i've lived with my boyfriend for the past 7 years and we got engaged last year. friday night he went to his brothers saying he needs space he came back late saturday for some clothes and took his pasport and car documents. he said he still likes me but for now the love has gone. do you think he could ever love me again?
2007-08-13 23:52:20 · 21 answers · asked by j034nn3 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
wow, that's tough... did he tell you what his reasons are? or how did the love falter after all those years you have been together? i cant really answer if he will still love you again. the question is will you be able to live and love again? try to stand up for yourself and show him that you can handle your life without him...
2007-08-13 23:56:23 · answer #1 · answered by brazenlove 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I know this is heartbreaking, but it sounds like he may be looking at/for someone else, or he may just be confused and have cold feet. I would give him his space, and that does include having him get ALL his stuff from the house. Call him and very calmly ask him when he can get his stuff or what he wants you to do with it. Do not become emotional at any time when talking to him. Just keep your voice calm and stay focused on him removing his things since he says he no longer loves you. Tell him you would like to have this done as soon as possible. It freaks a guy out when a woman doesn't fall apart and just starts making decisions like it is a business. This will show that you are honoring his request for space and accepting that he has told you he doesn't love you. You will appear to be very, very strong, whether you feel strong or not. Once he is out of the house for good, concentrate on yourself. Have fun. Pamper yourself with manicures, massages, etc... just be good to YOU. He will either come around and realize that he loves you, or he will be gone and you can start getting over him. This will be very hard to do, because you have 7 years of your life invested in the relationship, but you can do it. Stay strong, and I hope you end up with Mr. Wonderful!
2007-08-14 07:21:54 · answer #2 · answered by wondering 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Do you think you want a man who is that flakey? If the love is gone, then he is probably giving it to someone else. Is that the kind of man you want? Wouldn't it be wonderful to be with a man who you can count on, who will love you and who acts like a grown up?
He may come back when he is done having sex with whoever he wants or when he gets dumped. I would not waste your time or breath trying to win him over. You can't change how people feel or make them act the way you want them to.
I am sorry you're heart broken. But what is going on with him has nothing to do with you and you can't change it. Be kind to yourself and don't be anyone's door mat. Don't play the role of victim in your own life.
The question is not whether he will come back or not, because he probably will. The question is whether you want to go through this again, because when he comes back, he is very likely to continue to do the same things.
Would you love a man who can just walk away at the drop of a hat after saying he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you?
Better he leaves now than when you have two hungry kids and a mortgage. I wish you the best. Sorry you are hurting.
2007-08-14 07:01:07 · answer #3 · answered by whereRyou? 6 · 1⤊ 3⤋
It sounds like you definately are in love with him. But it does not sound like he is in love with you anymore. I hope he does return for your relationships sake. Normally when a man says that he needs space and "the love is gone", these are indicators that he has found someone else that he is interested in. Look for the indicators and try and figure out where he is/was spending most of his time. These are the influences that are causing him to think this way. Because if this happened overnight then he has been influenced big time. If it was gradual then he has definately met someone.
I hope this helps..
2007-08-14 07:01:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
By the time somebody tells you that (assuming it's true, and it came as a suprise to you), it's too late. His interest in you may have been quite low for some time, and because he didn't posses the integrity to tell you (or you didn't listen), it's now over, and he's just not strong enough to tell you.
Or he's a drama queen. In either case, let him go.
You don't need to know reasons. You don't need him to tell you.
I can tell you the things we humans do to kill romantic interest in one another: lack of integrity (lies, cheating, not being who you pretend to be, basic dishonesty), lack of flexibility (too structured, always needing to be right, controlling), not giving enough (a taker, emotional or otherwise), not affectionate, insecure and needy (not confident and self-assured), lack of self-control (over eating, gambling, drugs, spend-a-holic, alcoholic, rage issues, etc), and finally.... have a bad attitude or nag all the time.
2007-08-14 07:20:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
possibly, and hopefully.
i watched something on tv not long ago about people who have fallen out of love, and in most cases, it was because things were too serious-not the relationship- but work, bills, arguments, stress etc, it was like they had forgotten why they were together in the first place-but they all went on romantic dates, and stayed in a hotel afterwards-and the love was rekindled. my advice to you is ask him out on a date, get dressed up, go to a nice restaurant, horse ride or something, and to a hotel. spend the date reminiscing, and have fun-see if that works if not ask why he no longer loves you-not on the date, keep that argument and issue free-then see if u can work on some of the points he made.
hope i could help :o)
best of luck
2007-08-14 07:03:20 · answer #6 · answered by gem w 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
He is afraid of commitment. Give him some space for a couple of weeks. Have wedding plans become too much for him? Try to think of what has changed in the past few weeks. Yes, he could come back. Good luck..
2007-08-14 06:58:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
It might be difficult for you but all I can say is don't expect too much.
Be`ready to face the worst scenario which he is going to leave you forever. The fact that he said the love is gone is something serious. Most men don't lie on their feelings. If they love, they express it and same way if they don't.
2007-08-14 06:57:37 · answer #8 · answered by Leonie A 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
This is what happens when you live with a man for 7 years, without being married. When he gets tired of screwing you, he dumps you for somebody else. No, he's not coming back. Why should he? He's not married to you.
2007-08-14 07:27:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Sounds like he got the "7 year itch". Hopefully he will get out there and find out that there is nothing better than you. In the meantime, try to occupy yourself and have a good time. If he sees you just waiting for him, he will figure that he can take his time coming back to you.
2007-08-14 06:58:33 · answer #10 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
he may love you again, but, if I were you, I would not wait around on him...move on w/ your life...sounds to me that he probably met some lady online...=(...argh! When he sees her and finds out she is just like any other lady, he will probably come back...I would not take him back...I know it may seem like you will not love anyone else...but, if he loved you he would not have been finding someone else =(...good luck and move on! Just got engaged last year? he could not have fallen out of love for you that fast...after being together for 6 at the time...hmmm!
2007-08-14 06:58:40 · answer #11 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 1⤊ 3⤋