My husband wants to move to san diego to be near his family whom he isnt particularly emotionally close with who live north of portland or. I want to move to virginia which is only 500 miles from my family. he says it isnt fair because we have always lived closer to my family. I dont think that 960 miles away is really close enough to his family to move there. putting me a couple thousand miles from my family which is really close knit. i think it just kind of leaves us away from everyone we love. should i just give in? i just moved back to the states from following him to japan for a year.
2007-08-13 15:55:05 · 9 answers · asked by specialmama 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
the job and money are the same either place we're military
2007-08-13 16:04:35 · update #1
that is a tough one! i would not move away from family that you have been close to, to be with family that you have not been close to...doesn't really make sense to me. if you just give in, you might start to resent it....personally i wouldn't, but its hard to tell you what you should do...
and i also agree with the other answer, that you should look at where you will be stable with your own family....and then you should look at the location of the closer family that you were used to living by.
yeah, we are in the military also here, and we live close to my parents and family right now for the same reason....they have always been closer and more involved with our lives...and his family is mostly for holidays and stuff like that...so i totally know how you are feeling....and if i moved closer to his family i would feel lost and out of place, and would really miss that closeness that i have now....but its hard to tell him that you know?
2007-08-13 16:02:03 · answer #1 · answered by Andrea 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either way you guys would have to travel to see someone's family.
Considering the areas you are mentioning, military is involved and he is given a choice?
You two are married and need to explore the two areas to see what area you both like the best. I personally would pick San Diego! I LOVE San Diego, there is a lot of shopping and a lot of things to do year round. Great weather year round!
People can always travel to see family and you two being married need to live with each other, not with your family or his family.
Granted family is important and people should spend as much time as possible with family. However, marriage should last until death due your part and should put that as the primary decision maker.
2007-08-13 16:10:52 · answer #2 · answered by LyndasCa 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could move to San Diego, jets can take you a couple of thousand miles in a few short hours.
2007-08-13 16:08:53 · answer #3 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't give up living close to your family if that is what is important to you. Each of you should seperately write a list of pros and cons for each location and then see where you can and can;t compromise... hopefully you can come to some kind of agreement
2007-08-13 16:09:29 · answer #4 · answered by Meg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i live in houston with my gf (practically married). her family is slowly moving away to san antonio. 2.5 hours away. she has mentioned about wanting to move out there later in life. i am no go on this. my career keeps me here for a very long time. compromise is maybe moving to oklahoma and being in the middle.
2007-08-13 16:51:23 · answer #5 · answered by partly smart 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where is the money?
Where is the best job?
It's not a matter of family, and if it comes to that, then it's a matter of where is the best place to get a job and have a career in order to support your life.
2007-08-13 16:01:10 · answer #6 · answered by MommaBear 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well you know girl i think you should compromise if that is what you want to do, you know there are also alot of other factors like cost of living, income, weather, locations, that make you decide wear to live, make a list of pros and cons of both, and make sure your move is benefits to all areas of your lives together. marriage is about compromise, where ever has the most pros move to...the other backs down...
2007-08-13 16:08:02 · answer #7 · answered by justajewelll 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweet Pea do what ever it takes to save the marriage. Just try it you never know how much you might like it. Good luck!
2007-08-13 16:02:04 · answer #8 · answered by b n real 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Meet him halfway. Move to Iowa.
2007-08-13 16:10:39 · answer #9 · answered by rtanys 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋