What kind of person does this make me?

Question

I went to a 6-week summer camp where several problems arose concerning my mother who I didn't talk to in 7 years due to drugs problems. My stepmom was criticizing me, lessening my self-confidence as usual over the phone. In addition, the people at the camp didn't have set morals, they seemed off somehow and I felt sooo out of character, pressuring me into admitting to stuff that wasn't even true. I felt like I was going to die, literally, I just wanted to drop through the floor. Unfortunately, there was a guy there that seemed normal, so I talked to him as a friend and he shared his really bad family problems with me. He got sooo annoying, though. But I am too nice, I admit. I really am. The last night at camp, he snuck out to hang out. Literally, just hang out. It was 3am when he called and I was asleep. When we met, I was still half asleep and we (17 yrs old, I'm 15) talked about random stuff, then he kissed me and I was so drained, so stressed (if I can blame it on that..

God, please help me.) and he continued to do more stuff and I kissed him back. My mind felt so blank, like I wasn't there. I hated it, but at the same time, I felt like air, I felt invisible. Which leads to my problem, I have a boyfriend. I hate the guy from camp, I dont want anything to do with him. I am NOT the kind of person that would do that. I am so lost, and it's hard to forget about it. Is there any way that the stress makes it any less bad, any ways to feel better and rise above this issue without ruining a relationship that happens to mean the world to me?

Answer 1

I think the response you're looking for is "very young", and that is your answer in a nutshell. At no other time in your life are you more likely to exhibit seemingly contradictory & conflicting behavior than you are right now. Is this an implied license to kill? Not exactly, but it is an understanding of the fluctuating nature of your emotional development during your teenaged years. So, you've got to give yourself some semblance of a break here. In future days you'll steer clear of situations like this because you'll realize all too well where things like this can lead as they innocently snowball into an avalanche. You'll know this in part because of this experience, and before long you'll be giving some lesser experienced soul valuable advice based on what you know of life to date. But this is where it all begins, as it did with most of us, and our stories are usually remarkably similar.

Answer 2

Hey,don't be down on yourself..as long as you were not forced. That's a tough situation,but it doesn't make you less of a 15 year old girl. It is very confusing as well. If you are so upset,confused about this,talk with someone you can trust. Someone who will not judge you.. You are still a good person.. You know as a women,I have been in that situation with a man boss. I had no way out.I was thinking everything you were thinking..I just didn't know how to get out of the situation..So,your OK..Don't be so down on yourself. I don't think Step mom knows she is just knocking you down all the time. Sometimes as mothers,we really can't see it... Talk to your father about how she never says anything nice,nothing... He might start paying attention and see what you are going through... Accept this happened and you didn't know how to stop the situation...Let it go so you can forgive yourself..

Answer 3

For now on stop being so nice to everone. Follow your instincts if someone is giving you a weird vibe just leave them alone. And if your in a group of people where no one seems to share the same morals just leave. There's no need to surround yourself with people who bring you down.

Answer 4

He took advantage of the opportunity (last night at camp) and you (you probably were so exhausted you slept through part of it).

Learn from this lesson for the future. It doesn't reflect on you as a person or your current relationship.

If possible, I would forget it happened.