hi, my wife was killed in 2001. Her sister came to live with me 12 months ago to help with the kids and as time passed...we got...ummm...involved. She is 28 and I am 38. We are together (I am with my kids auntie). Everything is going great but my family arnt to impressed. She is a lovely person who works, has independance and loves the kids. Did I go to far?
2007-08-13 13:18:16 · 44 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't see how. You love her, right? That's all that matters. As long as you're not hurting anyone, there shouldn't be any problems. Just because someone looks down upon it doesn't mean it's wrong. Of course your family is entitled to their opinon, but you're entitled to your life.
Talk to your kids, see if they're alright with everything. (If they're old enough to understand what's going on.) But as long as your relationship isn't hurting anyone, everything should be okay. You love each other, and again, that's all that matters.
2007-08-13 13:23:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like a long time has passed, it's been over 6 years that your wife passed away. It seems awkward that you would end up falling for her sister, but the truth is who better to care for your children than the aunt.
I would not rush into anything and make sure that this is something you both want. You need to put the happiness of the kids first, not the attraction you both may have for each other. You wouldn't want the relationship to go sour and then the children also lose the aunt.
Good luck and think about the kids first!
2007-08-13 13:27:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man....of all the women you could have chosen from, you do you dead wife's sister? Dude c'mon, C'mon Dude! So you were probably checkin your sister in law out the whole time uh!
Personally this is a line I hope to GOD I never cross, and if I did, it would be a total accident - like it was a long lost relative that they never knew they had, and they only found out cause they were a match for a kidney or something. Can you tell I think you went to far...like Africa far. But since you LOVE her, and your not just humping around, you have to deal with the flack from the family, don't let them ruin it, best wishes woooooow!!
2007-08-13 13:36:16 · answer #3 · answered by Pastey Pat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that your wife would want you to be happy no matter who it is with. You certainly are not the first person in the world that this has happened to and you won't be the last. Listen to your heart. If it says go ahead then do it. The family will get over it in time. As long as you and your kids are happy that is all that matters now.
2007-08-13 13:24:00 · answer #4 · answered by firemouse23 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you can't help who you fall in love with and if you two were meant to be then go for it your wife is probably looking down and giving you her blessing if I die and my husband was alone you always worry about the thought of a strange woman treating you kids like you did what better person to help raise her kids is her sister it beautiful tell the others to mind there business as it was 6 years ago time to move on.good luck I think it is beautiful.
2007-08-13 13:26:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I am sorry to hear about the loss of your wife.
Second, people all have opinions and I find that family members tend to have the most judgmental ones at times. Do you feel in your heart that you went to far? Does she feel that it has? Do you believe that it is right for the children and how do they feel about her?
I think that if all is well, then there shouldn't be any issues. The people directly involved- you, the children and the SIL- are the ones that matter. Just be true to yourself and your children.
2007-08-13 13:24:40 · answer #6 · answered by April 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe, maybe not. You two a consenting adults. You are certainly a free man, my question would be is she single. If she is single and the kids adore her, it's okay. As long as she is single free and clear. The family will eventually come around but I'd put off the getting involved. Who am I kidding, you two a free and clear. Just do things decent and in moderation. Good luck to you both.
2007-08-13 13:34:37 · answer #7 · answered by Titus12 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not? Why not pose this question to the auntie? If you two are alright with it, then the hell with what anyone else thinks. Hey, at least your keeping it in the family! (Sorry, had to say that) Who else would know your children as well as her anyway? Also it would be a pretty good way for the children to remain close to they're mother.
2007-08-13 13:26:51 · answer #8 · answered by pappysgotitgoinon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES...and so did she. The kind of love you are sharing is disrespectful to your wife ,your kids and the families. What...your gonna marry her? Explain that to your kids...Hey..your Auntie is your now your mom. Euuwww....In my opinion...that's just in poor taste ...not to mention judgment. Maybe you were both finding comfort with the nearest person.Maybe it was an unfinished business kinda thing...whatever it is...it needs to stop. Your the dad ...she auntie and that is it !
2007-08-13 13:32:40 · answer #9 · answered by lucky #7 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What matters is the 2 of you and the kids. If you're all okay with things, then don't worry about it.
The kids needs have to come first, and if they are okay with daddy and auntie "being" together, then that's what matters. The family will just have to deal with it.
2007-08-13 13:22:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋