Giving up parental rights?

Question

My ex-husband has been paying child support for my daughter since we divorced when she was 3 yrs old. When the court ordered the support he wasnt making much money so the support order was very minimal. He has since married the woman he left me for, had two children and has finished school and got a decent paying job.
So two years ago I filed for a modification to up his support. I finally have a court date for this November and my ex has called me to tell me he cannot afford to pay anymore child support than what he is paying. I am remarried and my husband pays child support for his children, so i can understand the hardship child support puts on an income, but i also know his wife makes triple what i make and his family would not AT ALL be strained from my daughter receiving more money. What i cant understand is why her father would call me to tell me either i drop the modification or he wants me to agree to let him sign over his rights to her. Am I wrong for going to court?

Im not saying his wife should have to pay anything, but he is trying to say the extra child support will put a strain on his family, and im saying i dont know how when his wife makes three times as much as me and him.

Hey Mike....I am not assuming she makes more, its been thrown in my face that she makes more...like four months ago when my ex filed for custody by reason that they make more money and can give her more. My daughter was appointed an attorney in the case by the judge who suggested i keep pushing for more money cause the little change he gives me every month doesnt ever cover her after school program....and yes my daughter deserves the money.

Answer 1

DO NOT let him sign over his rights....child support is money HE OWES your/his daughter...it sounds like he's already taken enough away from her, don't allow him to take that from her too! He made the decision to marry you and have a child and it's his duty to live up to his responsibility - he can't just abandon her bc he has moved on ....he should have taken your daughter's financial needs into consieration before he decided to have 2 more kids.
Also, regaurdless of what his wife makes, the fact that he graduated school and got a better job should help increase the child support order. Please, don't allow him rob your daughter of what she's due.

Answer 2

You filed two years ago and the court date is finally in November?? Don't you just love the legal system...... You don't mention if he is involved in your daughters life or has visitation. I can't imagine a parent signing away rights based on finances but it does happen. I think you should let the courts decide. Of course it's a financial hardship, kids are expensive. Has he been as worried about your financial hardship all this time? He was married, he made a child, he should be held accountable. Period. If he can't take care of the one child he already had, he had no business making two more. Go to court and fight for your daughter. After you get the extra support, put most of it in a college fund for her so that she can be independent when she's a young woman and hopefully she won't have the same issues. Good luck :)

Answer 3

The way I view child support is it's a lot easier to send a check then spend the time and energy it takes to raise a child and instill values and morals in a child. And if the only time he has to ever think of my children is when he gets his paycheck and sees his support deducted then so be it. He should not have created children he was unwilling to support and take care of-and the fact that he would rather relinquish his rights than pay is horrible. It speaks to the type of "man" he is. Some people are built to have kids and dump them with no thought or cate. It is interesting though that he tried to get custody before and now he wants to terminate his rights. I don't know what state you live in but I recently went through something similar (NC) and when they made the new order they made it retroactive to the date the motions was filed so on the up side they may back date it and make him responsible for that money. And if he and his wife have natural children together NEWSFLASH-her income is included whether she likes it or not! My husband's income was included when they modified my support order. Of course once again this varies from state to state. Personally I would let him terminate his parental rights if he is as low as you are portraying him to be. And frankly do you really want this man who doesn't appreciate what a blessing and privilege it is to be a father have any role in your child's life??

Answer 4

Maybe you worded the last statement incorrectly. Im not sure. But in order for a man to "sign off" on his parental rights, there MUST be another man willing to adopt the child. If they are saying that you should sign your rights over so that they could have the child...DON'T BE STUPID... Take this matter to court and deal with the ex there. Her father sounds like an a s s and should have nothing to do with the court process. Make the ex pay his fair share.

Answer 5

He may have chosen to remarry and have 2 more children - but he is still legally responsible for his daughter and he shouldn't be allowed to weasle out of it. I would pursue the modification, and since the wife makes so much money, it should not put a hardship on his family. Your daughter deserves her father's monetary support. I wouldn't go for the signing over of his rights, because that would enable him to avoid all responsibility for her and her future expenses - specifically college. Go to court - you are doing the right thing.

Answer 6

Of course you are not wrong and don't let him make you feel that you are! I went through this similar thing with my daughter. It is not cheap to raise a child these days and he needs to help you by paying more if he got a increase in his wages. If he wants to sign over his rights that tells me that he really does not care for this child. That will not change the fact that he still needs to pay you child support. Go ahead to court and get your money to raise your child... Good Luck!

Answer 7

I don't think the issue has anything to do with his current wife. The fact of the matter is that he is willing to give up custody of his daughter because he does not want to pay any more support. You have got to decide if getting any extra couple of dollars is worth your daughter not having a father. I know that what he is doing is crappy. I'm sure that he probally can afford the extra, but if she is attached to him and he is being good to her, you have a decision to make. I wish you the best of luck!!

Answer 8

No you are not wrong for wanting more for your daughter. What your ex needs to understand is that she is HIS daughter also!!! And what he does not seem to understand is that he cannot just "give up" his parental rights. In order for him to give up rights, your daughter would need to be adopted by your current husband, or your ex would at least need your permission to give up his rights - depending on the laws of your state - some states will not allow a parent to give up parental rights unless the child is being adopted. No court in the U.S. is going to let him just "give up" rights to avoid paying child support, and unfortunately for him, child support is based on the income of both parents - so if he is making more money he should be paying more. I say stick to your guns and get your daughter what she deserves.

Answer 9

Unless you have plans for your present dh to adopt her, I don't think he can sign away his rights. Even if he signs them away, he could still be forced to pay support. Sounds like he just wants an out to get out from under his responsibility and doesn't want to pay anymore than the minimum he is paying. Just because a child is older doesn't mean they cost less to raise, if anything, the older they get the more things for them cost. If you believe he can pay it, by all means take him on to court.
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So he filed to get custody cause they can give her more. He had money to file that but doesn't have money to give you a little more every month to help with her expenses. That is just silly on his part. Like he really thought a judge was going to grant that. That is your answer, it isn't that he doesn't want to give her more, its he doesn't want to give you more. In his little mind he is not looking at it like he is giving more to his daughter, he is giving more money to you. Like I said before, take his butt on to court, don't give into his silly demands cause he is trying to make it about him and you and not about what your daughter deserves.

Answer 10

No you are not wrong. And as your daughter gets older her needs and wants are going to be even more than when she was a child. If your ex is serious about giving up his rights I suggest setting up an appointment to talk to a lawyer with him regarding the ramifications of his actions. Also your current husband should be involved in this too. Does he want to adopt her because that would also void your ex husbands financial burden?