Would you be more or less upset if your spouse left you for a gay/lesbian relationship?

Question

A divorce is a painful experience. But is the question "what could I have done differently?" irrelevant?

Answer 1

What could you have done differently? Nothing, really. If they felt that they wanted to explore that part of themselves, then that's them and their life.
i wouldn't be more OR less upset. Love is love :] And i don't believe it really sees (should see) gender.

i've been left for a man BY a man, and i've fallen in love with a woman, leaving my boyfriend for her. It happens all the time, and it's just like a normal breakup.

The part that would, and has, hurt the most is the fact they're leaving you FOR someone. And even that.. is about them. Not you :]

They just weren't you corresponding puzzle piece.

Answer 2

Sweet Pea what i have found out it is not the innocent person that is the problem it is the other person. See people seem to have these tendencies of having an affair but when it comes to be with a gay/lesbian lover they had to have had these feelings all along. They think things will change if they marry someone straight or have a relationship with someone straight and then they soon realize this is not what they want. For anybody out there that is going through this, you have to patch up your hurt and move on because it is not your fault and there is nothing you could have done differently. Good luck!

Answer 3

Not more, not less. I would be upset just the same. It's not the reason why my spouse had left me, it is the fact that he had left that would be painful. To a point, it's ok to ask yourself what you could have done differently, but you have to remember that it takes two to tango, and you're not the only one on whom the relationship depends. It might be irrelevant to keep trying to pinpoint the reasons why a particular relationship failed, but it helps to see it as a learning experience and ask yourself what can be done differently in the future.

Answer 4

less upset if he left opposed to not leaving at all? Even if you love someone the fact that they're in love w/the same sex would be tough.That is a definite eye opener that you can't get back together being their sexual preference isn't the same. Well let's look at the obvious,he's gay and you're not so sex would always be a strain in your marriage. You should find someone else now that can meet your needs sexually. I'm in college and took a biological psychology course.The class mentioned that half of homosexuality is genetic,the other is their enviroment and the way they were raised,neighborhood,social mileu,etc.Its not your fault one bit so don't be nervous that your next relationship will end the same way.Good Luck!

Answer 5

I'd be less upset. A guy leaves you for a woman and you feel threatened. Another woman is competition and can be compared to you. Another man, however, is quite different. I wouldn't feel in competition with him or feel like I could be compared to him by the guy was with.

The question 'what could I have done differently?' would reinforce the aforementioned because I'd think that I couldn't have done anything differently. I'm a woman and my guy wants a man.

Answer 6

I think I would be less upset for exactly that reason. I wouldn't always wish I had done something better or different. I would know that no matter what I had done I couldn't have met his needs.

Knowing my husbad the way I do if something like that happened I would still want to be his friend he is such an awesome guy. If he left for a woman it would be very hard to still be friends.

Answer 7

It shouldn't matter, your spouse left you. It may be easier if they left you for the opposite sex because it doesn't make you question certain parts of your relationship, but now you question everything and are forced to think if it was real or a lie. It's shouldn't matter, they still left you and you are hurt because of it. Good Luck. Live Life to the Fullest and Enjoy Every Minute Of It.....

Answer 8

That is an interesting question for sure. Somehow, I don't think it would hurt me quite as bad. I suppose because if he left me for another man, at least I would realize there was really a reason there, different needs on his part! It is painful comparing yourself to the other woman wondering what she has that you don't. I would definitely know what that x-factor was if he left me for a guy!!!!

Answer 9

I would be less up.
If my husband cheated with another woman then I would be upset and wonder what I could have done to prevent it.
If my husband cheated with a man then I would know that there was nothing I could have done- I can't help that I was born a woman!

Answer 10

More or less upset than what? Than if they left for any other reason?

I'd be hurt that they'd tried to be someone they were not, and used me to that end, rather than being more honest from the get go about any doubts or uncertanties re: their sexuality, or that they were actually homosexual but were trying to satisfy by pretending to be straight...