Divorced, but want to move my child with me out of state...?

Question

I am divorced and I know my ex will not consent to me moving our child out of state. We live in Missouri, and I want to move to Georgia with my boyfriend. I want to move to primarily get away from all the worries I have here with my ex-husband constantly trying to control our lives, even though we have been divorced 2 years now. In our divorce papers, in the parenting plan, it says I have to have written consent from him to move our daughter out of state. Well, he will not consent, so do I have to go to court and if so what do I need to prepare myself for? Is there any chance the judge would say I can't move with her? He does have a long history of DWIs and drug position, would any of this past be helpful to me moving from him? If we have to go to court, what should I expect to have to change as far as visitation rights and child support, etc? Thanks to anyone who has any answers to help me!

Answer 1

Believe me, I can relate. I went through the exact same thing trying to get away from my ex. Even with my ex in prison at the time, I still had to go to court. It's best to go prepared just in case you need it. I will say this...if you're moving to be with your boyfriend, the judge (depending on the state and his feelings at the time) might have a problem with it. You need to make sure that you have all your ducks in a row, so to speak. Why are you moving? Do you have a place to live? What about school? Do you have a job? I would also suggest keeping track of anything and everything that may happen with your ex-husband. Keeping a log is a great way to be prepared when you go to court. His past could play a role in it, especially if he is still doing the same type of stuff now. If you have primary custody now, the judge isn't going to take that away. If you have shared parenting, it may be a little more difficult as far as visitation. Child support will not change and if you really want to get away from him I wouldn't push that issue. Is the money really more important than being free from him? It sure wasn't for me. I can take care of my child on my own thank you very much. As for visitation, you could expect to have your child spend at least a month or more during the summer with your ex (make sure you get the travel arrangements and cost settled in court now) and there may be some arrangement as far as school holidays such as spring break and Christmas. I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 2

Honey, I'm afraid you won't be able to go. The reason that parenting plan is in place is for your child. Not you and certainly not the ex. It's so the child has a means to grow up knowing both parents, no matter how bad the other one may be. I know from all accounts moving would make the situation easier to deal with, however this man is going to push for you to keep the same visitation schedule and for you to do the transporting since you were the one who opted to move. If you go to court and he asks for this, he'll get it. And that's the least he'll get if you pursue the move. Plus keep in mind, the odds are not in your favor. You are trying to remove the father from the child's life in the eyes of the court....no court is going to let that happen without just cause.

I wish I had better news for you in that aspect. I do have some suggestions to make visitation and speaking with this man go a little easier. For one, send him a letter informing him that all communication must be in written form from now on with the exception of emergencies. Then if and when he calls, have your boyfriend take the calls. He's going to hate it, but it stops the control factor. On top of that, abide by the parenting plan to a "T" and write down every time he screws it up. Enough inconsistencies and you "may" have a case against him to allow a move.

Answer 3

If your sole reason is to move with a boyfriend and get away chances are a judge will block you from going. His problems with the law, if they have interupted and have been times that he is with his child that he put her in harms way and you can prove that (but probably not the case otherwise you would have taken parent visitation away by now) then you would have more backing onto a sympatetic judge.

BUT if you were married (Do not take my advice and get married to your BF just because I say so) and he had to move because of work or relocation then you may have a higher chance.

My biggest advice for you and I can't tell your age or your daughters but do not move just to follow a boyfriend. (probably not the advice you want to hear) Up rooting a child is REAL big to a kid and if it doesnt work out with BF and you end up back where you were or even alone in Georgia I can assure you he will take you to court and say you are unfit and unstable. Be prepared for that possibility

Answer 4

When my parents divorced, my mom took us out of the country. She had legal custody of us so she could do that without asking our dad. He knew she was doing it but since she had custody of us granted by a judge, he had no right to fight it even being our dad. You can take the kids anywhere you want. You were granted custody so he can't say anything even if he has rights for visitations. Our dad visited us on the weekends and when we left Puerto Rico and came to the USA, he would fly over here or we would go there with my mom. He can visit the kids in the state you are going to if he wants. You can also send the kids to him if you wanna do that. The ball is in your court. If he has nasty habits, no judge will grant him anything. Use that in court if you end up going into court cause he won't leave you alone about this. The laws will protect you and grant you what you want. You have the right to take the kids anywhere you want. By the way, you can work out child support from the state you move to, you don't need to come back to your old home state. You need to leave your boyfriend out of this when you go to court. Don't say you wanna move to be with some guy. If you have a home and a job waiting for you, then the judge will understand and let you go do what you have to do. My mom had a home and a job before she took us out of the country. Everything worked out for the best. I am 30 years old now. If you play it safe, you will be fine. Good Luck!

Answer 5

Well I don't know all the legalities of it. But you certainly will have to go to court if he refuses to sign the papers... And if he has a history of drug possesion and DWI's I would request full custody (this can be a very lengthy process) It will require an investigation on the EX to prove that he's unfit to be a father... The worse case scenario is that the judge will grant split custody which would mean your daughter would legally have to spend 6 months of the year with him and 6 with you. Moving and full custody shouldn't really affect the child support. Anyways best of luck and I would suggest finding a good lawyer.

Answer 6

You obviously need to get yourself a good lawyer. Shop around. I, too, am divorced but still live near my ex, which has caused nothing but problems for my children. If possible, talk to your ex and urge him not to go to court. If he insists then tell him his past will destroy him and possibly the judge may take away ALL visitation if he or she finds him unfit. If this doesn't work, then go to court and be prepared for anything. Your boyfriend's character may be examined, but if the judge does honor your request you will probably be made to fly your children to Missouri during vacations from school. Good luck and be sure that your boyfriend will be a good "father" to your kids. They are the ones that suffer so much more than we know. Always put them first and you can't go wrong.

Answer 7

You have a huge chance of the judge telling you that you can't take your child out of state. The dad has every right to see the child just like you. The judge could make things worse by putting a stipulation on you. If you did move and take the child, your rights could be terminated by kidnapping.. I have been there. You go through the courts and do it right. That is the only choice you really have. Stay wise, your boyfirend will have to wait. The child MUST stay first and playing by the rules puts your child first.

Answer 8

You really need to talk with any Attorney and hopefully you already have one.
It's possible that you could be denied leaving the State and if not--anytime you want to take your EX back for more child support, you'll have to travel to the State of Missouri.
If you are allowed to move, child support will remain the same, the visitation could be that your child be with your EX during certain holiday breaks and for the summer. You may also have to take and pick your child up--provide transportation for said child.
As far as his DWI's, that's something an Attorney could tell you.
Good Luck with all of this.

Answer 9

I am divorced and when I wanted to move to a different state, I filed with the courts, had him served, he did not do anything, SO I moved out of state.

CAUTION!!! Kids love their father, they do not have the same feelings that you do. Previous drug possession does not really mean he is into drugs now.. If he is not, you seriously need to consider what is best for your children and not what is best for you. Boyfriends will come and go. Children and ex-husbands are forever!

Answer 10

If that is in the divorce papers, you can't move out of state unless he consents. You have no right to move out of state and make it too hard for him to see his daughter. How would you feel if he had custody and wanted to move out of state, making it almost impossible for you to see your daughter. He has the right to have a relationship with his child. It isn't about you, it is about her. She needs her dad too, even if you two are not together anymore. She doesn't just belong to you. I hope the judge you see has the sense, not to let you do this.