I'm female. Ive become friends with this girl i met at the library. We do lots of things together and she's become a good friend and sometimes babysits my child. The other night she told me she used to be a call girl. (now she has a regular decent job).
I dont know if i want to be friends with her anymore. Im not judging but i just dont think I want someone who's bee thru that kind of life, around my family...who knows what kind of bad habits and screwed up mentality they ve picked up a long the way.
2007-08-13 20:43:25 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hello to all the rude ones. She may have a decent job now but how do i know what she does on her off time? drugs? more callgirl activities? are there any guys stalking her?
yeah no ones perfect and its too bad she had to resort to that kind of job or did it cause she liked the "high life". to each his own. but when family is involved i get protective. how is being protective wrong?
2007-08-13 21:02:03 · update #1
You say you're not judging, but yet you are.
There are more missing pieces that need to be filled in before one can successfully answer this question. How long have you known her? Had you suspected that she had this type of history? Has she displayed any worrisome habits?
You mention twice in your question that you're "friends" with her, so subconsciously, you haven't completely written her off yet. Do you want to keep being friends with her?.. If so, you need to accept her for who she is; dirty past and all.
Many people do things when they are younger that they are not proud of. A call girl is much different from a common street-walking hooker; I think you might be getting the two confused. A call girl is higher class, better paid, usually has a body guard who goes with her or some other form of protection. Call girls often are gone over meticulously to make sure that they are free from drugs and diseases; Escort services do not want a coke-head to bring trouble to their business. Those who work as call girls are frequently "good girls" who are in need of money, attracted to a high lifestyle and want the money, and are comfortable enough with their body to have sex for money.
If there had been "bad habits" and a "screwed up mentality" you would've noticed them by now from your friend.
Asking her more questions about it might help you to understand why she took the job and if she did pick up any negativity from it. In the end, you're the only one who can decide if you're comfortable enough with her past history to be friends with her or not. Take a few days to think about the situation and contemplate on the friendship. Everyone does stupid things when they are young; some more stupid than others.
Is her friendship worth keeping or not?
Sorry for so many questions in reply to your question, but I think you're really the only one who can make this deciscion.
2007-08-13 20:59:25 · answer #1 · answered by .jess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question you should ask is "what kind of person are you?" She has a decent life now and as the saying goes, "that which doesn't kill you makes you stronger." Even the Pope WAS a member of the Hitler Youth long ago.
People should be judged on where they are in life; not how they got there. She showed a certain degree of trust in revealing her past to you (she didn't have to). So you repay that trust by being shallow? Turning your back on her. She is the same person now as she was b4 you knew this about her. Only YOUR attitude is different.
I say consider it an honor she entrusted you, use this friendship to help show her the right path, and show your family how NOT to be shallow and judgmental...
2007-08-13 20:55:56 · answer #2 · answered by D4gotten1 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At least she has a regular job now and she told you. As long as you feel that you can trust her then there should be nothing wrong. I knew a call girl once and I told her that she should become a model, she told me she was in it for the money but she did not like it. When I saw her again she was in a clothing catolog for a huge uniform providor. Not all call girls, strippers etc are bad or do drugs. Just remember people change, give her a chance, she trusted you enough to tell you, don't let it hinder the relationship that you already have.
2007-08-13 20:55:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you say your not, but you ARE judging her! I think you're honestly thinking more about yourself than your family. I mean, how often is this woman over in comparison to how much time you spend with her. Quit looking for excuses to get out of a friendship with her and using your family as a shield! She was a call girl, not a prostitute..well..at least not a physical one. She got paid to keep a guy company over the phone, and I'm sure she got paid well doing it. Stop judging her by her job, that's rude. She needed a way to pay the bills, and it's a job..someone's gotta do it. I'm sure you've done some stupid things yourself...
Maybe you should say something to her, tell her how you really feel...shed some light upon this subject to her...and give her the opportunity to see what kind of person you really are! After that, you won't have to deal with her...trust me. I wouldn't want to put up with someone as judgemental as you either.
2007-08-13 20:52:21 · answer #4 · answered by Marissa 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well if she's told you this it obviously means she feels she has nothing to hide or be ashamed of. Since you've called her new job decent it does kind of mean you're judging her past, and to a certain extent that's warranted, after all you do have a family... but remember you're friends with her, and she doesn’t deserve to be punished for telling you the truth, she’s trusted you so maybe it'd be nice to give her a chance too?
2007-08-13 21:03:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How would you feel if you were in her shoes and thing the same way about you? Everything is fine till you found out her past. I know alot of great people who have things in there past that I don't like but it happened in the past, so it should stay in the past. It would be different if she is trying to get you and your family involved but she's not. She's moving on with her life. Until she gives you a very good reason to stop being friends with her then you really have no reason to stop being friends with her. If you stop being friends with her just because of that you are juging her and you are the one with the problem not her.
2007-08-13 20:56:15 · answer #6 · answered by jasmine 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This....
"Im not judging "
followed by this.....
"dont think I want someone who's bee thru that kind of life, around my family...who knows what kind of bad habits and screwed up mentality they ve picked up a long the way."
Is the epitome of hypocrisy
2007-08-13 20:52:01 · answer #7 · answered by Michael H 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its your family.. that makes a big difference.. but the only real way to know if she has changed is to get to know her better. You said until you knew that her job was that she was a call girl.. you two were friends and you even let her watch your daughter.. WHAT CHANGED??? Only your knowlege of the situation changed.. if you feel you can't trust her .. well then I would say its best to not be friends.. Besides.. what kind of friend would you be to her if you didn't trust her. A relationship without trust means nothing...
2007-08-13 21:28:23 · answer #8 · answered by Kristen M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think you should judge this girl right away...her telling you what kind of life she led before only shows that she has turned a new leaf and is trying to get her life back on track...she wouldn't also trust you with her secret unless she cares about you...she might have made a mistake once...give her a chance...if it will make you feel more comfortable tell her that you like her as a friend but that you will not stand it if she goes back to her old habits...she will appreciate your honesty and your concern for her
2007-08-13 20:50:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey don't judge her out right, she may have lived a life like that but I don't think she chosed that kind of life to live before, now you said that she has changed, maybe reformed is more proper to described that, give her a chance and if you see something bad about her then leave her company.
2007-08-13 20:58:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋