He has named himself & his wife as "parents" & "legal guardians" on school registration information AGAIN this year. He has done the same on paperwork at my son's doctor's office (the same dr. I've been taking him to since he was born.) We both have joint legal & physical custody but he continues to try to present his new wife as my son's mother & continues to ignore my rights as my son's mother & his co-legal guardian. We split custody time 50/50. My ex is named "primary" custodian only because I didn't have money for an attorney during our divorce & didn't know any better. So, if you feel like beating me up about that don't waste your time. I've already beat myself up enough about it.
Once again this year I am left with the burden of proof with the school system to prove I am the mother of my son with rights to see him & have custody of him. Any ideas how to get this madness to stop?! Do I have any legal recourse? Your help & advice is greatly appreciated.
2007-08-13 09:07:31 · 9 answers · asked by I Give Up 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
Our papers state that "father & mother are both awarded physical & legal custody of minor child with father as primary custodian."
2007-08-13 09:37:02 · update #1
I don't think so. This is sometimes a problem with "shared custody." Often there is a form to be filled out that does not have room for more than one person as parent/guardian of a school student. However, schools will make accommodations to work with you if you request it and have proper documentation. Be prepared to be cooperative with school administration. Contact the principal of the school and explain the situation with him and ask that the school include you on any notification. If necessary, request a face-to-face meeting. If the principal asks for documentation of the relationship, be prepared to provide the school with a copy of his birth certificate and your driver's license. Tell them that you will also provide them with a certified copy of a Custody Order from the Court on request.
I am all for trying to work out matters with schools and health care providers on a friendly, amicable basis. Remember that you are dealing with a bureaucracy, and try to do things in a friendly manner. The school just wants matters to function in a smooth manner. I know it is aggravating for you, but it helps if you have them on your side.
Unfortunately some schools have had problems in matters related to custody of children and even who is permitted to pick up children or remove them from school. It is because of that that they feel they must require proper documentation. It is for THEIR protection more than for your convenience.
2007-08-13 09:23:46 · answer #1 · answered by Mark 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you legally have joint custody, then you should have the paperwork to prove it. Just keep copies of it handy to show the school, the doctor, and anyone else. I would also send him a copy (certified and/ or delivery confirmation) with a letter telling him that you know what he's doing and to stop it before you complain to the court. (Then actually complain to the court and ask for an order preventing him from doing so again.)
2007-08-13 09:16:54 · answer #2 · answered by Hillary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I won't beat you up regarding your decisions of who the custodial parent of your child should be. My son lived with his father simply because a boy of 14 years old needs his father 's strong hand as much as his mother's tender love, decision final! Now to you. Simply take your divorce papers stating that you have joint custody to the school and notify them that you have the same rights as your ex-husband, even though he is the custodial parent. Request that they put you on any school mailings and/or meeting request, just as they would your ex-husband. Tell them your son has TWO active parents in his life, not one.
I went through the same thing with my son. And once I brought a copy of the papers showing the custody arrangement the problem was rectified. I am going to assume you spoke to your ex-husband regarding this to no avail. Also, in regard to the physician's office, my ex put his name on the documentation because he was the insurance holder, thus having any billings sent to him. But if this bothers you, than you should handle it in same manner.
Good Luck to you!
2007-08-13 09:16:50 · answer #3 · answered by deanie1962 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you indeed have joint legal and physical custody specified by a court decree, take a copy of that court decree to all the institutions to which your ex has "named" himself and his spouse and guardians and ask that it be placed in the file. The court decree will trump any statements he makes and the schools and doctors' offices are subject to the instructions of that decree regarding the management of your son as you and your ex are.
2007-08-13 09:15:22 · answer #4 · answered by Orv 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your divorce decree should state specifically what debts were hers. You can fax a copy of it to the creditors to show them the court order frees you from any obligation to the debt. While you're at it, I would suggest you ask them to transfer the debt to her name (upon receipt of your divorce decree). Your attorney may offer to do that for you but they charge an arm and a leg to do anything - this is relatively simple to do - just time consuming and annoying. They are just interested in getting their money. If you show you are interested in getting them their money and offer help too they often are more inclined to work with you. Also, many credit cards offer a "deferral" service if you have a qualifying life event. You can request that they defer payments on the card due to divorce. This protects your credit. Good luck. It's a headache.
2016-05-17 04:45:42 · answer #5 · answered by kayla 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would get a lawyer. Your husband is misleading and not giving complete information on these documents. He is primary legal guardian, this is a sticky situation. Contact the school and doctors office and let them know you are in the picture. Seek legal council on your rights in your state. Good luck and take care.
2007-08-13 09:20:00 · answer #6 · answered by schneider2294@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Primary is the Legal Guardian
according to the legal papers that I have
2007-08-13 09:15:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it doesnt matter if he has primary custody or not, his wife has not legally adopted your son and therefore has no right to add her name to any kind of document. they are breaking the law and breaching the contract of your custody agreement. consult your local legal aid office for help and advice. i feel your pain and i understand how hard it must be NOT to punch him and his wife's face in.
2007-08-13 09:17:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you guys have both been granted legal custody then he is not abiding by that judgement and you should call your lawyer and inform him of this. tell him and his wife nice try.
2007-08-13 09:12:35 · answer #9 · answered by TFB 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋