My ex-husband and I were thinking of getting back together as a family. He is upset with me though because I am not taking steps forward to move to the state where he is such as packing, emptying out my storage or updating my resume.
He says that I don't know what marriage really is which is two spouses working together like clockwork. I should be accomplishing things each day in his mind and letting him know what I did and how I got rid of stuff.
Is this the way that spouses are supposed to work together and am I wrong for wanting to do things my way? I want to still talk with him about things I want to do and donate my stuff and pack during the last few days.
2007-08-14 01:55:41 · 6 answers · asked by Stareyes 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It still sounds like you have some issues (control) to deal with or you might part again later on. It sounds like you still need some talking time to iron out how you want to manage your marriage---what are we doing and why? How much do we do/spend without letting the other know?
Marriage is not joined at the hip---we also need some space to do things on our own, but....it should not be "you go your way and I'll go mine". Working like clockwork may be an unrealistic expectation--we arent perfect--or maybe that's the problem with your husband.
You need to make sure you settle expectation problems between you and husband.
2007-08-14 02:09:46 · answer #1 · answered by skyward 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, why did you divorce in the first place? Unless you figure that out and fix it, you're headed right back for divorce again if you get back together. I do believe spouses need to work together to get things done, but they don't always do that and it's ok. Things get messed up, forgotten and left behind, and that's no reason to be upset. Why do you need to report to him anyway on what you do or don't do? He's your husband, not your drill sergeant! You are not wrong for wanting things your way as well, no one gets what they want 100% of the time, and if he does he needs to take a flying leap! Good luck
2007-08-14 10:09:52 · answer #2 · answered by FirefighterWife 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, spouses should work together and both compromise to achieve a common goal. The fact that the two of you don't see eye to eye on how things should be accomplished says a lot about the reason you are Xs in the first place. Either find a happy medium both of you can live with or go your separate ways.
2007-08-14 09:04:09 · answer #3 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unless you want a second divorce with this man you should both get some marriage counseling.
Unless you both understand and can fix what went wrong the first time it's going to happen again.....it sounds like it already is.
2007-08-14 09:01:05 · answer #4 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What a boring marriage it would be if it ran like clock work.
A surprise or a small bit of drama are what marriage is all about.
2007-08-14 09:05:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why did the two of you divorce before?
2007-08-14 09:01:02 · answer #6 · answered by jokerthefreak1 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋