I was in a terrible love-hate relationship for 4 1/2 years with my baby's father. I ended things with him and started dating his good friend who I thought was a match made in heaven. I thought I was gonna marry this man. He is so perfect for me. Then I started hearing a bunch of gossip about him like he's cheating on me, just trying to use me for what he can. I would always come to him with what I heard and he would always reassure me. Well, then I started catching him in lies. Just lieing about where he was and little things. I felt like I couldn't trust him. The last time I felt like he lied to me I told him that we needed to break things off and I just needed to be alone for a while. He instantly started packing his things. That just made me feel like all the rumors were true and he really was just trying to use me. I ended up having sex with my baby's father and when I came home I realized how hurt my fiance was and he really did love me. I took him back and told him what I did.
2007-08-13 09:51:11 · 12 answers · asked by Lisa 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
How could you start a relationship with your baby-daddy's good friend? That's dysfunctional. Trust is forever lost, i'm afraid. The child connects you and your "baby daddy" forever. There is nothing that can be done to make his good friend feel there isn't an ounce of feeling left and that it won't happen again. And what kind of friend is he?
In any event, learn from this mistake. There's a cardinal rule that you never date your ex's friends. It's just morally wrong.
2007-08-13 09:56:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
One of the other answers advised you NOT to feel bad for cheating on your fiance? Um...YEAH, YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD! I was married to a cheater, and it sucks worse than anything. And I'm sure a lot of people would agree...a cheater is a cheater and a liar is a liar. Things don't "just happen." People don't just "accidentally" end up having sex. There are a million little steps that lead up to it, and you failed to put the brakes on. Life isn't about what kind of attention you can get from men. It's way bigger than that. Figure out who you are, how you want to live, and how you want to be remembered. If you think you can actually commit to a marriage with this man (who you also seem to have trust issues with), than you should be at his feet, begging him for another chance! But, I'll warn you~you'll always hear about it, and you'll never have 100% of his trust because you haven't earned it. Also~You can't maintain any type of relationship if you rely on gossip. Maybe he's not a saint either, but he has every right to be majorly ticked off at you!...YOU took HIM back? What's up with that? Stop playing games and start living. Get some help so you guys can communicate with each other. Either way, life will get better. But you have to work for it.
2007-08-13 17:13:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, jumping from man to man when things aren't going right is your main problem. If you want a 2nd chance with the man you are engaged to, then accept responsibility for your actions. That is the best you can do. It is going to take a very long time to earn his trust again. There are no quick fixes. Everyday that you are trustworthy moves you closer to your goal of gaining back the trust that was lost. You can't just expect to say "I'm sorry" or say some other magic words to make it all better in an instant. Trust and faith don't work that way. Good luck to you.
2007-08-13 17:00:16 · answer #3 · answered by mafiosu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU TOOK HIM BACK?
You cheated on him right?
My wife asked me where I was one time in Sep. I lied... Or should I have told her that I was shopping for her anniversy gift. You need to wiegh it out. Perhaps his lie was not to cover his devilish ways. What happens 10 married years down the road and you hear some rumors that he denies... Do you cheat again?
2007-08-13 17:00:01 · answer #4 · answered by Floss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seriously need to lay off the men for now and focus on raising your child. Get a vibrator if you are that desparate for sex.
This love life you have going sounds like a three ring circus. Be a responsible parent and raise your child.
2007-08-13 16:56:41 · answer #5 · answered by philosophy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I understand why you cheated he should have given you more time and attention. Just keep doing what you doing and soon or later he will trust you, if not then he not the right one for you. P.S. don't feel bad b/c you cheated on him trust me I understand I have cheated on my husband 4 times, things happen and once they do you can't change it. Good Luck.
2007-08-13 16:57:04 · answer #6 · answered by PrettyAKA 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
see what happens when you make assumptions? you caused a problem where there wasn't one by assuming something that edned up not being true. and besides, you told him you needed to be alone, not that you needed to screw your baby's father. things may get better, they may not. that's not up to you. you can't make him trust you again. he's the one who has to decide whether or not you're trustworthy again. for your sake, i hope it works out, but i can't even begin to think what he's thinking.
2007-08-13 16:57:14 · answer #7 · answered by begeeman13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are NOT ready to be in a relationship at ALL. Leave this guy for HIS sake, and it's time for you to concentrate on being a MOM, leave your lovelife alone for a while.
2007-08-13 17:20:54 · answer #8 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Serious counseling, but good luck with that future very rocky road of yours, even if you end up with someone entirely different.
2007-08-13 16:58:11 · answer #9 · answered by trayl65 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he a good man? then it'll never work, you should let him go and give him my #.
If he's a sh!thead, and isnt' worth his weight in wood..then by all means you should just stay with him and I promise it will get better.
2007-08-13 16:59:57 · answer #10 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋