Giving up on TTC because of repeated failure?

Question

Me and my boyfriend have wanted to have a baby together since we got together over 4 years ago. I was only on birth control for 6 months and stopped.. now it's been at least 3 1/2 years since the birth control wore off.. and still nothing.
Everyone around me is pregnant... ALL of my friends and even my brothers wife.. I'm tired of playing the waiting game and I feel like I won't have a baby until I get on some medication to help me. So Ive given up for now.
My periods are semi-regular now, my last cycle was only 35 days and for the first time in 2 years I was happy to see my period again so soon.
I know I have PCOS but I can't afford a doctor at the moment, so my only choice is to give up and wait.
I just get so depressed when my friends shove their sonograms in my face, talking about baby showers and formula and things like that.. and at the end of the year everyone is going to have a baby in their arms but me.
So this is my resignation. I give up :(

Sorry this really isn't a question...
Does anyone have any advice about anything they could give me?

Answer 1

Oh, I'm so sorry for all the difficulty you have been having. I can't imagine what that must feel like nor do I want to assume that I could know what its like. I do know someone though that has been using IVF for 2yrs, has had 7 implantations and only 1 pregnancy that ended 2wks later. they have decided to lay off for a year and try again later when finances have been restored and their minds have rested. It is a hard hard road to follow especially when you are hitting a brick wall every month. I sincerely hope that if you can give up 'trying' then your body will sense the relaxation and get pregnant. Do not despair, if you can save some money then medical assistance can help you. I wish you all the luck.

Answer 2

We have been trying too and I know how disappointing it is each month when nothing happens. This is just a suggestion but it may help. I am a foster mum and I chosen to take in babies. You may find that fostering a baby will take your mind off having your own long enough for your body to relax and fall pregnant without the stress each month. That way you can enjoy caring and loving a baby that really needs your help and hopefully end up with your own as well. I'm not sure where you are but where I am we can foster short or long term so if you weren't willing to take on a baby long term, you could try short term and it may be enough to get your body ready for your own baby. And if you find you can't have your own baby for 1 reason or another, you may like to consider the long term option or even adoption. I know it's not the same but it may be able to fill the void somewhat and there are plenty of beautiful babies that need a caring mum and dad. I hope this doesn't sound like I'm suggesting you use an innocent baby because I don't mean it in a bad way at all. I see it as helping a child in need and helping your own needs. Anyway just a suggestion. Good luck.

Answer 3

I am really sorry to hear of your situation. Sometimes it is not easy to have children. My partner and I married to have a family but a month after we married my husband was diagnosed with cancer and we are currently infertile. It is so hard when you want something so much and for what ever reason it just doesnt happen. The more you focus on it the more you start to resent other peoples happiness. I know it is hard but you have to let go a little and think well we will keep trying but at the same time learn to be happy for others otherwise you become self destructive.

All the best and my thoughts are with you.

Answer 4

i have been in ur same sitaution, and kind of still am. i have been trying for 2 years, and i did suceed once, ended in a miscarriage, onlyto find out that my fiances cousin was coming to america from portugal 3 months pregnant. so i watched her go threw every step i would have, i even delivered her baby, so talk about depression. dont let urself get into that mood, honestyl take some prenatal vitamins, but take it out of the bottle and into something else, so u dont look at the prenatal part, month to month, dont think about yet aniother month of not pregnant .. see the future insead, something i tried, maybe u and ur husband should go to an adult store and try new things, make fun out of it... like buy urself a dildo and get him a coc ring. thats what we did. im not trying to be sick, im trying to help. what we did was since my fiance would only last 2 minutes and i would have nothing, i bought a dildo with vibration and beads in it, with a remote, so when he finished he would finish me with it. or.. before u start have him play with u with it, then u finish with him. then we got the coc ring, which u put on him for him to last longer, it made the sex about plaseing eahcother not having a baby, along with the prenatal vits i took, i am not 1 week and 4 days late.. " maybe maybe"
hope it goes well for u....

Answer 5

HaHa .. but yeah i agree the fact that he was getting money to have sex with her.. i'd say that is just a definition of prostitution so if i were the guy who paid the €2000 i'd just have kept it quiet As for the judge i'd simply say .. they all had a bad ending just leave it at that The wife didnt get pregnant The guy lost €2000 The other guy found out his wife had an affair and he'd raised 2 kids that werent his (but hey he got a lot of paid sex and his own back on HIS cheating wife) and His wife had her affair exposed and now will more than likely hav to go through a divorce... Bad day for all i'd send them all home and tell them they were all stupid- get over it ! LOL :D

Answer 6

Oh Chloe, i'm really sorry to hear you are feeling so upset - i've been ttc for months n months now and i'm frustrated, so i can completely understand how you must be feeling 4 years later..but i think don't lose hope completely yet, i've known friends who have tried for 4 years and then finally got pregnant...someone told me that a womens body can develop antibodies that fight off sperm after ttc too much..women have got pregnant after giving up sex for two months and then trying to ttc again.. i was wondering if this could be an option for you..simply not trying might surprise you.. give it a go hun xx

Answer 7

I'm giving myself three more months and I'm resigning as well. Hey my feeling is that not every one is meant to have kids. Maybe that's me and I just have to accept that. My advise is "let go and let God". If it's going to happen it is, if not you can keep your smoking hot body while all your friends, and mine, worry about their saggy post baby bellies and stretch marks. See, ever cloud has a silver lining! Just think of your high school reunion. Besides they say that in the long run couples without children are happier than those who do. Good luck and maybe when the times right it will happen. If not, bikini's forever! ha ha..... well it sounds good anyway.

Answer 8

I am in the same place as you right now. I've tried everything, from eating right, giving up caffeine, alcohol....taking folate for years, getting checks that I am ovulating but still nothing. I have my ups and downs and see all my friends having babies too. At times I really distance myself. However, we shouldn't let ourselves get depressed and stressed because it doesn't help.