[hearts;]HELP PLZ!!!!!!l!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLZ OMG IT'S EXTREMELY IMPORTANT!?

Question

[♥]Can I have a lot of answers plzz!!!?
*I'm 14
*I have BAD writer's block when a topic is thrown @ me.
*I hate poetry sometimes, especially when I have to write it.
*I had to do an ode peom...topic is the 'beach'.
*I know it kinda sucks, so you don't have to tell me LOL...just say what I should change and if you thinks it's okay.

Ode to the Beach

Sand
Seashells
Jellyfish
Shore
Water
Seagulls
Sun
Sandcastles
Ocean
Fish

The water hits the shore
As the seagulls fly overhead
The sand covers the ground
Like a broad bedspread

On the sand, seashells sprawl
With the jellyfish that were swept
By the waves, out of the ocean
Where they once slept.

The sun sits above the water
Like a big yellow sphere
It warms the beachgoers
And the boardwalk that stands near.

The peerless sandcastles
And the appealing palm trees
The myriad fish in the sea,
This is why I adore the beach.

Answer 1

I kind of skimmed through the poem, sorry; now I'm looking at it in detail, and the descriptions are decent. But what is a "broad bedspread?" Broad just seems too mechanical; more something like a carpenter would use, or referring to something inflexible. Try "wide" or something. "And the boardwalk that stands near" is off rhythm, take off the "and," people will know its referring to the the sun. And finally, the last line, "this is why I adore the beach," needs to be changed completely. My teachers always say to "show, not tell," that is, don't describe all these things, showing us you love the beach, then saying it anyway. Make something up about the fish, maybe showing their happiness in the water, thus representing your adoration of the beach? I don't know, stupid idea; but change it. Other than that (sorry, sorry) it's a great poem for a fourteen-year-old. Keep it up!

Answer 2

Okay...listen closely: start over. You're writing an "Ode", that means you need to speak "to" the beach in your poem, to "praise" it, to tell it about its charms and describe how it moves you on a personal level. Additionally, if it was supposed to be in regular form, you'd want to write it in iambic pentameter...something like,

"Oh, Beach, you vast and lovely stretch of sand
Your shore is strewn with seashells, sun and those
Who build sandcastles near the ocean tide
Where water waits a chance to lick their toes
Where seagulls call to fish to come and play
While I praise you, and jellyfish, all day"

Good luck :)

Answer 3

that's super however the final paragraph desires some artwork ... How approximately: little ones development sand castles, Palm timber swaying interior the breeze, Oh I prefer to spend my days ... enjoyable by ability of the sea! or in basic terms artwork on the rhyming slightly! otherwise it particularly is sturdy for a 14 year previous! i'm inspired! sturdy success with it! =) **************************************...

Answer 4

For someone that doesn't like poetry you do have a knack for it. You're descriptive, the symmetry of your writing flows, I like it. You're 14 years old you've got plenty of time to become a professional.

Answer 5

It's pretty cool I like the emotion that it captures kind of like a photograph for feelings.

Answer 6

its nice, you shouldn't change a thing!