Why I am I affected by things later in life?

Question

I mean like things that happened to me 5ish years ago are now popping up and I'm feeling depressed and confused about them.

My step father was an alcoholic and a gambling addict and when my mother finally kicked him out of the house, he left our family very vunrable.

I wasn't really upset by this at the time, but now I am. I can't believe he hurt us like this.

Why am I not feeling the sadness at the time? But years later?

Answer 1

The Phenomenon, is called "post traumatic stress syndrome", there is considerable literature on the subject. Counseling, probably would help a lot. Ultimately, you can get over these events. However, you must take the initiative.

I know, counseling has not worked for you in the past. It doesn't mean, it won't work for you in the future. Please, don't hesitate to try again. Maybe, when you get to your new school, you can find help there.

Answer 2

Agree with Miss J.It's normal and natural.Try to either forgive your father or tell your self that it doesn't really matter so much now.Sadness which you feel now is because you have been able to grasp the gravity of the situation now more clearly than any time before.Life is a long journey and we shouldn't get stuck on some small station for any reason what so ever but continue going forward.All th best.

Answer 3

I think u didnt feel the way before because he was hurt ya family.....n u jus wanted him to leave n u wasnt worrying about how u left u jus wanted him gone......so at the time u wasnt thinking about the situation u wasnt feeling sad or any type of pain from the issue......i think u feel it now because u got a chance to let it settle n u finally realize what have happen to u n ur mom.....n it makes u sad deep down knowing that someone that u thought u probably could trust......could do something like that to u n ur mom.....n i kno it make u mad n depress n u might want to cry.....but stay strong let by gones be by gones move on to bigger n beter things

Answer 4

Your profile says your are 17, so 5 years back you were something like 12. The problem was between your mom and your step father and your mom would have protected you from him, therefore, you may not have realized the gravity then. Now, you are quite grownup and understand the significance of those incidence now.

Moreover, unpleasant past incidences haunt all of us and even though you are grown up you still are of tender age. So, it is quite natural that you get purturbed when they haunt you.

While it is difficult to shrug off past incidences just like that, if you practice meditation you may get some peace. Engage yourself in some light activities and try to concentrate on your studies. Past is past and would not come back, just learn some lessons from it. Good luck.

Answer 5

hi.its very natural yaar .do u think ur the one who face such problems noo.i tell u about my self there r manythings that happened 6to7 yrs ago .when i was in college i was a very shy person i never use to give answer to teachers if i know also i never use to participate in any compitions etc.i dont even no how to dress that time i use to be myself etcthere r many many things i can tell u but its gone yaar y to regreat today.as per ur question u ask y i can give u the simple answer to it {because u r grown up now .u r more mature than now u can understand things in ur way u r maturte more now}look a harsh ex of it is {there r many child whose parents sell them for very little money or who throw there kids in dustbin many many cases}does anyone of them regreat no u have to be more practial now u can t talk like a child .u have to be strong enough to understand thing s now.ok u tell me what u will gain remembering those things just pain .than stand up n look what u can do to ur self for the best ok.we will not get anything by regreating the past it gone .be brave and look the other side of it .i hope now u will be free from that regreats.hope u got the answer feel free to send me ur problems okk {may god bless u dear}take care.

Answer 6

At the time this was happening, you went into survival mode. It is called the fight or flight theory. When you are removed from the situation, it is much easier to see it in an objective way, then process your feelings. This is a good thing, it is called growth.

Answer 7

Hi Wabby, You are getting older and the older you get things like this will start bumming you out. It's just the way things are. Older and wiser is what everyone says.
A Friend.
poppy1

Answer 8

unfortunately this is called repressed memory.when i have had horrible experiences in my past.the thoughts can come flooding back in my memory at any time when i feel down.the only thing you can do is try and side track your negative thoughts with distraction of positive thoughts,they call this cognitive thinking.