay removed from her. that would basically be an eye fixed opener for her. If she starts appearing like it is not something teach her his scars. And remind her that those scars will heal, however the psychological scars will in no way heal. in reality, take some photos of the scars, and save sending them to her as a reminder.
2016-12-15 14:50:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
how can u forgive him and not the kids. u all need to b in counseling together and by the way to drag his kids in the middle of an adult situation shows signs of immaturity at the time. what if u hurt one of them or u yourself was hurt.have they apologize? maybe that's a start. how about a family meeting with everyone to discuss this.
2007-08-14 02:34:49 · answer #5 · answered by sequitta h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What "Man" calls for his 7 and 8 year old kids to attack his wife like they're Pit Bulls? That's strange. Anyways, they're kids. You can't be mad at them. They were just following orders from their father. You should be more mad at him that he would be so selfish that he would involve his small children in an adult altercation. He sounds childish.
2007-08-14 02:52:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Excuse me, but They were doing as they were told......Those children May have been abused by daddy......and they were afraid Not to Obey......
7 and 8 they don't know any better......YOUR Husband is the one to blame.....and if you can't see that then I am sorry.
My dad was very abusive to My mother and He never abused us kids, but we were scared to death of him......We jumped when he said JUMP.........YOU don't know what happened to those children before you came into their lives.......
They may NEVER see what they did was wrong until they have children of their own......You may not hear I am sorry until then......
YOU ARE BLAMING THE WRONG ONES!!!!! I am sorry that you married an )( but if you are going to continue to be offended by his children and not let it go you will only destroy yourself.....they SERIOUSLY didn't know any better.
2007-08-14 02:32:53 · answer #7 · answered by Been There Done That 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
They're kids, get over it. Of course they're going to do what their dad wants. You've forgiven your husband and it was his fault in the first place, now forgive those kids.
2007-08-14 02:33:32 · answer #8 · answered by comeundone4162 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They were little children protecting their daddy. You have to forgive them.
ALLL of you NEED to go to counseling PRONTO. YOU especially and the children also so the basic causes can be unraveled and explained in terms they can grasp.
2007-08-14 02:40:15 · answer #9 · answered by jokerthefreak1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let me get this straight...you and your husband are together and you forgave him for hitting you....but you cant forgive impressionable little kids who did what their abusived father told them to do?????
You're aiming your anger at the wrong ones. They love their father and he knew that...HE is the one that told them to attack you, they didnt do it on their own accord...so why would you forgive his abuse but not there misguided abuse??? They are after all...just children.
2007-08-14 02:36:42 · answer #10 · answered by stephanie_6234 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋