My wife filed for divorce in late May. She moved out two weeks later. I found out she was having an affair and now she has even introduced him to our teenage kids as a friend of hers from work. Problem is, I coach youth sports and my daughter cheers for my team. My soon to be ex says she sees no reason why he cant attend games with her that I am coaching and my daughter is cheering for. That would make me completely insane and she knows that. I swear to you guys I never did anything to deserve this and I am not looking for sympathy.Can I have a restraining order filed to prevent her from bringing him anywhere near me? My son also plays sports and she says he will be there also. We are not divorced yet and my son already figured out he is more than just a friend and he hates it. I do not want to be put into that type of a situation especially in that type of venue!
2007-08-13 18:12:36 · 13 answers · asked by da_catcar 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My advice to you is get a good attorney and find out what you can do legally.
Best wishes.
2007-08-13 18:18:48 · answer #1 · answered by Proud to be 59 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
She made this decision she was bored and something different came along,she felt flattered and she took the bait.. I know,I have been there.. I believe he will now be a part of her life for now,so you are going to have to be the bigger man! Just for your peace of mind,as a women who felt flattered,and did what she did, it is never greener on the other side.She will soon see this.
Set a good example for your children! Yes,it will be tough ,but proove to yourself, then to them you are going to be this just fine!!!
Don't watch them, knowing what a Biotch she is ,and maybe she is hoping you will respond negativly...Then she can file for the kids and get a restraining order against you!
Sorry, but she is a person you don't need around you..
If your son is old enough to say, mom stop lying, he is more than your friend. That will shock her.I know she does not think he see right through that! She doesn't know how bad she is hurting him.. You, have to buck up and be better then she expects from you... Most of all, what a great dad for setting great examples for you kids. Take nice deep breaths, you are there to Coach,focus on the game,nothing else...
Repeat over and over, it's not worth it, they are not worth it. Be a bigger man and you approach them and introduce yourself as her husband.. They would never expect that,and you get to see the looks on their faces.. He would have a heart attack. Look him in the eyes and don't be intimidating,you will be that for sure! Don't look away from their eyes...You have to meet him sooner or later,get it over with!
. If you feel you might lose control at the game,bring some male friends along,to remind you !!!! It is not with it. What if this is a ploy to provoke you? You can't go to jail? You can't afford for you son or the baseball team,their parents.
Good luck!
2007-08-13 18:45:17 · answer #2 · answered by Lucky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, but just because your wife is a complete moron who thinks nothing of her children's feelings - it is not a legal reason to get a restraining order against him.
Restraining orders are for when you feel you could be in harms way around the person - you are just going to be hurt, humiliated and embarassed.
feel free to tell your children that it is ok to let mom know how they feel about it though.
Get your kids into counseling before the divorce starts (so she can't stop you), and make sure in any temporary order that it is mandatory throughout the divorce - they are going to need it.
2007-08-13 18:21:15 · answer #3 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but No. You cannot have a restraining order placed on the man just because you don't want him to attend the events. It sounds to me like your soon to be ex-wife is just doing it on purpose. But, you are also going to have to get used to the fact that she will be dating new men and that your children will be subjected to it as she sees fit. Not exactly fair, but really nothing that can be done. Same would go for you and whomever you decided to date. When you introduce that person to your family is upto you, not your ex. Sounds like your son is old enough to confront his mother with the situation. If he has a problem with what is going on, he should share this with his mother. Maybe that will prohibit her from bringing this man in so close so soon. Hopefully anyway. Good Luck and best wishes!
2007-08-13 18:19:50 · answer #4 · answered by Tiffany H 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you can only get a restraining order if there is some type of abusive or violent behavior.
The one good thing about having him around would be to see how he treats your children. If your wife (soon to be ex) is so insensitive to her own children's needs, is it possible to request custody of the kids?
I was in a similiar situation and was polite but disinterested on the outside- said hello and goodbye and focused solely on my kids even when my insides were screaming. My children needed to see me being the adult even when I was uncomfortable and they knew that, too. I would let my ex know that I was uncomfortable and would prefer his girl of the moment not attend our kid's activities and my kids knew I had asked this, but ultimately it was up to him how he chose to present himself and his relationship. In the long run, it has pushed the kids away from him which I am sorry for, but it is his choice, just as it is your ex-wifes. You can only choose how you react- believe you are a worthwhile human being who was treated badly, act with dignity, accept with grace and focus on your kids activities and ignore the jerks as best you can!
I am cheering for you!
2007-08-13 19:29:04 · answer #5 · answered by dizzkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think in most states he would actually have to do something threatening to you. If there's any possible way to speak to your wife rationally and tell her how you feel maybe she would understand and give her childrens father atleast the respect not to bring him to places where you will be, atleast for now. I mean your not even divorced yet. Explain that it would also put the kids in an awkward situation and I think it really would.
Good Luck!
2007-08-13 18:21:45 · answer #6 · answered by julia b 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know I really need to know the answer to that also. My ex wants to put a restraining order on my current girlfriend (my ex thinks we had an affiar, we didn't) because she dosen't like her. She thinks she is trying to take over her kids. I am in the same situation but on the other end. I wish you luck and just take care of your kids the best you can....
2007-08-13 18:20:15 · answer #7 · answered by conserned father 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Technically you can only file a restraining order if a person is trying to physically harm you just to keep them away. But (you no there is always a but) since she wants to play dirty so can you just tell the police he threaten you and said he would kill you and they will give you one. He wont be able to come near you or your kids! Good luck...
2007-08-13 18:24:07 · answer #8 · answered by Mz Ty 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Im sorry but you cant unless he has threatened you or your kids in any way. You just have to accept that their will be other guys in her life and your childrens, just like she will have to accept any women you meet. Be the bigger person here. Good luck
2007-08-13 21:15:47 · answer #9 · answered by jasmine 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im sorry for what you and the kids are going throught but i dont think that you can prevent her from seeing the kids,
in a public place but i would may let her know how the kids
feel about him being there. also talk to your lawyer and see
what can be done. especially for the kids sake.
2007-08-13 18:20:36 · answer #10 · answered by luckystar 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't get a restraining order unless he threatens you with bodily harm. Sorry your just going to have to be the bigger man and ignore it.
2007-08-13 18:18:46 · answer #11 · answered by Windy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋