Isn't it condescending to say women in the sex industry are "exploited"?

Question

Provided they've made that choice for themselves? I've worked both as a Dominatrix and a a stripper in my life, and really enjoyed both. As a Dominatrix I enjoyed having my own business, making very good money, and I loved helping people accept and enjoy their sexuality. As a dancer, I made good money, got to pick and choose who I gave my time and attention to, and had a lot of fun learning pole dancing. So I find it a little insulting when other women say women are "exploited" by working in these industries, as if I was incapable of judging for myself and choosing my own path.

What are your thoughts?

Personally, I would think other entry level jobs are much more exploitive, due to the lack of decent benefits or a livable wage.

macdoodle; I've met very few women in the industry who "hated" men. On the contrary, many were married or involved in long term relationships. I haven't found sex workers attitudes towards men to differ much from the general population. BDSM work especially requires a lot of patience and sensitivity towards your clients. How did you come to this conclusion? I'm guessing not from talking to a diverse group of sex workers. Perhaps we should consider were these generalizations come from before being so apt to buy into them.

quinn,
I beg to differ. On the contrary, I have a fantastic life partner (the same man I was with throughout my entire dancing career) many friends, and a loving family who accepts my choices. Who are you to say no one respects me? Would it have been better for my self esteem to stay at the minimum wage sale position where I was expected to smile at people in the face of verbal abuse? Now THAT felt demeaning and exploitive. Afterall, I certainly wasn't any more to some people than a slave at that job.

Answer 1

Absolutely. An opinion like this is derived from two primary assumptions
1) Men have dominion over women in the realm of heterosexual sexual relations- making sexual men 'predatory' and women 'prey'.
2) A woman in a sexual role is giving something of inestimable value to the male(s)- and if they are not in love with this male (or males), and the relationship is not monogamous and private then the transaction is one-sided towards the (predatory) male and morally bankrupt- money, goods, services etc cannot be considered equitable tender for sexual favours as sex is put on a pedestal that only love or God can sanction .

This view of sex is completely conservative, outmoded and attributable mainly to the religious and to the uptight variety of feminists.

If you like my answer, feel free to pay me in sexual favours, i have no such qualms.

:D

Answer 2

I think the experience of being a dominatrix is probably a much more empowering experience than being a working girl on the street who has little choice over her customers.

I do worry about the people who run the big clubs. Suspiciously large amounts of cash flying around, lots of recreational drugs. If a girl wasn't keeping her eyes open, she could end up in a lot of trouble in an environment like that. I think that sort of environment can lead to exploitation.

I don't have a problem with people selling or buying sex. Although, I have to say, I can't believe people pay for what they could get for free if they made wise partner choices. I guess I'm just a tightwad :-)

Answer 3

Maybe not all women in your position are or feel exploited. I think maybe when someone makes a blanket statement like that, they are not necessarily meaning that every woman IS exploited, but by being in that line of work, there is a great potential for it.
You could probably take any line of work, inject your argument into it, and have a case. I am a waitress. I love my job, and not only because I make good money, but because I have a great boss, and customers I adore and I enjoy brightening their day with my smile, conversation, good natured humor, and great service, but every now and again, I feel like I am soliciting. I think maybe I need to get a "real job" with real benefits, and a steady income and not have to rely on tips, but for the moment it is working for me and I enjoy it, so I stay with it.

I would like to say to Tera, that the men visiting strip clubs do not go there to pass the time by having a drink and hanging out with the guys and the girls just HAPPEN to show up! They choose of their own accord. The girls are not responsible for these men's decisions and/or breakup of the family and home. Ya know, they could just stay home.

Answer 4

personally, I don't buy that "internalized oppression" crap that many women of my ilk tend to bandy about when discussing the sex industry. It implies, as some previous answers here have, that women are not capable of making decisions. Yes, there are women who enter the industry because they are making bad choices, or are in a situation where they dont have much of a choice, but that should not imply that they are less capable of making choices on their own.

yes, the sex industry is more likely to be exploitative of women based on their sex alone, however it does not follow that all women who are a part of it are therefore exploited.

I think the real reason that the sex industry can be exploitative of women is because it generally either makes women "invisible" in terms of our justice system. example: a prostitute gets raped. what happens to her rapists? most likely nothing because her profession means she was "asking for it" or some other such nonsense.

I have also had some experience as a Dominatrix and for me it was a matter of giving someone else something they needed. In most cases, sex and sexuality were nothing more than a means to a mutually desired end.

Answer 5

I think there's a point where it turns from a choice to exploitation. As an example, say a young girl wants to get into the business of amateur porn. She understands the basics - you're going to get screwed (literally), you will be asked to assume some uncomfortable positions and there are a few things you might be required to do, like girl on girl, ect. I think it becomes exploitation from there when the girl is lead on to do more than she was expecting or was told to do and some sort of abuse may come into play. Or she understands that she's going to be shown on a smaller market and she is getting compensated, but there's suddenly a demand for this girl and her wages increase but only slightly, whereas other people are making more money off of her than she is off of her own actions. (Not that I know anything about how the industry works, I'm just throwing this out there.)

There are other ways of exploitation, some are very public nowadays and have come under intense scrutiny from both the media, but for the sake of not starting any drama (because I don't know who will and won't read this), I'll refrain from saying further. But that's my .02

And as a side note, after reading some of the answers: my, my, my. Some of you peons really do amuse me to no end with just how narrow-minded you've still managed to remain over the years. Seriously, open your mind to both sides of the argument, don't just take your stance, slam your proverbial foot down and say "NO, and this is why and I am right and you're (insert name and insults here)." Seriously. I'm more than willing to bet that half of you are so sexually close minded that it's probably a miracle you know anything about sex and human sexuality other than the missionary position and that sperm + egg = baby.

This is the result of an overly oppressed, fundamentalist driven society. And you people wonder why most Europeans look at us and wonder why we're a country full of contradictions and hypocrisy. Honestly, you know what they love about use overseas? That we provide more porn from one single country then their entire continent produces. Know what they laugh about? The fact that we make all this porn, have all these "sex workers", have entire communities for the gay population (Castro, WeHo, ect) and yet, people still fight to make pornography illegal, that prostitution is still illegal, and that all but three states in the nation refuse to grant gay couples the same rights as married couples. Talk about a sham. Talk about shame! Funny, these aren't really hugely significant problems over there. In fact, they don't really view it as a problem and prefer to deal with more important matters - like, say poverty and unemployment.

Men will always view women as sex objects, with or without the assistance of porn. Many women will choose to enter the porn or BDSM business regardless of how she may be viewed and will always feel a sense of empowerment from it. And they've accepted this.

Why can't any of you?

Oh that's right. I forgot. The Christian thing. Shame.

Priscilla, hunnie, hats off to you and kudos! You have more balls than those who have answered this question, all combined.

...and if I had a daughter and she wanted to be a stripper or enter that type of line of work, I'd make her enroll in a self defense class first.

Answer 6

You are correct.

I am glad your experience is positive.

You are on target about beginning salaries, or for that matter salary at any level if you get stuck at minimum wages.

As far as answers goes, you have probably wide varieties of them . I did not read the answers (by now you have 36).

The two comments that you made are correct, people in this industry do have bad experience.

You just nothing but good experience and I hope, that does not change for you.

We are all individuals; so are our experiences. This is reflected in their comments.

People in this industry, when they work under " Community Guidelines"; and of their free will, without breaking any laws, usually, cannot be exploited.

Answer 7

Yes, I see it as a product or service. Anyway you look at it. The Girl has the body/service (be it just dancing or sex)and the guy has the money. A car dealer has a new car, consumers have money. A mechanic will fix that same car for you for money. WHAT'S THE F*CKING DIFFERENCE! The girls are exploiting the guys because they should "give themselves for love" but instead are CHARGING the poor guys for it. It's all nonsense, those girls jump into this trade, rake in the BOOKOO BUCKS and retire with a WAD of CASH by 30 or get a degree with the money.

Answer 8

It IS. And you're right. But you should keep in mind, many of the exploitation charges- have MORE to do with people pushing personal Agendas- than anything having to do with the exploitation of Women. The Sex Industry isn't always accepted as one of the places to make a living... :(

Answer 9

I agree. That's a bunch of bullshit. People judge people on what they do no matter what. People need to get there head out of there asses and realize that this is a part of real life. Your being realistic and just asking a question. Hell, I'd love to have the guts to do your job, I find it would be a whole new world to explore. Not allot of people are open to these "jobs" and it's a very powerful industry. Actually, I know many people who do this and there very wonderful people. They don't bring there job into there personal life.

Not everyone will accept the very openness of the sexual world that you live in. They go by there religious background or background of there family which could be strict, repressed or narrow-minded or very open. Everyone has a different opinion, but I believe that to be open and to accept people as they are ,it has made all the difference in my life.

I'm not going to lie, but I secretly love women who empower themselves. Obviously your not afraid of who you are sexually and your strong in what you believe and that is good for you. I think that you should keep doing what your doing because if you enjoy what you do, who gives a crap what anyone else thinks?

You keep your head and go against the tide, not with it.

Answer 10

It can be condescending, as not ALL women in the sex industry are exploited, but it probably fits most examples.

I think you are probably the anomaly, but there are others like you. Still, I think it fits in a lot of cases. Many women ARE exploited in one form or another. Maybe they let themselves be maybe they have no choice. Either way, I think more women in the sex industry are exploited in some form or another than there are women in the sex industry that have NOT been exploited (at least at some point in their careers).

Hope I muddied the waters a bit for ya! :)