I just got out of Court today regarding the Custody of my son. 5 Months ago his mom left state and left him with me because she was barred by Court Order and couldn't take him out of the state. Now she wants him back and wants to move him out of state after I filed for full custody and received temporary orders. We were referred to Mediation to work out a plan but its going to be hard to work something out since she wants him back. What should I expect in Mediation and what steps can I take to make sure my son remains with me? Is there anything I can I provide them that will help?
2007-08-13 13:35:58 · 12 answers · asked by professaditty 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Nohing at all!
Most likely if she wants him, your poor child will be going back and forth to you and her..
2007-08-13 13:42:08 · answer #1 · answered by contessa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had mediation recently in IL.. my atty told me the main Q is, can you make decisions together for the child... You need to decide what you can live with and your reasons, and stick to it... the best, and the least of what you can tolerate. For instance, why should she not move the child out of state? Will it make visitation harder on him? Is he in school? does he have a support system / home with you to which he is accostomed.. What would moving out of state do to him? Will he be traumatizied? Will he be moving into an "unsafe situation"? etc... Can you share custody?
The mediator will listen to both sides. Above all, keep your composure and remain calm. Be reasonable. Seem to have researched and thought of what is best for your son. Begin every sentence with My son, not I..
The mediator will try to help you come to terms, but they are not the judge.. they will make recommendations, but do not make decisions. You will likely need to go ahead with the judge once it is done.
IF you cannot make choices together for your child, the judge will decide who will have custody.. be prepared to argue what is in the best interest of the child and why.
Best of luck, email anytime..
(I have sole custody of my daughter)
2007-08-13 13:44:56 · answer #2 · answered by Wildflower 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A good screwing, and to spend some serious money. I think mediation is such a waste of time, because if you two could agree on anything, you already would have, right? All I saw was game-playing in mediation, it was crap. Good luck, just tell the truth and do not play "Lets Make A Deal" state your requirements and stick to what you know is best for your child.
2007-08-13 13:38:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bring any evidence that you've been taking care of your son for 5 months because his mother abandoned him. Mediation is about finding a compromise to your situation. But if she wants to take him outside of the state then what you should seek in Mediation is limited visitations in which she pays for the visit for your son to go see her.
Other then that take it to court prove she abandoned her childed and get yourself a good lawyer to prove that and that you've been a good father. Mediation is just a stepping stone to the bigger custody battle. You have to go through it to get to the next level.
2007-08-13 13:41:05 · answer #4 · answered by Kellie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure that she has a right to get him back unless she proves you unfit. You have had soul custody of him for the past 5 months. I don't think she will get much more than visitation rights at this point. I also don't think she can move him out of the state either. Good Luck!!
2007-08-13 13:41:56 · answer #5 · answered by ~*:•JENN•:*~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah I agree with private . the mediation is a joke . I mean if we could agree about anything why would we need to go to meidiation ? My ex did leave the state for awhile and then he decided he wanted to be a father . nope dont work that way . I hated mediation and I told the judge that it just did not work .good luck to you .
2007-08-13 13:48:54 · answer #6 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can prove you can provide for him and think of all the benefits he would get by living with you like stable home life not just taking of when the wind blows in that direction and what were the reasons she took off was it a man and did it last will she do it again if she has him,do you have good relationship with your family etc for him to grow up in a loving environment is he in any out of school things like sports that he would have to give up you have to make sure he is getting a good life and try to prove it get character references from school and friends to take with you be prepare as woman usually always wins out over the man unless you can make your case of why he is better off with you.good luck tell us how you went.
2007-08-13 13:48:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like you will be there for a while trying to sort it out. i suggest taking along a family member or friend who can support you and show the mediator that your son belongs with you. when in there try not to get worked up about it and keep you voice at a low level( don't yell and shout). try not to bad mouth the mother as this will only make you look bad
2007-08-13 13:43:09 · answer #8 · answered by foreverdamned89 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would the court do that? You should totally have him? Well she is obviously going to try and keep him from you...which you can take to court and most likely you will get full custody.....Good luck and hope this works out.
2007-08-13 13:41:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
take evidence that your son is happy and settled. Book him into play groups and sports..how old is he/ she....???
Make sure he has a schedule, courts hate unsettling kids!! they would prefer she moved back to the area than to take him away.
You need to establish evidence that he has been with you, he is settled and has a routine, get onto it straight away.
Letters from school, school reports and any other documentation can help. It may also pay to get him assessed by a child shrink to establish his/ her state of mind.
this can go for you big time. Because you are then proving to the court that your concern is only for child....
your friendly aussie solicitor....cheers
2007-08-13 13:46:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋