Is the major aspects of relationships just plain selfishness?

Question

A typical example. We want a good relationship which makes "us" feel happy. A partner who makes "us" feel valued and cherished or whatever.
A person who adapts to "our" values.

So if I look on these goals many people have concerning relationships, I indeed see a big selfish part in it. The partner has to do something for us or we dump him or we are upset with him or her.
What is important for you in a relationship? Is is selfish or self less, be honest?-:)

Answer 1

Selfishness manifests in many ways... sometimes so very evil.... however, when it takes the shape of interdependence, relationships are born.

Great question.... thanks for raising it bluntly, for love is a highly romanticized concept least found in practical reality.

Answer 2

Selfishness means that the there is not good verbal replace. If the guy is purely egocentric inherently, then that would desire to make it the kind one problem. regrettably this looks further and extra user-friendly, infants are raised to think of of themselves rather of team attempt. Abuse additionally contributes a great deal to narcissism. i've got considered on the information recently matters of selfishness in all human beings. people who see a woman getting abused by utilising her boyfriend on the line are better than in all probability unlikely to intervene, that's a extreme occasion of it. they're extra in touch approximately their own secure practices, that's egocentric. some people who're in abusive relationships will attempt and communicate with the guy who's so abusive. yet those all human beings is so egocentric and offended that it does not paintings. verbal replace is impossible with this sort of selfishness. So what i'm saying is that it takes each and every sort in any respect stages. In some relationships verbal replace is the kind one concern. In others that's selfishness and mistrust blended. If a individual has a extreme loss of have faith and is fairly egocentric there is not any thank you to communicate. this sort is fairly a results of being unable to have faith at a youthful extra vulnerable age, usually their mum and dad. They then become ate up in something which will please them, to obtain the life and love they have self belief they deserve. they're narcissistic, they generally do in comparison to themselves so as that they are smitten by utilising their own egos. Hedonism in that's purest sort, all human beings is hedonistic, yet there's a cut back with some human beings. So it fairly relies upon... Awe Chris N, i admire your answer! that's the lacking piece in many relationships, i think of you're able to obtain suitable answer. :-) My husband and that i are the very comparable way.

Answer 3

Actually, I had some thoughts about this sort of thing recently.

Normally we are allowed only one mate. How do we choose that mate? We wind up having to make material calculations.

Can I take this person's health condition, their financial condition, their mental condition and so on?

What about other people?

Similarly, we may have a circle of friends. How do we choose a friend? What about those who did not fit into our circle of friends?

I have found I need to work on remembering that everyone has feelings. But, it is an interesting platform of consciousness to achieve.

Answer 4

For a relationship (whether it's love, friendship or business) to be successful, there has to be something in it for both sides.

If one person invests all of themselves and receives nothing in return, this is not a relationship, it is an obsession.

In my relationship with my wife, it is important that she shows me unconditional love in the way I do to her. We both have to work at our relationship, because it would be easy to take each other for granted and ignore each others needs. This can be something as simple as me buying her flowers, or her cooking my favourite meal.

Answer 5

It has to be a balance of both. In relationships you should always be willing to give more then your loved one. And if you find that perfect fit for ya, they are willing to do that same. So it's a constant give and take.