This has been going on for years and I thought it would stop when they actually got married but instead its gotten worse! He does it right in front of my best friend(his wife) and I know it bothers her because she has cried to me before about it. I would never even think about hooking up with him. What should I say to him to stop?? ( I have already told him numerous times that he is married to my best friend and that he should not talk to me that way)
2007-08-13 11:52:02 · 19 answers · asked by Melanie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i would avoid goint to see your friend as much as do unless he is not there. if she knows be grateful taht she is still your friend because usually women dont act like this. but i wouldnt be around him at all try to avoid the flirting or confront him to stop aloud in front of her and let everyone know he is a fool
2007-08-21 05:36:56 · answer #1 · answered by grumpyjen28 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes, tact is the last thing you need when dealing with certain people.
This guy has no tact, so I'm guessing that's the only thing he'll understand.
Next time he hits on you, especially if it's in front of your friend, look him square in the eye and tell him "Look. I've tried every way I know to tell you I have absolutely NO interest in you whatsoever. Now I'm telling you for the LAST time, in front of your wife, to STOP hitting on me. I've talked to an attorney, and If you don't stop NOW, I'll deal with you in court if I have to. Do yourself a favor and stop now while you're still a free man."
I know that sounds drastic, but sexual harrassment is sexual harrassment. There are laws against it. He needs to know you are very serious about it, and I'd darn sure make darn sure he knows you mean business! You can get an ex parte against him, which will not allow him any form of contact with you, period. In my state, he would not be allowed to call you on the phone or be within a specified distance from you, etc. It would be hard on your friendship with his wife, but from what you say, it would be a small price to pay. You could still see & talk to her w/out having to be around him.
I wish you luck..!
Good Luck
2007-08-21 10:49:15 · answer #2 · answered by Barbi T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For whatever reason, he must get some kick out of being mean to his wife like that. I think if he really meant it, he wouldn't do it in front of his wife. Somehow, he knows he can push her buttons by saying and doing those things. Maybe he wants to feel attractive and remind his wife that he is still attractive. Or maybe he has a mean side and just wants to see her sad. In any case, it's not a good scenario to be involved in. If you like your friend, don't be part of this sad triangle that has developed. If you can, just avoid being with your friend when he is around so that you don't have to be part of this little drama he has going on. I think avoidance is the key.
2007-08-20 06:53:08 · answer #3 · answered by aja5505 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Saying that you couldn't because he is married to his best friend might give him the idea that you could be interested. Perhaps tell him that you don't fancy him, you may even have to get mean before he stops. If nothing works you could make arrangements to see your friend alone without her husband there so as to avoid the problem.
2007-08-13 12:04:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Obviously he is not respecting you or his wife, even after you have told him you are not interested. If you can not see your friend alone, I would be tempted to be blunt and say something like "I bet you a punch in the nuts you will never say THAT again!" and mean it and follow up on it if he is that rude. Should only take once or twice, as pain is underrated as an educational tool for oafs.
2007-08-13 12:03:51 · answer #5 · answered by bmetjerry 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
when you are all together and he does that, firmly say , in front of his wife, that you do not appreciate him flirting with you and if it continues, you will have to leave. Then get up and do so.. I would from that time on , only see your friend when he is not around. I have a hunch he will find someone else to flirt with, but it won't be her best friend, and if he does mess around, she will need you more than ever.. good luck to you both.
2007-08-13 11:59:44 · answer #6 · answered by lynda 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ask him why he marride your friend. tell him you dont like it, if he continues, spent somtime away from their home, meet outside if not away from their home, explain to her that she doesnt deserve this hurt and keep friendship candle lit at all times. if this man doesnt change after these attempts, call both parents and tell them then make a decision, be ready to give her all the support she needs even if she gets to blame you when hurt, dont take it personally. we all hate and cant bare rejection no matter how clear it is that we in for the wwrong reasons. shes a true woman who beliefs and hopes that things would work out but is it worth the pain. i dont want her feeling lowly of herself.. if she doesnt get help the anger may turn in to hash things like murder, stab with a knife, cheating which couldnt be as she loves him or suicide, be very strong on this matter as any weakness may be a hard fall for you when someone blames you. he also might get really defensive whatever happens, stick to the truth and support your girl at all times. good luck. for more help email me at BrendRaditladi@yahoo.com
2007-08-19 21:38:59 · answer #7 · answered by blackbooty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignore him, make an excuse and leave. I know it's going to be tough on your friend but what else can you do? Words are not speaking loudly enough, has your friend thought about leaving him? If he is doing with you in front of her I find it hard to believe he is not doing it behind her back.
2007-08-16 06:23:08 · answer #8 · answered by Grinning Football plinny younger 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would get a stalking order out against him for sexual harrassment so that he cannot come near you at all and then purposely meet your friend only at your house or at a mall or shopping center when she is not with him. That is the best for both your and her at this time and will get him to thinking about his actions and prove to him that you really do mean business.
2007-08-13 12:00:32 · answer #9 · answered by 'Sunnyside Up' 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him it's not personal but to leave you alone or just punch him in the face a few times or what I'd do is just totally ignore him! Hope this helps good luck!
2016-05-17 05:50:48 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋