Ok, this is what happened. me and my husband had a big fight and I said I was going to leave him because I'm sick of arguing in front of the kids. So then like always he ran home to his mums and expects to come home and everything be fine in a few days. And when he called in 3 days I said I didnt want him back, so then his mum called me up called me a f.ck.ng c.nt and a ***** and selfish and was yelling at me swearing, I didnt relatiate because she is pathetic 4 doing that and then my husband gets on the phone and sticks up for his mum and his mum says to me I have to get all my stuff and the kids out the house. So I left and my husband stood up for his mum and called me those horrible things too. Then the next day he rings me crying saying he wants me back. I'm not going back because he cant treat me like that and expect me to put up with it. would you put up with that?
2007-08-13 21:34:41 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No I would not! and if I did take my husband back his mother could stay away from me. She had no right to speak to you like that and should of had some class about herself to stay out of it. Her son is old enough to fight his own battles and respect you enough to keep it between the two you. It's one thing for a mother inlaw to be helpful to the both of you but what she did and how she reacted to it was another. All your husband did was drive the wedge deeper by allowing her to get involved! You will never forget those words from her and will never be comfortable around her after that even if you and your husband work it all out? He can just thank himself for that! She needs to let her son work out his own problems because it sounds like your husbands problems come from his mother. The way he backed his mother up against you shows that neither one of them have any respect for themselves or you!!! They both need help and need to go to counseling together and get some anger management skills. I mean this sincerely ...if you and your husband work all this out get into mariage counseling together and keep his mother out of it. Never put up with her being emotionally abusive to you ever again. If he wants to visit mom he can do it on his own because as far as I would be concerned I would not have anything left to say to my mother inlaw. If all of you ever do work through all of this it would be a long time and the mother inlaw would learn to keep her mouth shut and learn not to stick her foot in it to spite her face!! Best wishes to you and take care.
2007-08-14 02:41:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I ask first..why did you marry this guy? After that I am saying , he has problems you cannot even begin to touch even with years of therapy. Your children matter and what they learn to lead good lives is going to have to come from you.
It is possible he has physical problems so if you can ever convince him to go the doctor he might get some help.
I do not see a reason for your children to go through much more, but you also have to remember to not bad mouth him at anytime. He might realy be ill, you know.
2007-08-14 12:35:03 · answer #2 · answered by Winnie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would not have put up with him talking to me that way in addition to his mother that would have either stopped or I would have been gone a long time ago. However, I would not take my children and get out of the house. I would have his things sent to his mothers and changed the locks as well as the phone number. Good luck,
2007-08-15 13:45:50 · answer #3 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This will be a continuing cycle for the rest of your life if you take him back. If they don't have any more respect and love for the kids than to tell you to pack up and get out with them then they are worthless. Let him continue to cry. His mother will not ever change. If it were me i would hear in my head every day the awful things she said to me.
For the sake of the children, get out, get a lawyer and make sure she doesn't see the kids.
2007-08-14 14:47:45 · answer #4 · answered by country girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that he should live with his mother if she is so wonderful for calling you names. She should have better sense than that. Move on and keep your children away from the fighting if he can't be respectful to you and your children by acting right. Why did you have to leave the house? Why isn't the house in both of your names?
Tell him that if he wants you back, you want a house in both names, you want his mother to apologize to you, and you want him to stop arguing in front of the children!!!
2007-08-14 04:49:14 · answer #5 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Both of you are supposed to do your best not to get your in-laws involved in all of your marital arguments/problems. like for your case, each time your husband runs to his mother and tells her about the problems you look worse and worse in her eyes.
If you cannot work on your problems with just yourselves, then it is best to seek a marital counselor so there is a neutral third party helping you out.
Your husband is not being mature about this marriage when he has to run to his mother for everything.
This is going to be such a complicated situation to work on if you want to ever get back together and work things out. You REALLY would have to get marital counseling. His mother's view of you and the way she spoke to you are a whole other issue you would all have to work on. Its not going to be as easy as your husband saying, "mom, she REALLY is a great person"...nope... he has already painted you in a bad light with her so it would take a lot for her to change her opinion of you.
2007-08-14 05:18:06 · answer #6 · answered by Twizzle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From the write-ups itself I felt horrible experience. Why r waiting for separation even after such humiliation. Are your kids grown ups. Would be able to stand alone and take care of yourself and kids. Then what for you are waiting. Your husband really doesn't love you. Let him stay with him mum for the rest of the life, otherwise you are going to spoil yourself and the atmosphere for your children.
2007-08-14 04:49:59 · answer #7 · answered by BLOWHOT 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no girl u where right!!!!! u married a woes!! and a mummies boy!!!
u need a man. he is so fragile and fickle that he doesn't have his own mind set, backing up his mother but wanting u all the same-NO.
but.....i also don't believe to give up on marriage so quickly, what he is doing is emotionally abusing u and there is a way to solve it. consulting. unfortunately u cant just think of ur self there is ur children too, and u owe it to them to at-least try.
so that if they one day ask u about it, u can say u walked away after fighting to make things work.
2007-08-14 04:44:20 · answer #8 · answered by Phoenix21 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that they both came out and called you names, shows that neither of them have much respect for you and mommy boys are the worst kind of guy to marry, as you marry their mother as well. Stand your ground and ask him who does he wish to married to?, you or his mum?. If he picks you, then come out and say he'd better not speak to you like that again and if he chooses to be a mommy's boy then do so, but without you. Good luck
2007-08-14 05:21:51 · answer #9 · answered by Live_For_Today 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He definitely is a momma's boy and he needs to grow up and she needs to stop interfering.... but I would not go back till he agreed to go to some type of counseling and for right now I would stay separated until things calm down and you both get into counseling...
2007-08-14 05:42:58 · answer #10 · answered by Renee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋