What do you think of couples that stay together strictly for the kids (but aren't happy with each other)?

Answer 1

I think it's horrible, my sister and her husband are one of those couples. Their relationship has more tension than a fishing line with a shark attached. My niece is 5, and doesn't really understand what's going on, but my 9 year old nephew knows, he always wants to spend the night with me to get away from his parents arguing, I mean he's 9 and has symptoms of depression... it so sad.

Answer 2

I think everyone here gets the short end of the stick! If the parents are not happy the kids are not happy. They are smart and see and know more than you think. Kids are no reason to stay married if two people are miserable together. Children do adjust and both parents can remained involved and still always be there for their kids. Often a divorce serves more justice to the children especially if the parents are fighting and not getting along in front of them.

Answer 3

OK, when two people decide to stay married for the kids sakes, it is very wise to seriously talk and put the kids welfare first. Rules are to be made AND kept. Respect is the utmost one of all. I know. My husband and I went through a bad time a ways back.

We did put our children first. We talked to them and explained that we were still a family and we wanted them to know that we loved them. We didn't argue in front of them. And believe me it wasn't easy sometimes. We did let them know that marriage is forever not until we decide we want something else so they better make sure they know who they are marrying. It's for keeps.

Just like love is a choice, so is happiness. It's obvious that if there is abuse of any kind or drugs and alcohol, this surely does not apply but marriage is a big step and it means a major commitment. Show your kids that it takes a lot of work. over 75% of couples that stay for the kids end up finding out that they truly still love each other and repair their marriages. I know. We had 3 kids when we decided to 'separate' and now have 6! and are happily married. In fact, we are planning our 25th anniversary soon.

Answer 4

I have friends who've stayed together because of their kids and it seriously didn't work. I've watched marriages fall apart or the parents truly hate one another because of staying together. This is a situation that if you aren't happy, don't stay together because of the kids. Once you split up, they'll eventually get over it, they'll learn to live with up, plus they're resilent. I honestly wouldn't worry, you know? There's no sense in being miserable all day every day.

Answer 5

I think it's stupid. Kids aren't stupid so when the parents are staying together for the childs sake, the kids know when something is wrong in the house and that their is something missing. Plus it usually ends up messing the child up more because the parents unknowingly start leading separate lives.

If both parents can divorce or separate but still show the children they love them, but need to be happy elsewhere, the child will eventually adjust and realize it's for the best.

Answer 6

I think if they merely stay together they're doing their kids a huge disservice.

I grew up in a home with parents who have admitted they would have divorced had it not been for them having children. It was constant fighting and arguing. That created a very unpleasant home, not to mention it provided a very poor example of a marriage to me and my sister. It's turned me off of ever wanting to commit because I could end up like them, whereas my sister has gotten herself into a relationship that mirrors my parents.

However, if a couple was to stay together for their kids and actually get counselling to ensure the homelife stayed normal and happy, I'd think it's very admirable of them. When you have children their welfare should be your top priority. Having parents that are constantly fighting is going to harm the kid more than parents who split up.

Atleast that's my opinion.

Answer 7

I think that obviously,at least before the children were born,they did like each other ,at least sexually. So they should concentrate on regaining that state of mind,and hopefully by doing so ,be better role models for their children. I feel that its true that being unhappy and "faking it" for the sake of keeping family together is in and of itself a wrong choice,but if you are in the belief that there's hope and the both of you try every possible way to improve the situation,then it's a definite good choice.

Answer 8

If your gonna stick with it you just as well get your love back I know that seems hard but I have two books for you to check out Love and Respect and Cracking the communication code both by Emmerson Eggrich you can get on cd at loveandrespect.com. Oh and unhappy parents = unhappy kids do yourself a favor and beat the statistics and get your marriage back you and your kids deserve it. Good Luck and God bless

Answer 9

My parents did that and when they did get divorced I felt like they had lied to me (I was 21). I felt betrayed and like I'd been raised by hypocrits. I questioned everything my parents ever taught me from that moment on. When my parents told me they were getting a divorce it was worse then then they told me the truth about Santa Clause. For kids divorce is either a trauma when their young or a trauma when their old.

After the divorce both my parents became happier people and better parents for the experience. I still have a great relationship with both of them and I'm learning from their mistakes to keep my marriage strong.

People I know stay together for the kids and for religious reason and to them I ask "how is God glorified by you living in misery?" " How does your life of misery witness to others?"

Answer 10

My parents did that until I was 19. I think I would of ended up a way different person. I wish my mom would of gotten out sooner. Kids can tell when their parents are not happy and it reflects them. I heard way too many fights, and saw tears I wish I never saw. I say get out, don't think you are doing the children any favors, if anything it's just as hard on them if not harder. If you are happy, you children can see you are happy which makes them happy!