I think this is my best poem yet. Plz read?

Question

Tion


Situation

With

Desperation

Leads to

Temptation.

Complication

In

Acceleration

Leads to a

Revelation.

Revelation

Or

Hallucination

Seems to be a

Combination.

Combination

To a

Destination of annihilation



Do you think I should add more stuff whats your opinion

Answer 1

I kind of like it.

I say if you keep it simple it can be whatever the reader makes of it. If you make it complex you limit it to your own intended interpretation.

Answer 2

Dump the rhyme. It sounds like an old INXS song from the 80s. Avoid vague abstract terms that have different meanings for different people.

Then write about a scene of your life or this moment and what actually "sucks". Use alliteration, metaphors and similes, adjectives, action verbs, and try to show (visually) rather than tell (abstractly). Use the 5 senses. Keep writing, but start reading too. Otherwise, you are just reinventing the wheel. Think about why you are writing this and who you are writing it for.

Answer 3

i like your poem just the way it is. i would however, get rid of the title. clever? maybe? does it work? no.

personally, i would get rid of all the caps.

arrange the words a bit differently so that the reader knows when to take a breath

get rid of the articles they suck the power out of your profound thoughts

happy writing

Answer 4

its good. dont limit yourself though. sometimes rhyme makes the poem more complicated to write AND understand. so maybe try a few poems that dont rhyme? see how far you get with that and how u like it. expirament to see which kind of writing works best for you. keep on trying! :)

~em

Answer 5

your poem is nice give it some more work though do what is best 4 u

Answer 6

I like it keep writing

Answer 7

might be ok, if all the tion words fit the subject.

Answer 8

Just stop this disaster! Ugh!