you do divorce her or seperate with her to stay with your children please tell me what i have to do
2007-08-13 19:25:23 · 19 answers · asked by salim a 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
wow omg ur such an asshole
go kill yurself
2007-08-13 19:27:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Divorce? If you really don't love her you risk hurting her more in a separation because she may see hope that you'll get back together which can leave her and you feeling worse. Just make sure it's what you really want and you're not just having a mid-life thing. If you do go that route don't complain about paying child support or alimony. She gave her body and her heart to have four children of yours which is something she can never take back. And raising one child is tough enough let alone four. There's nothing that makes a weaker man than one who bails out all together!
FYI: If you "SUDDENLY" find your self out of love, you need to give it more time! Don't be rash! Everyone goes through that from time to time and half the time it has nothing to do with the other person or your love life. Usually it's stress!
2007-08-13 19:39:26 · answer #2 · answered by kikib731 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You try counselling to see if you can regain the relationship. If that doesn't work, you move to seperate and see if being apart makes you miss each other (of course you will support them while you are apart!). If you decide divorce is the only answer you will fairly divide your belongings, set up visitation for the children and move on with your life.
It is emotionally, financially, spiritually and physically draining and stressful to live in a marriage without love, but it is all of those things to dissolve a marriage. And the damage it does to the children can be long lasting .......please stay involved in their lives as more than a weekend dad and support check.
2007-08-13 19:37:03 · answer #3 · answered by dizzkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Prepare to pay lots of money every month for child support!!
Lots....Is she a stay at home mom? Then pay her rent,and bills....Try to work it out,find the love again...Let me guess you have been married.... 7 or the 11 years.
My brother in law was married had 4 kids 3 boys one girl. They split the 2 older kids with him and she had the younger. But his whole paycheck for the kids is about $700.00 leaves him nothing.. She is also an RN and makes about 27, 28 dollars and hour.... He lives in a shack,the doors won't close,front that is. He pays $350.00 a month for that. He has very little to spend,on food,and gas.
The ex lives in a 2 story home that she is buying,new cars....
Why do you sound so desperate? You owe her and those children of yours a chance to try at least...I think you are just at one of those years in the marriage,like 7 years itch..Mine was 11 years.. Tell us how long you been married?
2007-08-13 19:37:13 · answer #4 · answered by Lucky 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You say you 'suddenly find you don't love her'. Did something happen to change your feelings? During marriages, there are times when there is much love and other times when there is a lull in between. This is normal. Ask yourself if this is what is happening?
Do not make any fast decisions. You have to dig deep and realize your true feelings.
If there's a chance to save a marriage, I always say, give it a chance. Work on any issues that are bothering you. Communication is essential.
If the marriage is truly dead, then it is better to part in my opinion. Why show children a loveless marriage?
I hope this helps.
2007-08-13 19:35:45 · answer #5 · answered by Marguerite 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You must look in to your heart and see why did your feelings change for her.If it's something that you don't like in her way or actions then remember all the good times that you guys had when you first got married.
Learn to accept all her faults and take her the way she is in sickness and in health.and remember you have faults too.
Take her out a way from the children and tell her you feel distanced ,don't say you don't love her and hurt her feelings and scare her for ever ,just tell her that you need her help to be together and feel the same as the old days.
Don't try to break try to build ,you have 4 kids ,separating will destroy their lives ,hers and yours.
Even if you thought you'd marry another woman ,after a while you'll feel the same.
Try to resolve things together with your partner ,go out a lone,enjoy life and remember what a good life you had and try to revive it .
Good luck.
2007-08-13 19:46:56 · answer #6 · answered by noona 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK almost everyone here is being a real asshole to you so I'm not cause in reality **** like this happens everyday to people and they have to make this choice so I'm not gonna ridicule or criticize you like these other **** heads who most likely don't know what it feels like for you or your family so here's my advice there is no way everyone is gonna be happy and a divorce well most likely make everyone unhappy i know this might sound bad but you gotta leave and never come back leave your wife a note expressing everything pack your stuff and go and follow your dreams but make sure you send a check every month and if your not prepared to do that you'll be stuck with your wife that you don't love possibly a divorce and all the resentment in the world on your shoulders
2007-08-14 02:23:45 · answer #7 · answered by smart person 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
What a DOG you are ! You don't deserve your wife !!! She deserves a much better man than you....she's had four of your babies for you and suddenly find yourself not in love anymore? Divorce her so she has a chance to be happy in this life with someone else besides you. Leave the kids with her too....they need to grow up with someone honorable...not you.
2007-08-13 19:39:18 · answer #8 · answered by aknana 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you can not bear to live with your wife, it is best to seperate for a bit. for the sake of the children it is not good for them to be in an unhappy home with you 2 fighting
2007-08-13 19:32:42 · answer #9 · answered by Ladyofdubai 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
typically you get a legal separation first that way any bills or financial responsiblities can be held against either party. then make sure you are 100% sure first but then typically you will file for a divorce. but i would suggest you go to therapy first. you fell in love with this woman for a reason in the first place. maybe you just aren't connecting anymore
2007-08-13 19:30:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It depends on whether you are just looking at younger women, or you have truly grown apart. If you leave her, you will need to pay her child support and spousal support. You might want to get some marital counseling before yoyu make such a huge decision.
2007-08-13 19:45:39 · answer #11 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋