poem inspired by a Yahoo question. Does this work for you?

Question

I gazed into my crystal ball -
With narrow-minded scope
And little was revealed to me
- But the clearness of Hope -

With angle of the moonbeam cast -
Refraction did its' thing -
Bending dreams is thrice as hard
- If Ideas do not sing -

Answer 1

Almost...you have a good idea, but the execution was a bit sloppy...sorry, but it was and you probably already know it. That being said, it has some good imagry and all you need to do is some careful editing. For example, who had "narrow minded scope"...you, or the crystal ball? If it was the ball, then you might want to say, "with its narrow minded scope"...then I'd drop the "and" because it would be implied anyway and you get rid of that extra beat that throws the line off for the following line. Finally, the last stanza might do better as a question, as in, "Was it the angle of the moonbeam cast that allowed refraction to do this thing?" then, "For bending dreams is thrice as hard if ideas do not sing"

Something to consider...keep writing

Answer 2

What a delightful poem. The view of the evening sky is not any doubt certainly one of the main inspirational issues i've got ever appeared at. via a telescope that's much extra astounding and the planets are magnificent. in spite of the indisputable fact that i will make sure pictures on line there is not something rather like watching the real ingredient aided in straight forward terms by utilising optics. i'm undecided approximately your innovations on comets. They nonetheless have their power, that's purely that the present day ones have not come close adequate to placed on the entire practice. Time will carry yet another. Over an prolonged era some would be rather frighteningly close. the place I stay Orion is grew to become on his head. His belt and arm looking not something extra that a saucepan. a splash unhappy for any such large warrior. i've got enjoyed analyzing this, even however i've got purely controlled to seize a chilly.

Answer 3

I like your poem. Short, sweet, and to the point, and quite clever.
Good job!


Virgil, if you don't care for poetry, then why bother being on the poetry board?

Answer 4

Ooh, like it! Nice job! You really seem to have a talent for using beautiful words where they belong.

Answer 5

I don't like poems much, but every once in a while I find one that just does it for me. That's one of them.

Answer 6

I must say, I didn't have much time to take it in, so I read it twice. Keep up the work.

Answer 7

What a wonderful poem! I love it, it really works for me!
Thank you for sharing it.

Answer 8

Good Stuff, Dude.

Answer 9

Yeah it works for me.

Answer 10

I liked it, short, sweet, to the point.