Getting married soon - any advice?
2007-08-13 08:54:12 · 28 answers · asked by CoronaGirl 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
1. Get professional counseling BEFORE you get married. Best figure out what the problems will be and iron out the solutions NOW, rather than when it is too late.
2. Communication, communication, communication. When that stops, your marriage stops.
3. Never stop doing the little things, like holding hands or buying a little gift or lighting some candles when making love or saying "I love you." Never.
4. Never insult your spouse, even if you are mad. Argue against the arguments and problems, not against the people themselves.
5. One person gave me the following advice: "Think of three things that your loved one does that annoys you... and drop them. Forget about them. Let them go." I disagree with the arbitrary number 3, but I agree with the sentiment. The point is not to sweat the small things. None of us are perfect. Don't expect your spouse to be.
6. This one goes back to #1. Don't do it all yourself. If you have problems, get help! Things will be up and down. That is natural. When they go down, talk. If you can't, then it is time to see a counselor. Don't be stubborn or selfish about this one. If your marriage is worth it now, then it is worth it when things go bad. It takes work. It takes effort. Often it takes help.
7. If he cheats or hits you, it is over. NEVER allow someone to physically intimidate you, threaten you, or commit adultery. Intimidation breeds fear and will kill your love and hurt your children. Adultery shows a lack of trust and love, and can bring home a deadly disease, or create complications with an unwanted pregnancy outside the marriage. No relationship is worth that kind of trouble. If you and your spouse both do 1-6 above, though, it will never come down to this.
Good luck and congratulations!
2007-08-13 09:05:46 · answer #1 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
We've been happily married 36 years, and I guarantee you, some of the key elements of a successful relationship - married or otherwise - are:
1) A long list of common interests; things you both enjoy doing TOGETHER as opposed to separate interests and separate groups of friends.
2) A lot of tolerance for each other's differences. As much as you share in common, you're still going to rub one another wrong from time to time. Be mature and deal with it. Separate the small $h!t from the serious stuff.
3) A sense of compromise; so that you can work out your problems with a minimum of emotional trauma. It's marital negotiation.
4) A sense of sympathy and forgiveness. You're both going to screw up on occasion. You need to be able to forgive, forget, and move on with the relationship.
2007-08-13 12:28:56 · answer #2 · answered by John Doe 1st 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweet Pea I can only give you a couple of things to help make your marriage successful: Love, Respect, Be Kind, Be slow to speak and quick to listen, Compromise, Be transparent, Know that things change after the children come, be opt for change no matter what. Good luck!
2007-08-13 09:00:18 · answer #3 · answered by b n real 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Communication
2007-08-13 08:57:35 · answer #4 · answered by Baby Girl Rylin 5/3/08 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, definitely don't nag him to death, don't try to change him because you're marrying him the way he is, definitely don't get fat or blackmail him into doing what you want by withholding sex, and last, kids can ruin a marriage, so really think hard about having them. Always try to be a bit of a challenge because men will love challenges until the day they die since they are programmed that way and he'll get bored easily if you sit around in sweats and look like crap -- always be well groomed, sexy, and pleasant. Don't be one of those stereotypical demanding and bitchy wives.
Good luck!
2007-08-13 09:00:13 · answer #5 · answered by mysterygirl 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I just got married and Congratulations to you!!!
Never go to bed angry
Get the book "Love and Respect" by Emerson Eggerichs -
lots of great advice in this book
When disagreeing - tell each other how you FEEL - don't attack.
Be each other's best friend and cheerleader - especially in the bad times.
God Bless You two and your marriage!!!!:)
2007-08-13 09:00:04 · answer #6 · answered by j b 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmm...
Never go to bed mad.
Never let one of you sleep on the couch even if you are still mad...you married him and he's your husband...he belongs next to you whether you like him at that moment or not.
Let the past stay in the past...if you have a fight about something and it is resolved you can not bring that specific situation up in another fight.
Always pretend you are his mistress in bed...
Tell him every day how much he means to you...and then offer him oral.
ha. sorry to say, but that would probably keep more marriages together.
2007-08-13 08:59:46 · answer #7 · answered by HoneyBee 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I have been married for 13 years now. He still asks me each night "Did I make you laugh today?".
I believe that laughter, communication and trust make a successful marriage.
2007-08-13 08:58:42 · answer #8 · answered by Carrie S 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Never go to bed angry with each other....Alway's show as much love and appreciation for the small things just as you do with the big things....Never hang up the phone or leave each other without saying "i love you". You never know what could happen so it's always good to hear it over and over again....Compromise, on everything....and if you feel that you need to discuss something and he doesn't want to write your thought's down and then when the time is right address them....
2007-08-13 09:03:11 · answer #9 · answered by danxtsupamodel 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Communicate totally, but not all at once.
Marriage for me, is like a treasure hunt, I find little nuggets of treasure about her, even when I am not looking.
Like she loves to be kissed on the back of the neck.
2007-08-13 08:59:32 · answer #10 · answered by David G 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋